Embarrassing, Dogs, Awkward and Animals: It's not what you think…

It's not what you think…

By sucks - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserts dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said, "How do you like that?" Then my mom walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 932

You deserved it 158 996

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Top comments

MURPHYCHACHO 5

Monday 18 May 2009 9:49

What. The. Hell. Are. You. Smoking?

fueledbyamy 0

Monday 18 May 2009 9:51

thats so wrong, but so ******* hilarious at the same time!

Comments

BipolarBettie 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 6:27

I choked because I laughed so hard nice going

fyourlifetoo 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 6:28

LOL #1 said it all XD

Epiphany1882 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 6:28

LOL @ # 12, dont give him any ideas. This belongs in a movie. This kids got a odd sense of humor tho. lol

dlogan93 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 6:38

why are you ******* dogs in the first place.

tutusinghsohi 3

Tuesday 19 May 2009 6:39

i was at work when i read this... AND I WAS LAUGHING MY ASS OFF!!!! costumers were looking at me and thinking - "what the **** is he laughing about?"

20batman09 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 7:09

r u guy or a girl?

lostchick64 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 7:19

when did something like that everrrr seem okay?

ClandestineME 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 7:30

This is so not right. Instill your dominance somewhere else, get off the dog.

omar_fml 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 7:57

haha where the **** did you read that

aka_candy6 3

Tuesday 19 May 2009 8:01

wow. just WOW.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Awkward Embarrassing Health Am I overreacting? Relationship advice Love Weird Work Dating AITA Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Gamers

The Top

Today, my jobless husband wants to buy the latest iPhone. His current phone is in good condition, except that he has a 1000 apps on it slowing it down. We're also in deeply crushing debt from all his bad financial decisions from his severely loss-making business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 169

You deserved it 182

Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 053

You deserved it 8 438

The Top

Today, on a plane, a little kid was kicking the back of my son's chair. When the kid's mom went to the toilet, my son told this little kid, "If you kick my chair one more time, I’m going to kill your mom and you’ll never see her again." He stopped kicking but damn, what kind of son did I raise? FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 242

Today, I found out the time I'd requested off for a trip in 2 months, that my boss said that I could go on, wasn't fully processed, just in case he decided I couldn't go. He told me the second part after I'd bought no refund tickets for shows for both me and my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 774

You deserved it 160

Today, after my younger sister always made a habit of using everything of mine, from clothes to shoes to jewelry, the list now includes my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 424

You deserved it 118

Today, I was at a music festival when a group of idiots decided to push over a port-a-loo (portable toilet). I rushed over and tried to hold it up to save the person inside from a very messy and embarrasing scene. Not only did the door open, covering me in excrement, but there was no-one inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 162

You deserved it 9 444

Today, my fiancé proposed to me. He said, "I could have picked anyone, but I chose you. You're a solid 2, which is average. Not a 10, but I'm glad you're a 2. Less pressure, ya know." I'm not sure if I should be more upset with the fact that I'm "average", or the fact that he thought this was romantic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 305

You deserved it 4 271

Today, I told my dad I want to enlist in the army and he tried to lock me in my room. He did almost the same thing when I told him I wanted to do certain college courses to make it easier to become a police officer, only there was a lot more swearing and throwing of objects. FML

I agree, your life sucks 633

You deserved it 201