Love: Grooming

Grooming

By Schaf_12 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Austria - Vienna

Today, I trimmed my beard. When I showed my wife, she said, "Yeah, but you still look like a serial killer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 411

You deserved it 5 279

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Top comments

redbluegreen 40

Sunday 17 June 2012 2:16

I tell this to all my victims right before I cut them open.

EnterSandman_fml 20

Sunday 17 June 2012 2:13

At least you aren't being compared to Sasquatch.

Comments

HyperBowser1 3

Sunday 17 June 2012 15:03

I would have taken that as a compliment

thecovert 7

Sunday 17 June 2012 15:46

There's #1.

taylordanielle98 1

Sunday 17 June 2012 18:03

It's your hair!

EnzaiFreak 1

Sunday 17 June 2012 19:05

Hey, serial killers look pretty badass to!

retrorewind 13

Sunday 17 June 2012 21:31

poor Capt'n Crunch.... he will be missed

bizarre_ftw 21

Sunday 17 June 2012 22:09

She married you SDI

Emzgirl 0

Sunday 17 June 2012 23:23

Lolz sounds like my bf, its ok dw bout she says if ur not a serial killer who cares if u look like one :)

yazzy101 11

Monday 18 June 2012 0:31

Do u have a mustouche??

TheExtremeFMLs 3

Monday 18 June 2012 4:49

Maybe you are one.. O.0

PJmeloche 2

Monday 18 June 2012 15:59

Who cares? role play. Fun shit

Keywords

Embarrassing Cars Transportation Relatable Awkward Work Mental health Love AITA Am I overreacting? Social Media Family Annoying Intimacy Sex Coworkers Poopoo peepee Health Dentist Cute Sleep Animals Dogs Shopping My ex Cats Clothes Job interview Miscellaneous Weird

The Top

Today, as a teacher, I was grading some essays when I yet again came across the word "unalive" when discussing the assassinations of JFK and Abraham Lincoln. As in, "JFK was unalived." I know language inevitably mutates over time, but us teachers don't have demonetization filters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 74

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 532

You deserved it 10 056

The Top

Today, my mother yelled and yelled at me until I apologized to our cat for not petting him when he sat on my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 080

You deserved it 5 692

Today, my doctor told me that the reason I'm losing my eyesight is because I'm straining my eyes, and that the best thing for me to do is to limit my time in front of computers. I spent years in college to get my current job which involves sitting in front of computers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 277

You deserved it 2 757

Today, my idiot roommate finally realized that a girl who follows you everywhere like a puppy, always wants to talk to you, and "accidentally" sends nudes is into you. Unfortunately, she's since moved on from him. Now I get to listen to him whine about how unfair it all is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 280

You deserved it 139

Today, the smoke detector in my bedroom malfunctioned and started going off while my cat was asleep on my shoulder. He panicked and deeply lacerated my nose with his claw as he ran off. Blood got everywhere, and to add insult to injury the unit has no removable battery and wouldn't turn off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 685

You deserved it 758

Today, during a silent breathing meditation at the Buddhist center, I accidentally let one rip which echoed through the meditation chamber. If that wasn't bad enough, the follow-up odor was enough to fell a charging rhinoceros. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 546

You deserved it 8 101

Today, my boyfriend and I had a friend over. This friend was talking about how 2 girls were trying to get with him. My boyfriend says, "I wouldn't ever fuck the blonde one, but I would do the other one in a heartbeat." Then, realizing what he said, he hesitantly added "…if I was single." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 646

You deserved it 488