Kids, Family and Health: It burns

It burns

By WTF - 16/03/2011 22:05

Today, after my 22-year-old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 531

You deserved it 12 564

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Same thing different taste

By redeye - 19/09/2011 05:03 - United States

Today, my younger brother decided it would be funny to put rubbing alcohol in my contact lens case while I had them soaking overnight. I didn't realize this until I put the first one in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 681

You deserved it 2 459

By Anonymous - 09/04/2012 22:32 - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 617

You deserved it 3 008

By afather - 14/06/2015 13:41 - United States - Worthing

Today, I had to take my son to the hospital for drinking sunscreen. Apparently, he saw something on the internet that said if he drank it, his body would sweat it out and continually apply it to his body. He's 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 398

You deserved it 6 532

By Anonymous - 28/12/2010 21:47 - United States

Today, my brother thought it would be hilarious to put vinegar in my contact solution. I took my contacts out hours ago and my eyes still burn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 488

You deserved it 2 626

By Anonymous - 27/04/2019 04:00

Today, my moron of a teenager drank lube to lubricate his throat during a coughing fit, thinking it would take away the itchiness in his throat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 217

You deserved it 402

By don'tdrinkthat - 03/11/2013 22:27 - United States - Quincy

Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 267

You deserved it 4 825

By anon - 20/06/2014 05:06 - United States - Kennett

Today, I woke up and put my contacts in. It appears that I got drunk enough last night that instead of soaking my contacts in contact solution, I used mouthwash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 345

You deserved it 24 742

By badmom - 25/02/2012 11:25 - Ireland

Today, my 18-year old son decided to run his hand over our wooden fence to try and get a splinter, as he "forgot what they felt like." Last month, he stabbed himself in the arm with a sewing needle because he "forgot what an injection feels like." I raised this idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 106

You deserved it 8 667

Big brained

By TiredTeacher95 - 22/01/2022 19:59

Today, I had to call poison control on one of my students, because they decided to drink a half a bottle of hand sanitizer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 201

You deserved it 99

By Anonymous - 13/10/2014 00:38 - United States - Racine

Today, my son drank a bottle of hot sauce. It wasn't a dare, he actually thought that it would give him a fever so that he could skip school tomorrow. This idiot is 15 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 015

You deserved it 5 174

perdix 29

Thursday 17 March 2011 8:16

I hope you did the Pee Wee Herman Tequila dance in the ER waiting room. That woulda showed him.

truehitman2010 0

Thursday 17 March 2011 8:31

idiot everyone knows your suppost to use vodka

Comments

Daisy_D 0

Saturday 19 March 2011 9:56

Omg so funny he sounds like a winner for sure

cod3rEd 2

Saturday 19 March 2011 20:36

"I raised this moron" exactly. ydi ... old ***** may not be appropriate but you're still an old *****

lizzie1441 0

Sunday 20 March 2011 17:31

ur a dumbass fag. stfu

Pendoom 0

Sunday 20 March 2011 18:18

He had to of gotten this from manswers. :D

5t3ff1k4h 44

Monday 21 March 2011 3:53

He had to have* seen this on Manswers. You're welcome.

scenequeen101 0

Monday 21 March 2011 7:10

haha DUMB ASS!!!!

PollyluvsTigger 2

Monday 21 March 2011 11:25

cheer up buttercup, they're having a joke!

ohyeahParis_fml 0

Sunday 27 March 2011 21:34

doesnt water come out of the kitchen sink?? i see how you raised this moron!!!

jazziness 12

Saturday 30 April 2011 22:05

sounds like my brother

eradonnes 0

Monday 2 May 2011 3:15

woooooo TEQUILA!!! *hicccup ahh shit how'd i end up in mexico...AMAAAAA!!!

czalc 0

Sunday 21 August 2011 7:29

What a waste of tequila! This guy is a moron!

rapunzellouise 11

Sunday 2 October 2011 8:35

Did this really happen?? Omg! Hahahahaha

Keywords

Embarrassing Miscellaneous Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, my husband threw a bitch-fit and made passive aggressive remarks throughout the entire day. What did I do? Call him out on commenting an eggplant, peach, and winky face emoji under a female friend’s picture. He deactivated all social media accounts and shouted, “Are you happy now? I can’t talk to anyone now!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 94

Today, I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I can only have sex with really fat men, because that’s what turns me on, yet as soon as the sex is over, through no fault of theirs, I have to run to the toilet to be sick because I can’t believe what I just had sex with. I’m so messed up in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 2 524

The Top

Today, just before a job interview, I coughed so violently that I lost my voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 216

You deserved it 2 112

Today, after I moved in with my best friend a year ago, living with her and her boyfriend for over 3 months, I couldn’t handle them fighting so I moved out 9 months later. She cheated on her boyfriend with a coworker and is now moving in with me, so, "We can live like wild teenagers." We’re both 30 and I’m not single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 211

Today, my boyfriend of 8 years broke up with me on my 30th birthday, through text message. FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 104

Today, as always, my name is Karen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 670

You deserved it 409

Today, I had dinner with my family for the first time in a couple of days. My mum and dad spent the majority of the time arguing whether salt or pepper weighed more. This is why I'm not home often. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 809

You deserved it 2 243

Today, my dentist pulled the wrong tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 445

You deserved it 2 954

It burns

Same thing different taste

Big brained

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