Leaking
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States
By Anonymous - 17/07/2015 17:14 - United States - West Palm Beach
By Morgan Bailey - 18/09/2018 14:00
By dumblonde76 - 14/09/2021 07:00 - United States - Jackson
By Anonymous - 21/11/2022 22:00
By Anonymous - 15/11/2022 10:00 - United States - Utica
By Anonymous - 12/10/2020 23:01 - United States - San Jose
By Anonymous - 18/08/2020 17:11
By Anonymous - 20/04/2022 22:00
By Anonymous - 02/02/2024 06:00 - United States - Hoffman
By Anonymous - 31/12/2013 18:22 - United States - Bessemer
New market, new town, new life.
It's the new craze - the diarrhea dash! It was a supermarket smash!
Wow thats shitty.......literally.
Wow thats shitty.......literally.
From OP: I, good citizen that I am upon rare occasion, in fact cleaned up everything, including my "trail" which was, thankfully, short because my pants were absorbant. (I recommend heavy natural fibers should you wish to re-create this distressing experience.) I was also helped by my wife, whom I've formally nominated for sainthood only because nothing more lofty was open. It was she who handed me dozens of paper towels dipped in warm water with which I cleaned myself. It was she who washed my pants in the bathroom sink (!) while driving away customers who only thought they needed to use the mens room. It was she who acted as lookout while I darted out to clean my "trail." Finally, to 22: it's called "explosive" diarrhea because you can't stop it no matter how hard you clench. Your clencher is no match for several feet of your musculara propria in full spasm, squeezing your large intestine with a death grip. If it ever happens to you, you'll understand all too well.
Why pretend to be the OP?
Thank You! I haven't actually laughed out loud on FML in awhile. My faith has been restored in the shitty lives of strangers.
Keywords
I love the way you wrote that OP!! (first?)
Oh God I remember when I had really bad diarrhea at Books A Million... Luckily it didn't reach past my underwear when I finally got to the bathroom. Note to people in charge of bathrooms: it is NOT cool when you have to ask for keys to bathrooms. When I gotta go, I GOTTA GO.