Sex and Intimacy: Instructions

Instructions

By Anonymous - 31/03/2009 05:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 143 574

You deserved it 16 446

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Same thing different taste

Waste

By Annie - 31/08/2011 03:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 819

You deserved it 5 301

Follow the script

By ufhdafuhds - 19/03/2009 23:31 - Egypt

Today, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pocket. Turns out he'd written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139 397

You deserved it 14 503

Like a virgin

By chchboy - 22/05/2012 05:05 - United States

Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 153

You deserved it 7 122

By Anonymous - 15/01/2013 17:45 - United States

Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 792

You deserved it 6 662

By Confused - 22/08/2012 16:33 - Spain - Madrid

Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 771

You deserved it 4 419

By disapointed girl - 28/12/2009 16:58 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then moved to his bedroom. He then feel asleep when I was on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 015

You deserved it 5 893

Congrats

By Anonymous - 27/01/2013 22:44 - Canada - Rosetown

Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 822

You deserved it 8 593

What is it?

By Anonymous - 06/08/2009 22:46 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 191

You deserved it 8 221

By petpeeeve - 11/03/2009 02:53 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time in our relationship and it was great. He drove me back to my house and walked me to the door, then instead of kissing me goodbye he patted me on the back. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113 898

You deserved it 10 285

First time?

By Anonymous - 29/11/2013 11:56 - United States - Westminster

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 289

You deserved it 6 901

sLap_fml 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 16:09

i definitely don't think that's a fml, i think that's rather cute. he wasn't scared to say that he had no idea what to do, which means he obviously wanted to please you since he was asking you what to do.

LyuboLove 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 16:01

lol that would so be me on my first time although that's why we have the internet.... it helps a lot haha

Comments

sucka_free 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 18:00

lol fail... but still warrents an awwww and just cause you watch **** doesn't mean your going to know what to do...its different IRL

lalalao_fml 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 18:01

# 5 : lmfao. # 9 : a photo wouldnt show the guy saying that ! dumbass

foolsangel 4

Tuesday 31 March 2009 18:07

At least he could FIND the hole. When I was in the 9th grade one of my friends started having sex (yeah, I know, I thought she was too young too), and she told me that her boyfriend couldn't even find it.

Ole_Stinker 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 18:16

At least he had time to say it before he was done.

fourwheelsoffury 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 18:24

The best sex you'll ever have is when both of you can talk to each other about what you want and what you like best. Just talk to him. You can't expect the other person to read your mind and know exactly what you want.

Vykeera 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 18:25

Oh come on, I didn't know my first time either... bless him. You should have helped him out!

666midnight 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 18:36

Lol #45 Yea just have a little conversation while he sits there inside you =P

lacotuitblue 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 18:42

Poor guy! Look at it this way, now you can teach him, and you will have a custom-made sex partner who only knows what you like :) btw, i decided to start my own blog with reactions to some of these ridiculous posts... feel free to share! http://yourlifeiseffed.blogspot.com/