Embarrassing, Injury, Birds and Animals: Impressive

Impressive

By Anonymous - 19/03/2009 02:57 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. In his front room was a giant parrot. Hoping to impress them, I went over to the bird and began talking to it proving I wasn't scared. Out of nowhere, it's beak clenched onto my nose making it gush blood on the carpet. I was hospitalized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 437

You deserved it 19 347

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Same thing different taste

By birdsterrifyme - 23/03/2015 04:42 - United States - Sikeston

Today, I decided to confront my fear of birds when my friend's pet bird was walking up to me. He got on my arm, climbed up and attacked my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 166

You deserved it 4 374

By margretlle - 26/04/2009 04:07 - United States

Today, I was walking in the kitchen with my parrot on my shoulder and my dog running around. Something freaked out my bird and she bit my ear and started flapping her wings in my face. Surprised, I took a step back, tripped over my dog, fell, hit my head on the stove, and got knocked unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 744

You deserved it 8 415

By No Nip - 25/04/2019 12:00

Today, I was making breakfast with my parrot on my shoulder. He was excited about the food, and in his rush to climb down to the counter, bit through my nipple. I had to get stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 987

You deserved it 486

By Anonymous - 02/06/2012 15:34 - United States - Bellaire

Today, my boyfriend accidentally broke my nose the day he was meeting my parents for the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 442

You deserved it 2 424

By birdbath - 08/11/2009 07:26 - United States

Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 897

You deserved it 3 639

By Olive14 - 15/12/2010 06:15

Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window. I thought the poor thing wouldn't make it, when it shit in my hand, flew into my neck, then around my living room for ages before I could manage to get it out of the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 087

You deserved it 7 345

Smells like teen shit

By great 1st impression - 25/05/2014 16:09 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 973

You deserved it 7 928

By Anonymous - 29/03/2011 23:58 - Canada

Today, I wound up in hospital because my boyfriend covered my face in fake gore while I was sleeping, to see if I was really as scared of blood as I claimed. Sure enough, when I saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I fainted, smashing my head against the counter on the way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 944

You deserved it 3 987

By Devil's Pigeon - 18/04/2017 14:00

Today, on vacation, I had my first encounter with a macaw parrot, who promptly bit my ear and shat on me while amused tourists laughed and took pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 249

You deserved it 413

By Anonymous - 03/11/2011 06:22 - Australia

Today, I learned that all it takes to anger my sister's new parrot is to walk past its perch. I also learned that a beak over two inches long is very capable of inflicting injuries that require stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 150

You deserved it 4 201

jakenherman 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 9:37

okay, 1. you try to impress your boyfriends parents by.. talking.. to a .. bird? wow... 2. Did the bird rip open the cage, or did you open the door and shove you head in? your life is pretty f***ed

thequeenofscots 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 9:25

I just have to say, it makes me laugh really hard that the advert on the side of this page is for some fancy parrot cage.

Comments

wichitagirl87 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 20:58

lol aw you poor thing.. at least you tried! and how were you supposed to know that the thing would try to eat your nose off?

shehzeenahmed 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 21:46

aww that sucks, i hope you feel better.

Kommunist_Kitteh 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 22:06

Hope they don't put the parrot down for that. It'd break your boyfriend's heart, and you'd be right back on this site again...

dwights 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 22:58

RAH POLLY WANNA NOSE!

xopeachyMOMO 0

Friday 20 March 2009 0:29

I have five birds, all different types of parrots. They lunge; you don't have to stand that close to them. And they will definitely bite something in front of them, although the usually hiss first. Maybe it thought you were food, aha! Either way, that sucks, and is brave. I hate those *******. My mother insists on having them.

geoFML 0

Friday 20 March 2009 1:25

Dump the boyfriend, lawyer up, sue boyfriend's parents for negligence with the parrot. No just kidding but that would probably be the source of many more funny FMLs.

deliciouskaek 1

Friday 20 March 2009 3:42

What were you thinking? :/

moo99 0

Friday 20 March 2009 3:47

while i feel bad for you if you are telling the truth, i'm glad you're well enough to be able to post this despite your severe loss of blood and possible loss of a nose.