Leaking

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our local supermarket. Ten feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants' legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new supermarket, maybe a new town. FML
I agree, your life sucks 45 628
You deserved it 3 629

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Oh God  I remember when I had really bad diarrhea at Books A Million... Luckily it didn't reach past my underwear when I finally got to the bathroom. Note to people in charge of bathrooms: it is NOT cool when you have to ask for keys to bathrooms. When I gotta go, I GOTTA GO.

Comments

gator_fan101 0

I watched this happen to someone in a stake and shake. Thanks for bringing back that memory... EWW

It's the new craze - the diarrhea dash! It was a supermarket smash!

mohlee 0

I hope you don't live in my town, OP. No seriously, that sucks. It's cool to see a poster from Alabama though :D

From OP: I, good citizen that I am upon rare occasion, in fact cleaned up everything, including my "trail" which was, thankfully, short because my pants were absorbant. (I recommend heavy natural fibers should you wish to re-create this distressing experience.) I was also helped by my wife, whom I've formally nominated for sainthood only because nothing more lofty was open. It was she who handed me dozens of paper towels dipped in warm water with which I cleaned myself. It was she who washed my pants in the bathroom sink (!) while driving away customers who only thought they needed to use the mens room. It was she who acted as lookout while I darted out to clean my "trail." Finally, to 22: it's called "explosive" diarrhea because you can't stop it no matter how hard you clench. Your clencher is no match for several feet of your musculara propria in full spasm, squeezing your large intestine with a death grip. If it ever happens to you, you'll understand all too well.

whackman56789 7

He wasn’t. He was simply relaying a message that was posted by OP elsewhere in the comments

tayzer_fml 0

Strengthen your sphincter you must.

Thank You! I haven't actually laughed out loud on FML in awhile. My faith has been restored in the shitty lives of strangers.

Drummerboy0272 0

Omg I'd ******* kill myself....