Intimacy: Imitation

Imitation

By Anonymous - 20/06/2009 16:06 - United States

Today, my husband and I were having sex in the shower while our 5-year old was sleeping. Apparently, she wasn't sleeping and she asked me what those loud noises were. I told her I was singing. Now I can't get her to stop "singing" in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 058

You deserved it 61 603

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous user - 09/08/2018 06:00

Today, my mom laughed about hearing me singing in the shower and told our whole family. I wasn't singing, though. I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 046

You deserved it 2 956

By deargodthepain - 02/02/2014 16:53 - United States

Today, I was singing in the shower but couldn't hit the higher notes. My wife complained and 2 minutes later she ran a tap causing my shower to go freezing. I shrieked. My wife said my pitch was still wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 284

You deserved it 8 863

Stop that now

By Soo - 24/12/2020 08:04 - Spain - Archidona

Today, I saw my 4 year-old daughter singing and dancing, so I decided to sing along. As soon as I started singing she said, without blinking her eyes and super calmly, "Could you please stop doing that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 760

You deserved it 266

Wanker!

By EmbarrassedBather - 09/06/2019 00:00

Today, while I was showering, someone left a note on the bathroom door that read, "We can all hear you masturbating. Shut the hell up." I don't know what's more embarrassing, that everyone in my house thought I was masturbating or that I was actually singing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 065

You deserved it 383

Scarred for life

By Guess who's back - 10/07/2022 10:00 - Australia - Homebush

Today, in the morning, my wife and I were having hot but silent sex on my futon while our 3 year-old slept in his crib. It was going great until my turn to come when I released a loud, "AARRGHHHHHH". My son promptly got up, took one look at me and his mother's back, then promptly went back to sleep without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 1 814

By Anonymous - 19/11/2010 07:47

Today, I was putting my 2 year old to bed, and I began to sing to her. She reached up, put her finger over my lips, and said, "Shhh, Mommy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 361

You deserved it 13 762

By Anonymous - 13/07/2014 17:54 - Canada - Tatamagouche

Today, I was singing in the shower, not realising the window was open. When I got out, the neighbours were at the front door, loudly arguing with my mother. They were complaining about my awful singing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 947

You deserved it 7 032

Keep it down

By Anonymous - 06/02/2011 05:10 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I reached climax. While I was screaming, my 4 year-old son came in with his water gun because he thought I was in trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 185

You deserved it 59 900

No more yodelling

By Anonymous - 05/03/2023 00:00

Today, I was singing in the shower and my neighbor called the police because they thought I was in trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 070

You deserved it 233

Oh mother, I can feel, the soiiiiil falling over my heaaaaaaad

By Anonymous - 24/10/2009 10:27 - United States

Today, I was informed by my next door neighbor that they heard me singing in the shower last night. I laughed and she told me that the family gathers in their upstairs room closest to my bathroom window to guess which song I'm singing. Every night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 609

You deserved it 6 604

purplestuff_fml 0

Saturday 20 June 2009 20:03

Ugh. I don't get why you can't just hold in your moan. Atleast take it out with breathing.. ******* hate when my mom screams for ages. Yeah, I'm a sick little bastard, I know.

PositiveChillout 0

Saturday 20 June 2009 20:05

Just make sure she doesn't shower when you're having company over!!

Comments

naja_12168 3

Saturday 20 June 2009 23:14

Long or not, you didn't have to read it. So why bother complaining?

NewLight8421 0

Saturday 20 June 2009 23:51

hahahaha, 10 years from now there'll be another fml :P

filmil 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 0:19

wow u r one dumb bitch. u were probably some brainless **** b4 u became a mother

DecemberC 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 0:40

My little brother was 4 when his slightly older friends (5 or 6) told him about it. So my mum briefly and appropriately explained what it was. He hasn't grown up scarred for life. People need to relax- there is nothing shameful about sex so if it comes up, why lie?

NoodleBurger 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 0:49

Your *5-year-old* showers? Good one.

CruelSirDrum 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 1:07

OUCH. nothing gets by the observation behavior of a kid.

SquidKid 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 1:10

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GODDDDDDDDDDDD YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!" Great song there. *sniffles*

koneko12984 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 1:11

yes. because people who have sex at all are automatically *****. roflmao.

yepitsme 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 1:13

oh good, we've moved on to expressing our thoughts in comment form instead of declaration of independence form. all im saying is the sooner she learns about sex, the sooner she can learn to be SAFE about it. i didnt say not DO it, i said be SAFE about it. we know shes gonna do it, atleast teach her to protect herself, obviously she wont do it at 5, but if she learns when shes young she'll be ready as soon as the time comes. and good for her parents for having a healthy sex life.