Health, Painful and Injury: JESUS CHRIST!

JESUS CHRIST!

By rubmytummy - 10/06/2009 21:12 - United States

Today, I was helping my church clean up a park. I was given a sledgehammer and told to break up a concrete picnic table so we could haul it off. About halfway through, I swung the sledgehammer REALLY hard, completely missed the table, and hit myself in the shin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 813

You deserved it 23 353

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Same thing different taste

By PlsForget - 18/08/2016 21:47 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I was volunteering at a neighborhood house tutoring a bunch of kids. Everything was going fine until one of them jumped on the table I was at, which broke and hit my knee. I swore in front of all the kids and my volunteer coordinator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 666

You deserved it 1 293

Self report

By Bonk - 04/02/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, my clumsiness reached a whole level when I hit myself in the face with a hammer hard enough for blood to come out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 186

Dumb, but relatable

By Maju - 31/10/2019 04:00 - Netherlands

Today, I hit my toe against a table. Out of frustration, I kicked the table and broke my little toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 2 736

You're grounded!

By Break A Leg - 08/08/2022 14:00

Today, I accidentally slammed my leg against the coffee table. It was only after I went to the bathroom a few minutes later that I realized there's now a massive gash on my upper leg. I also got in trouble for yelling, "SON OF A BITCH!" as soon as the impact occurred. FML

I agree, your life sucks 762

You deserved it 138

Accidents will happen

By Anonymous - 27/04/2009 05:58 - United States

Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 014

You deserved it 9 307

By Jopes - 10/05/2009 12:44 - United States

Today, I cut down a dead tree in my yard. The top hit the ground and the base seesawed up in the air and came down on my head. I hit the ground like a sack of flour. Fortunately, the wood was rotted and soft. Unfortunately, the chainsaw was still running. 28 stitches in my calf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 714

You deserved it 13 715

Always wear protective gear

By Anonymous - 06/06/2020 14:02

Today, while nailing a board down, I hit my thumb with the hammer. As I reached to console my throbbing finger, I dropped the hammer on my foot. When I went down to hold my foot, I smacked my head on the board. Now I've got a concussion, a smashed finger, and a bruised foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 657

You deserved it 692

Dumpstered

By KO: - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was changing the garbage at a local fast food place where I work. Being a rather short guy, I had to lean back and fling the full, heavy bag at the top. I did so with such force that my head hit the dumpster, knocking me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 944

You deserved it 5 243

ARE YOU ******* SORRY?

By Evelyn - 19/03/2012 20:18 - United States

Today, I was at the park with my friends. We were all having fun on the swings, when out of nowhere I heard a thud, followed by a child crying. Turns out I accidentally kicked him in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 508

You deserved it 7 897

What? How? Why?

By Anonymous - 17/03/2021 22:01 - United States - Boise

Today, I smashed my finger with a hammer. A finger on the hand holding the hammer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 699

You deserved it 309

Poonheart 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 2:02

That must have shattered your shin... -.-

justxmyxluck 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 2:06

I'm cringing just reading this. Well at least you didn't hit your crotch. That would just about kill you. =/

Comments

WhiteDelight 4

Thursday 11 June 2009 1:59

first!

HahaYDI 0

Saturday 22 August 2009 6:00

Hahahaha "REALLY hard" That's what she said.

JamesM9794 0

Wednesday 7 April 2010 22:00

I've done that before except I smashed my finger on a nail

shaawty_fml 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 2:00

ouch

colton_colton 49

Sunday 2 February 2014 23:23

That hurts thinking about it

blabbermouth26 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 2:00

#1 sucks man I'm sorry op

GoGo_Tey 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 2:01

uu dumb as shit uu deserve it

tko 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 2:01

hahahahaha lol u idiot :)

dandcd93 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 2:01

Pay attention to what you're doing. YDI

melissaa_fml 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 2:01

OUCHHHH!!!! but you definately deserve it for not paying attention to what you're doing

andyn 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 2:02

I've done that smashing up a gazebo, I hit myself in the shin and the handle flew up, smacked me on the chin, then landed on my foot...

amiepurcellx 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 0:14

^ LOL

Nooneslooking 0

Tuesday 21 June 2011 4:50

Poonheart 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 2:02

That must have shattered your shin... -.-

blabbermouth26 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 2:03

#1 does not suck anymore must have thought better about that first

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Teenagers Animals Dogs Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, I was on the webcam with my boyfriend. I could see that he was on the couch, and alone, so I took off my shirt and smiled, waiting to see his reaction. He smiled at me but then kept looking in another direction. I playfully asked "What's so distracting?" His answer: "History Channel". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 434

You deserved it 10 095

Today, my husband threw a bitch-fit and made passive aggressive remarks throughout the entire day. What did I do? Call him out on commenting an eggplant, peach, and winky face emoji under a female friend’s picture. He deactivated all social media accounts and shouted, “Are you happy now? I can’t talk to anyone now!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 94

The Top

Today, as I go to a small private Christian college, the academic dean came up to me and asked me to put some old records on CD, since I have a record player that can do that. I had to listen to eight records of old students from the 1970's singing bible thumper Christian hippie music. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 036

You deserved it 9 653

Today, I was working at a movie theater when I was called to clean what can only be described as "Dog Shit Surprise" out of a theater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 169

You deserved it 1 442

Today, I was happy about finally having the time to pot up the $50 worth of reblooming iris's I bought. Until I went into the garage and couldn't find them. My husband cleaned up and threw them in the garbage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 998

You deserved it 281

Today, my partner got mad at me for forgetting to turn off the bedroom light when coming back from brushing my teeth, and has chosen to sleep in our spare bedroom over it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 846

You deserved it 252

Today, I was talking about phobias and anxiety disorders in psychology class. I nearly had a panic attack because I was worried that someone might realize I suffer from them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 052

You deserved it 4 056

Today, in a fit of paranoid hysteria, my mom threw out my phone, claiming the NSA can look through the camera to spy on me. I guess that's why you're still using your own phone to sext your latest boyfriend, eh mom? FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 165

You deserved it 3 017

Same thing different taste

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