Work: Germaphobe

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Germaphobe

By AFSDALK:AFSDQWE - 23/11/2013 18:33 - United States - Hillsboro

Today, my boss made me cover for him by working two extra hours, because he had to rush home early to deal with an "emergency". The emergency was taking a shit, because he claims to have a phobia of doing them anywhere but at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 142

You deserved it 3 803

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 02/08/2013 21:34 - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 039

You deserved it 5 409

By DonPedro - 16/01/2009 14:45 - United States

Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 874

You deserved it 11 409

Emergency

By Ethan Sitzes - 25/06/2022 22:00

Today, I called into work because of a family emergency. My boss was understanding; my coworker? He tore me a new one because his wife wanted him to take the day off, which he didn't because it was going to be a tough day at work. He also threatened to find a way he could get me fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 117

You deserved it 108

By badbowel - 31/01/2018 13:00 - United States - Utica

Today, I was sick from both ends at work. My boss wouldn't let me go home, and told me to borrow a pair of spare pants to change into. I suffered another bout of gastroenteritis and shit someone else's pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 884

You deserved it 301

Not now, mate

By yuen - 16/06/2009 14:59 - Australia

Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 minutes. I stayed in there even though I'd finished shitting after 5 minutes, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 636

You deserved it 4 743

By blakeintheoffice - 08/08/2012 13:53 - United States

Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 497

You deserved it 3 730

By Taylor Page - 19/02/2015 16:24 - United States - Gainesville

Today, my boss used the restroom at work. She returned and told me I needed to go clean the toilet because "someone left a mess in there." It was her mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 632

You deserved it 2 539

By Username - 21/03/2012 17:10 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my boss recognized my shoes under the stall wall and had a conversation with me while we were both taking a dump. I had severe diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 417

You deserved it 2 344

By Anonymous - 06/06/2015 04:20 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I have food poisoning. My boss told me that if I didn't come into work, I'd be fired. Not 30 minutes after sitting down, I sneezed and shat my pants. My boss still won't let me leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 949

You deserved it 2 197

By gothicvamp93 - 04/01/2015 06:46 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, my boss called and yelled at me because he said I was "spotted" out after I called off sick. I was out getting the medicine the doctor had just prescribed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 179

You deserved it 2 384

Jemm_fml 29

Sunday 24 November 2013 2:53

Frankly, I know how he feels, especially if he once accidentally clogged the toilet before his cute co worker went in afterwards... FML

KasiaLilith 13

Sunday 24 November 2013 3:09

It is not at all uncommon to feel uncomfortable using a public washroom. If I can avoid pooping in a place, where I have to sit for a while and have no idea who sat there before me.. not to mention the inconvenience of stinking up the place or even worse, making noises while there are other people around..

Comments

plot41 2

Sunday 24 November 2013 12:17

So take two hours off some other time. Better still sort out an interview for another job and take the day off to go to it.

Gittoh 21

Sunday 24 November 2013 12:24

like in How I Met Your Mother?

applexj 13

Sunday 24 November 2013 12:47

I was thinking that #18 meant the boss was going to have a little "accident".

Headcrab 29

Sunday 24 November 2013 13:22

I get where he's coming from. I only poop at work when the choice is either toilet or pants.

s3xygrandpa 5

Sunday 24 November 2013 15:21

You shouldn't be too hard on him, that's an actual phobia. He may be completely scared of public restrooms, or he could be afraid of others hearing him go.

TheAv8tor 7

Sunday 24 November 2013 21:47

I have the same phobia. I hate public restrooms.

imdabess 9

Sunday 24 November 2013 22:07

hey, overtime is overtime and the good news is work brownie points!

Chiikan 3

Monday 25 November 2013 2:27

Actually, that is a real phobia for some. Because of social awkwardness and privacy issues, some people CANNOT pass their motion in toilets other than their own.

spooky655 1

Monday 25 November 2013 4:27

Classic Finch :)

apu_nahasapeemap 10

Monday 25 November 2013 8:49

Your boss needs to man up and learn how to take a dump at work. There are a lot of comments saying "oh but it's a real phobia, yada yada yada!" But y'know what, phobias can be overcome. Freakin' 2 year olds are getting potty trained fer cryin' out loud.