Sex and Intimacy: Instructions

Instructions

By Anonymous - 31/03/2009 05:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 143 588

You deserved it 16 447

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Same thing different taste

Waste

By Annie - 31/08/2011 03:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 823

You deserved it 5 305

Follow the script

By ufhdafuhds - 19/03/2009 23:31 - Egypt

Today, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pocket. Turns out he'd written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139 415

You deserved it 14 507

Like a virgin

By chchboy - 22/05/2012 05:05 - United States

Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 162

You deserved it 7 123

By Anonymous - 15/01/2013 17:45 - United States

Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 805

You deserved it 6 664

By Confused - 22/08/2012 16:33 - Spain - Madrid

Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 785

You deserved it 4 427

By disapointed girl - 28/12/2009 16:58 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then moved to his bedroom. He then feel asleep when I was on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 032

You deserved it 5 899

Congrats

By Anonymous - 27/01/2013 22:44 - Canada - Rosetown

Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 832

You deserved it 8 597

What is it?

By Anonymous - 06/08/2009 22:46 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 209

You deserved it 8 229

By petpeeeve - 11/03/2009 02:53 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time in our relationship and it was great. He drove me back to my house and walked me to the door, then instead of kissing me goodbye he patted me on the back. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113 904

You deserved it 10 288

First time?

By Anonymous - 29/11/2013 11:56 - United States - Westminster

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 297

You deserved it 6 904

sLap_fml 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 16:09

i definitely don't think that's a fml, i think that's rather cute. he wasn't scared to say that he had no idea what to do, which means he obviously wanted to please you since he was asking you what to do.

LyuboLove 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 16:01

lol that would so be me on my first time although that's why we have the internet.... it helps a lot haha

Comments

danny_ 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 19:53

poor guy, Give it another shot and get tips from p0rn sites.

partake_fml 2

Tuesday 31 March 2009 19:53

You guys are stupid. Of course he kinda knew what to do, but he was just really stressed out and was wandering HOW he could do it so he can give her pleasure..... In theory t sounds really simple.. In practice, with all the emotions and stress, it's way more complicated.

56578 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 19:55

I think I've read this FML, or one very similar to it, before.....

Amkii 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 19:58

#5 made me lol pretty hard.

Powahouse 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 20:00

That's awesome. But I don't think he was trying to be taken litterally...

musicislife_fml 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 20:13

HAHAHAHA. saaaadddd :(

baller_9 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 20:18

thats hilarious. everyone knows what to do once you are in.

DiAGO77 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 20:19

So why didn't you tell him , jesus , better yet why don't you do all the work .

lazyyboy00 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 20:29

educational **** anyone?

FoundManyLemons 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 20:48

This is why we should wait until we're married to have sex! Nothing like awkward virgin sex. Anyway, I take it you're not a virgin, even if he is. You should have known. Train him well, think of it as an experience, not a burden (like you imply here), and don't leave him worse off after you've gone.

xNephilim 18

Sunday 30 September 2012 7:44

... Marriage doesn't automatically make you a non-virgin. You'll still end up having "awkward virgin sex". If anything, the added pressure of AMAZING wedding night sex would make this even more awkward. I suppose. I know I'd feel the pressure for it to be amazing ten times more.