Health, Sex, Birthday, Awkward and Intimacy: How romantic - FML

How romantic

By fishtacos - 01/12/2014 03:32 - United States - Fontana

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend bought me some feminine cleansing wipes for my birthday so I could, "get the hoo-ha spick-and-span." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 171

You deserved it 6 761

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Same thing different taste

Charmer

By anonymous - 19/09/2010 00:15 - United States

Spicy

Today, I bought a new pack of "feminine wipes" on my way over to my boyfriend's house after a long day of work. He saw them in my purse and sweetly told me I shouldn't be so self conscious. Later on, when he was going down on me, he said, "I take back what I said earlier." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 455

You deserved it 9 155

By same - 21/11/2015 06:39 - United States - Palo Alto

Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 800

You deserved it 6 878

By amber - 19/04/2012 18:00 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, my boyfriend gave me acne cream for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 737

You deserved it 4 783

By random123 - 29/11/2009 05:16 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend was kind enough to give me prescription strength deodorant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 162

You deserved it 7 760

How's about you go **** yourself, knobhead?

By Anonymous - 26/07/2023 06:00

Today, my boyfriend of four years told me that I have a potty mouth and that I should clean it with Harpic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 321

By "BunnysKitty" - 15/09/2017 23:15

Today, per my boyfriend's request, I bought some lingerie. He got so excited when he saw me, he ripped it off me right away. After we were done he used it to clean up. I essentially bought a $40 cum rag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 059

You deserved it 893

By Derp McShitstain - 16/09/2012 19:48 - United Kingdom - Saint Helens

Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend, when he suggested that I might want to buy a new loofah. When I asked why, he admitted he's been using it to scrub his ass crack for weeks. I use that loofah to wash my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 721

You deserved it 2 774

PMS

By tamp - 22/06/2009 07:47 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I took a late night drive, and after a while he stopped at a gas station and asked if I wanted anything. I replied, "Guess." He came out and gave me a box of tampons. Apparently, I've been bitchy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 540

You deserved it 71 196

Ice age

By Drew - 16/01/2022 16:59

Today, my girlfriend was thoughtful enough to buy me some "Dude Wipes" because I work on construction sites and most of the time it's use a Porta Potty or hold it. I was late and decided I'd use the work potty. Grabbed my wipes, did my business., went to wipe and… FROZEN SOLID! Hell of a way to start my day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 023

You deserved it 156

By Deaf Dumb & Blonde - 01/09/2016 21:17 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I told my boyfriend I wanted to feel special even if for just one day. He said he would do the laundry for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 533

You deserved it 2 213

Next

Top comments

eyebrowzzz 21

Monday 1 December 2014 11:06

Buy him XS condoms for Christmas and say "they were all out of S but these probably fit you better" ;)

Raxal 21

Monday 1 December 2014 11:00

One can only wonder what he'll buy you for Christmas...

Comments

aarsch8 5

Thursday 4 December 2014 16:38

That name though.

Hiphuray4peas 27

Thursday 4 December 2014 20:17

Vaginas are self cleaning body parts. Using soaps and cleansing products can upset the balance and make things worse by opening the door for things like yeast and bladder infections. They're not supposed to smell like roses. ****** cleaning products are just products created by men who can't accept the female body the way it is, reasserting the patriarchy and shaming women into feeling bad about their bodies. Useless products if you ask me.

redneckfrankie 13

Saturday 20 December 2014 20:39

aren't men awesome sometimes ?? I think you should buy him something along the same lines to get himself "spick-and-span"

MamiMasiaa 2

Tuesday 30 December 2014 23:29

?????

lonerlarry123 12

Thursday 1 January 2015 23:13

he's a keeper

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Sleep Work Dating Love Annoying Am I overreacting? Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Teenagers Dogs Animals Video games Gamers Ironic Zoom

The Top

Today, I was on the webcam with my boyfriend. I could see that he was on the couch, and alone, so I took off my shirt and smiled, waiting to see his reaction. He smiled at me but then kept looking in another direction. I playfully asked "What's so distracting?" His answer: "History Channel". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 434

You deserved it 10 095

Today, my husband decided to flash me while I was on a video call, so my clients announced they would only work with professionals, and ended the call. I was giving a virtual showing of a £1.2 million house they were thinking of buying. At 6% commission, my husband's junk just cost us £72,000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 406

You deserved it 276

The Top

Today, my date and I were getting to know each other, and we talked about our favorite music. He's into metal. Trying to impress him, I mention I like metal too. He said his favorite band is “The Gonzorks” and I mentioned that's my favorite too. He looked at me dead and cold and said “Um, actually that band doesn't exist.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 543

You deserved it 4 731

Today, like every day she works, my roommate once again put on a ton on perfume before work because she doesn't shower. She's gone, but this smell will be here for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 561

You deserved it 251

Today, my long term ex, who broke up with me over a year ago and shattered my heart, seduced me (which wasn't hard, as he knew I still had feelings for him) and as he pulled out after the couple of minutes of what he called sex, he used the line, "There we go, that's your freebie." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 259

You deserved it 22 850

Today, I started my new job as a janitor at a store. The first thing that happened when I came in was another employee telling me that there was vomit in the restroom, and that I had to clean it up. Not only did I clean up vomit, I had to clean up the poop that made the kid puke in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 116

You deserved it 4 312

Today, I had to explain to my seventeen year-old daughter that deep frying food doesn't "melt the calories." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 448

You deserved it 1 531

Today, I saw my grandfather on the train, with his cock out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 806

You deserved it 2 137