Poopoo peepee, Gross, Roommate and Health: Genius

Genius

By Anonymous - 18/01/2011 18:35 - United States

Today, my extremely lazy roommate is in bed with the flu. Instead of getting up to get water, he's run the garden hose through his window, and instead of going to the bathroom, he's connected a siphon to his penis and run it to a 5-gallon bucket. I have to live with this idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 585

You deserved it 5 197

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

Dude, WTF?

By Anonymous - 18/03/2016 20:57 - United States - Valley Stream

Today, my roommate reached a whole new level of laziness: I caught him casually peeing into an empty beer bottle while laying in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 541

You deserved it 1 374

By owie - 29/08/2019 12:00 - Canada

Today, after breaking my leg, I'm unable to put any weight on it whatsoever. Our bedroom? Upstairs. Our only bathroom? Basement. My husband thought it would be a great idea to leave me alone and unable to walk to go babysit his nieces. I had to piss in a bucket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 718

You deserved it 218

Splish splash, I was taking a bath

By Anonymous - 15/04/2021 13:59 - Canada

Today, my neighbour decided to get high while leaving his bathtub running, resulting in passing out and starting a flood in the hallways. FML

I agree, your life sucks 960

You deserved it 60

By MyS3lf - 19/04/2011 02:33 - United States

Today, I woke up to a strange sound that sounded like a lot of water being poured into a sink. It was actually my father in law using the bathtub as a toilet. He's staying with us, and is showing no signs of leaving any time soon. He thinks this is acceptable behavior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 128

You deserved it 3 331

By SinkyBalls - 30/08/2011 03:56 - Canada

Today, I found out my roommate thinks the sink is an appropriate place to wash his junk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 694

You deserved it 2 817

By gold3nshow3r - 09/03/2017 20:00 - United States - Roanoke

Today, I woke up to a strange wetness covering my body. My drunk roommate's urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 576

You deserved it 436

By jdch_99 - 03/11/2012 05:34 - Canada - Kitchener

Today, I'm at home, sick with walking pneumonia and a raging UTI. Every time I cough, I piss myself. I'm now having to lie on a bath towel and garbage bags until the meds kick in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 794

You deserved it 1 749

Poor little guy

By anonymous - 16/09/2022 02:30 - United States - Maryville

Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to throw my cat in the bathtub while I was in it. I had to go to the emergency room to get my penis stitched up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 352

You deserved it 135

Heavenly Shower

By deadgrass - 29/03/2012 00:44 - United States - Middletown

Today, I discovered that the stream of water that periodically falls onto the ground outside my apartment window isn't actually water. The guy above me regularly pees out of his window onto his balcony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 706

You deserved it 1 947

By EwwGross - 31/08/2011 20:15 - United States

Today, I witnessed my neighbor draining his sewage-clogged plumbing into my backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 539

You deserved it 1 956

stronghand0331 17

Tuesday 18 January 2011 23:07

That's not laziness, that is pure innovation.

IFightFoos 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 23:12

Idiot? That man is a genius!

Comments

Chris19801012 0

Wednesday 19 January 2011 2:08

wow, that's genius!!! You have much to learn grasshopper!

match21 0

Wednesday 19 January 2011 2:23

Either this mofo is really sick, or the coolest guy in existence.

tinfire 0

Wednesday 19 January 2011 2:28

hahaha awesome !!!! smart

DOEETFORTEHLULZ 0

Wednesday 19 January 2011 2:29

You suck at life, OP. You're just mad that your roommate doesn't.

Rheannon 0

Wednesday 19 January 2011 2:44

He had to set everything up. hows that lazy

emilyxorawr 3

Wednesday 19 January 2011 3:10

this fml is FUNNY.

ScuseMePrincess 2

Wednesday 19 January 2011 3:25

Idiot? He sounds like a genius! Buy him a catheter for his birthday.

deadeyeguy 0

Wednesday 19 January 2011 4:25

idiot? more like genius!!!!

samyslamajamma 0

Wednesday 19 January 2011 4:29

Your roomate is EPIC!!!

lauraakatt 0

Wednesday 19 January 2011 4:46

idiot? what are you smoking? this man is ******* GENIUS!!! i might marry him

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The Top

Today, I deleted all of my dating apps because apparently something is wrong with me. I've been on 20 different dates this year and nothing has come out of it. I feel like I have the plague and no one wants to be near me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 141

Today, I took my car to dealer because of the loud knocking sound I heard while driving it. Twenty-four hours later, they told me it was fixed. Fifteen minutes after I drove away, the tire flew off my car while I was on the highway. My car is now totaled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 099

You deserved it 642

The Top

Today, I finally lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams, unfortunately she called me by my ex-bestfriend's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 846

You deserved it 379

Today, I made huge pot of curry, adhering almost exactly to my proven and delicious recipe. It tasted completely bland, even with all the spices. I kept adding salt, until it tasted bland and oversalted at the same time. I think either the salt is broken or my taste buds are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 670

You deserved it 801

Today, my husband asked me to check his asshole to see if his haemorrhoid had grown any bigger. This is my life now, all romance gone, and having to check his hairy ringpiece every day, and our kids wonder why I drink before I can fall asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 465

Today, I got a call from my kid’s school, saying my daughter had a minor accident on the playground. When they asked her who to call, she'd said, "My mom’s probably in a meeting. Call the pizza place, they always pick up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 422

Today, I went on a hike. It had snowed the night before so I wore warm clothes. They didn’t help when I slipped and broke my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 097

You deserved it 489

Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 764

You deserved it 3 111