Embarrassing, Dogs, Awkward and Animals: It's not what you think… - FML

It's not what you think…

By sucks - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Spicy

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserts dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said, "How do you like that?" Then my mom walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 932

You deserved it 158 996

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Top comments

MURPHYCHACHO 5

Monday 18 May 2009 9:49

What. The. Hell. Are. You. Smoking?

fueledbyamy 0

Monday 18 May 2009 9:51

thats so wrong, but so ******* hilarious at the same time!

Comments

ZEROGage 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 22:18

Um, was your brain surgically removed at birth you ****** moron? Do the world a favor- DON'T BREED. Especially not if you don't know better than to hump a mutt!

jenn22_fml 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 22:42

um....wow. dont understand what was going on in your head.

Tall_Kid 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 23:24

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA i love you thats something i would do!!!!!!!!

SwingSea 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 1:05

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The only thing more disgusting than *********** is Nancy Grace's face... at least something has you beat!

Scott_George 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 2:07

hey guys dont b so mean! im sure they got the idea from 2kinds.com, cept they didn't have a pet tiger lmfao. best one today i agree with #1, adding, and can i have some?

CaptainDude86 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 2:26

What is WRONG with you?

LadyinaBlueDress 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 2:45

Hahahaha, great logic :P

kayapapayaa 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 2:59

some people just have really bad timing...

rawr_93 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 4:13

ahahahaha that made my day! the mental images are disturbing yet extremely amusing...

_mcs_ 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 4:54

This is disgusting. Truly disgusting.

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Keywords

Relatable Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Health Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Love Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Medication Teenagers Animals Dogs Video games

The Top

Today, my brother showed my wife a Craigslist ad by someone seeking casual sex. It had very specific details that made it seem like I wrote it. My brother later admitted in private that he made the post as revenge for me not loaning him $500 last month. Meanwhile, my wife still thinks I'm unfaithful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 647

You deserved it 1 159

Today, my husband has been out partying all night. While my in-laws didn't ask him a single question, earlier I received more than six calls from them about when I'll be home to cook and clean. Where was I? In the office for the first time after working from home for past 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 056

You deserved it 111

The Top

Today, I was pulling out of my driveway and was watching out for the flowers I'd just planted. I moved my head to look out of my window to avoid them, not realizing my window was up. I then hit my head, broke my nose and drove all over the flowers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 664

You deserved it 43 261

Today, having been on hold on the phone for several minutes, I felt the need to release a fart. Just as I started my release, they picked up. They definitely heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 256

Today, after spending $300 replacing a dryer and getting the vents cleaned out when our tenants complained their clothes weren't getting dry, my husband and I realized that it was actually the washing machine that was broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 757

You deserved it 280

Today, I found out my partner is cheating on me with several women. I broke up with him but he won’t move out without legal action (he is staying in my apartment), so I’m literally stuck being around him. He’s been very toxic and petty since I found out. I just want this to end. FML

I agree, your life sucks 620

You deserved it 129

Today, my mom added me on Facebook. She wrote on my wall, for the whole world to see, "Why are you swearing on the internet?! You're grounded". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 436

You deserved it 22 388

Today, I was walking out of work. I felt like everyone was staring at me but brushed it off. It wasn't until I got home that I realized I had toilet paper sticking out of my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 471

You deserved it 710