Health and Insects: Idiots

Idiots

By Anonymous - 19/07/2024 13:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband took our son into the woods with a big stick and two tennis rackets because they'd found a hornets nest. Yes, they used the stick to poke the nest and the tennis rackets to whack the hornets, like they thought it was a game. They got swarmed and are now in hospital. Idiots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 102

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 17/10/2012 20:08 - United States - Hobart

Today, while mowing the lawn, I was attacked by an underground hornet nest. I now have many stings, two scared dogs, and a mower still running outside. The hornets are swarming it and some are sitting on the lever, as if to turn it off. It's like they know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 142

You deserved it 1 900

Lost the fight

By Anonymous - 24/12/2014 14:43 - United States - Herndon

Today, I found a hornet's nest in the backyard, so I called my brother over to take a look. He said "Hmm, wonder how fast you can run…" then hurled a rock at the nest and sprinted back to the house. I wasn't so fast. I now feel like someone's beaten me half to death with a cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 174

You deserved it 3 981

By Anonymous - 02/04/2012 02:25 - United States - Binghamton

Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 948

You deserved it 3 440

By someone euthanize me - 16/01/2016 08:17

Today, I tested out my new paintball gun by firing a few rounds into some thick bushes. Nothing could've prepared me for the angry swarm of hornets whose nest I'd apparently shot. I'm in so much pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 878

You deserved it 8 041

By Anonymous - 30/04/2012 21:34 - United States

Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 501

You deserved it 62 882

What do I get?

By kirassi919 - 20/09/2012 16:50 - United States - North Wales

Today, I helped my parents out by tearing down the old, rusty swing set that's been in our backyard for years. Little did I know that there was a beehive hidden in the long grass, and I now have dozens of painful red bumps all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 183

You deserved it 2 265

Wasps, what the **** do they want?

By Owie - 23/03/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, a wasp somehow got into my parents' house, so I went hunting for it with my dad. I found it and, after getting into position, took a strong swing at it with a fly swatter. Unfortunately, being very uncoordinated, I missed. You can figure out the rest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 218

By Anonymous - 27/06/2014 21:15 - Canada - London

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 985

You deserved it 6 988

Hiya!

By Jon - 05/05/2009 00:46 - United States

Today, I saw my neighbor's son mowing their lawn when suddenly he started to do this crazy dance. Chuckling at his antics, I waved and walked back into my house. His mom called me from a hospital later to ask if I could put the mower away; he had been attacked by bees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 537

You deserved it 47 388

By flustered - 06/05/2012 14:57 - United States - Rapid City

Today, my son tried to swat a fly with a hammer. Our apartment walls are now littered with dents and holes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 578

You deserved it 4 780

Wadlaen 23

Friday 19 July 2024 22:43

I'm sorry for the husband and son you've got, and I really hope they learned a lesson!

tiptoppc 19

Tuesday 23 July 2024 4:23

Damn. They almost were in a good running for the Darwin Awards! Next time, they should try harder. I know they can win it and take home the gold!

Comments

Wadlaen 23

Friday 19 July 2024 22:43

I'm sorry for the husband and son you've got, and I really hope they learned a lesson!

tiptoppc 19

Tuesday 23 July 2024 4:23

Damn. They almost were in a good running for the Darwin Awards! Next time, they should try harder. I know they can win it and take home the gold!

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The Top

Today, my manager issued our next month's schedule, where I’m only working 12 hours a week, which is bollocks. He tried to claim he did it so I could spend more time with my baby. What baby? I have no baby. The prick can’t even remember who I am. Give me hours and pay me money, you wanker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 484

You deserved it 85

Today, I had a one-night stand. After holding in my farts all night, as you should, I decided enough was enough and tried to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out; instead I shat myself in her bed. I was naked at the time, so was unable to hide it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 156

You deserved it 16 866

The Top

Today, my car was stolen from my driveway. I reported it to the police, the insurance company, and my neighbors, and begged for help via social media. As I walked to catch a bus, I saw my car parked outside my school. I forgot I left it there last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 571

You deserved it 45 723

Today, a student threw her hot coffee at me after I told her I was giving her an F. For months I've been telling her she needs to hand in missing work, but she thought I was bluffing. She got suspended, but my clothes are still ruined and I still got burned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 608

You deserved it 1 791

Today, my workplace was having a raffle and was giving away a Venus shaving kit. A co-worker won, but instead of keeping it, she walked over and handed the basket to me in front of everyone, said "You need it more" and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 991

You deserved it 6 536

Today, a creepy-looking guy asked me if I "like bananas" and I said no. He then followed with "Do you want to taste my banana?" Shocked by his boldness, I froze. My boyfriend, who had heard the entire exchange, just laughed and walked off, leaving me with the creeper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 240

You deserved it 517

Today, I slipped on my icy front porch, fell back and hit my head on the step. I tried to get up, but lost my balance and fell halfway into the bush next to the steps. I then looked up to see my very hot, British, Ex-Special Forces next door neighbor laughing so hard he dropped his snow shovel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 560

You deserved it 3 496

Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 912

You deserved it 46 331