Gross and Animals: I love the countryside - FML

I love the countryside

By disturbed - 01/06/2014 01:53 - Ireland

Today, I was hit in the face by the placenta of a cow that had just given birth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 998

You deserved it 5 708

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Same thing different taste

By vetstudentdream - 15/04/2017 22:00 - Australia - Bellbowrie

Today, I found out what it feels like to have a cow take a large, flatulent shit with my arm still elbow-deep inside their rectum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 786

You deserved it 837

By abi_vet_student - 13/02/2009 12:42 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my first day working at a milking parlor. As I crouched behind a cow to put on an udder cluster, I looked up and gasped just in time for the cow to crap on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 869

You deserved it 7 088

By 3hoursleftofwork - 28/03/2012 18:02 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, the magic of witnessing a sheep giving birth was ruined for me when I slipped and fell in the puddle of birth fluids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 749

You deserved it 5 366

By Face - 09/01/2010 10:12 - Australia

Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 353

You deserved it 34 743

By anonymous - 11/11/2018 13:30

Today, I broke my glasses. How did I break my glasses? A cow kicked me in the face at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 977

You deserved it 257

By HitbyIce - 07/02/2010 07:21 - United States

Today, I was at the theatre watching a movie. There was a lady and a kid behind me. I all of a sudden felt ice hit my head. I turned around and asked the kid to stop, then heard his mom say, "Hit that cow!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 015

You deserved it 2 841

Milkmaid

By Heifer - 16/05/2009 21:41 - United States

Today, when done feeding my newborn, I stated to my husband that I'm a cow. He said, in a sincere tone, "Oh, baby, you'll lose the weight soon." I meant cow because I'm producing so much milk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 953

You deserved it 21 342

Face it!

By MooCow - 13/07/2011 03:13 - United States

Today, my best friend told me to face my fear of cows and hop over the fence in with them. This resulted in me being chased by a raging cow, and thrusting myself head first over a fence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 598

You deserved it 15 792

By Anonymous - 01/04/2016 18:30 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my date took me to visit his farm. As we were walking, a wild rabbit darted past me and startled me. I tripped and fell face first into cow dung. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 731

You deserved it 2 734

By moe - 27/05/2011 05:26 - United States

Today, I found out what getting slapped in the face with lettuce feels like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 730

You deserved it 7 729

Next

Top comments

Rei_Ayanami 18

Sunday 1 June 2014 13:11

Ahh, the joys of country living. Fresh air, no noise pollution, and being smacked in the face by cow placenta. P.S. Congratulations on your new calf.

wtfomfgfml 14

Sunday 1 June 2014 13:14

You should have mooved out of the way.

Comments

barnicke 3

Sunday 1 June 2014 16:31

Stem cells on the face!!!! You may start looking younger :P

telli164 30

Sunday 1 June 2014 16:33

Hahahaha this is so, so ****** up. I feel for you OP!

PrimeStarscream 30

Sunday 1 June 2014 17:12

I just laughed out loud. People are staring.

ipaduaino 10

Sunday 1 June 2014 17:27

Ah the joy of veterinary medicine it happens

imbatmanfir 15

Sunday 1 June 2014 17:52

That's only a little funny but sorry to hear that! Lol

AlwaysWatching 27

Sunday 1 June 2014 18:16

Somebody hit you with it?

worldclassrager 39

Sunday 1 June 2014 19:33

I'm trying to think of something worse...and I can't...sorry OP

r_u_happy 7

Sunday 1 June 2014 20:40

One of the joys of owning livestock. I've delivered countless numbers of goats so that stuff doesn't even phase me anymore. Congrats on the new calf :)

91hayek 31

Monday 2 June 2014 3:02

I love how you had to say goats because the correct term -kids - would have been thought of as human children, and therefore compared to livestock. The joys of an evolving language.

Drake_The_Dragon 23

Monday 2 June 2014 1:51

Oh the beauty of birth!

Ray_of_midnight 22

Monday 2 June 2014 6:19

James Herriot, is that you?

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Today, I finally got my paycheck that I could enjoy $300 for myself after taking care of my bills with so many other ones. Then, I find out that the water was shut off, which is supposed to be my roommate's responsibility. Apparently, he has not paid it in months, and they want $288. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 362

You deserved it 182

Today, I fell and impaled my leg on a steel rod at work. The first guy to respond to my agonised cry for help must’ve been a total moron because he thought it was a prank and yanked on the rod to see how it worked. Then he asked if I did it on purpose to get a day off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 830

You deserved it 225

The Top

Today, it was my last day at my dad's. I thought he'd want to say goodbye, instead he told me, "Hope you've got all your shit. Anything you leave, I'm burning." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 695

You deserved it 2 728

Today, my boyfriend decided to take me out bowling. My mom was going to take us. My parents ended up bowling with us. I had a double date with my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 811

You deserved it 6 325

Today, I walked in on my mom changing. She was trying on a thong my boyfriend bought me for Valentine's Day. It looks better on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 838

You deserved it 4 835

Today, I'm 8 months pregnant with a horribly sore back and an insensitive husband. I'm so desperate for relief that I'm lying on the couch, using my vibrator to give myself a back massage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 233

You deserved it 4 728

Today, I received a new like on a dating site… from my extremely creepy second cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 940

You deserved it 93

Today, my old highschool math teacher called me, asking me to please stop calling him at 2AM every weekend. Turns out my best friend uses my cellphone to call his number every time she's drunk, and declares her eternal love to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 396

You deserved it 4 374