Bosses, Awkward, Capitalism and Work: I don't wanna… - FML

I don't wanna…

By Anonymous - 28/11/2015 06:57 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my spineless shitwhip of a boss made me go fire a notoriously abusive employee. I had to act like firing him was my decision, even though I'm the secretary. Now I get to live in constant fear that the guy was serious when he threatened to find out where I live and kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 872

You deserved it 1 707

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Same thing different taste

By HelpMe1 - 06/11/2014 06:53 - Indonesia - Jakarta

Today, my boss told me to fire the unstable, former military, gun nut employee. He's been making death threats to his supervisors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 247

You deserved it 2 951

By cthulhu help me - 01/03/2013 18:22 - United States - Cabot

Today, my boss gave me the task of firing a recently-hired coworker next Friday. This guy spends most of his off-hours working out, probably abusing the fuck out of steroids, and to whom prison is like a bed-and-breakfast. I fear for my life by this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 665

You deserved it 2 829

By :( - 06/06/2013 23:37 - United States

Today, at my new job at a funeral home, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't "lighten the hell up" while dealing with our grieving clients. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 911

You deserved it 4 757

By fuckmyplums - 07/02/2014 23:47 - Austria - Grossarl

Today, I worked up the nerve to ask my boss for a raise. Today is also the day I found out my boss has a shitlist of employees he wants to fire, and that I'm now on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 398

You deserved it 4 642

By notahero - 09/01/2015 04:40 - United States - Brentwood

Today, my boss told me she had a nightmare where her life depended on me, and I let her die. Now I'm ridiculously paranoid that I'm going to get fired at any second. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 330

You deserved it 2 622

By Anonymous - 17/03/2016 13:21 - Netherlands - Ottersum

Today, I got a heads-up that my boss suffered a death in the family, but was coming into work anyway. I thought he'd be depressed, but it seems he deals with grief with anger instead. I found that out when he yelled at me, threatening to rip my spine out my ass over a typo I made in a report. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 895

You deserved it 1 403

By NotJobbing - 11/08/2015 23:05 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my lazy bastard of a co-worker punched me straight in the jaw because he didn't get the promotion I did. Being his new manager, I fired him. A few hours later, I was fired for "abusing" my power. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 451

You deserved it 3 151

Toxic workplace

By Screamingfirecracker - 15/08/2016 04:12 - Canada

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to quit my job after being tortured by my boss for months. My boss responded by throwing a hardcover textbook at me and hitting me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 238

You deserved it 900

By Paul - 02/05/2013 01:52 - United States

Today, my boss called me into his office. After yelling and firing me, his assistant comes in telling him he had mistaken me for someone else. He did not give me my job back, as he claimed it would make an awkward work environment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 081

You deserved it 2 623

By robert - 31/01/2012 00:20 - United States

Today, I went to deliver some reports to my boss in his office. He was facing away from me and ranting about his "useless employees", so I slipped in and waited for him to put the phone down. Turns out he was talking to himself. When he noticed me, he bitched me out and threatened to fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 471

You deserved it 4 222

Next

Top comments

UncleCaitlyn 21

Sunday 29 November 2015 6:30

You could always file a police report or restraining order

feliciaheartu 21

Sunday 29 November 2015 6:33

Just file a police report if you start finding anything amiss

Comments

sharond23 10

Saturday 23 December 2017 7:28

if you're the secretary why would it be your decision? that makes no sense.

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Sleep Work Dating Love Annoying Am I overreacting? Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Teenagers Dogs Animals Video games Gamers Ironic Zoom

The Top

Today, I told my wife I had a huge Zoom interview and could not be disturbed under any circumstances. Nevertheless, she called her mom, got into a screaming argument the interviewer could clearly hear, then came into my office to cry on my shoulder. She doesn't understand why I'm furious with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 530

You deserved it 57

Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said, "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him every day now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 531

You deserved it 32 698

The Top

Today, I was out on my first date in months. My stomach didn’t feel quite right after dinner, but I tried to ignore it. During the movie, it got so bad I decided to try to sneak a small fart for relief. As soon as I did, the theater fell dead silent. My fart practically echoed in the silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 705

You deserved it 598

Today, my country’s health minister said on TV, "Stay home! Don’t travel, don’t meet people!" The same evening, he drove to another state to have dinner with a group of people who gave money to his political party. He had taken a COVID test before. It came back positive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 079

You deserved it 136

Today, I found out my boyfriend is only staying with me because I’m getting him a signed poster for Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 235

You deserved it 221

Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 350

You deserved it 12 079

Today, my trunk froze shut with my Christmas presents inside. Since it was still shut, I went to the store. When I came out, some ice had melted and the trunk had popped open. All of my gifts were gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 828

You deserved it 5 341

Today, my dad thought it appropriate to ask if my boyfriend, who was in the other room, was circumcised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 053

You deserved it 174