Love, Sex and Intimacy: Let's get it on

Let's get it on

By Frank - 17/08/2011 06:50 - United States

Today, I came home from work tired and horny, and asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go make love. While all she had done all day is lay on the couch and watch television, she said, "I'm too tired, why don't you just go into the bathroom and grab a quick wank." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 057

You deserved it 6 456

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Same thing different taste

Can't win

By Anonymous - 24/09/2019 22:00

Today, I was in the mood for morning sex, but my wife told me to go wank it off in the bathroom. Three minutes later I was mid-wank when she started banging on the door because I was taking too long, and she needed to pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 161

You deserved it 363

By Username - 18/03/2010 08:21 - France

Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 585

You deserved it 49 799

Don't you want me baby?

By Ugh - 05/12/2024 21:00 - Romania

Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 84

Bad timing

By Anonymous - 23/06/2022 14:00

Today, I got home and I was feeling horny so I leapt on my boyfriend, except he had just got home from a 16-hour day and was too tired. After his nap, he was horny but by that time I was way too tired and no longer horny. This is ridiculous, we can’t even get laid even though we live together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 389

You deserved it 373

By BlueBallMcGee - 11/05/2009 12:08 - United States

Today, I came home from working twelve hours straight. Feeling rather frisky, I attempted to seduce my wife upon arriving home. She said that sleep was better than sex and went directly to bed. It was only 6:30 PM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 766

You deserved it 7 039

Wait

By Anonymous - 20/07/2022 22:00

Today my wife told me she really wanted to have sex, and to wait in bed while she got ready. Turns out get ready means do the dishes, feed the dogs, clean the cat's litter tray, phone her sister, make coffee, shower, and wait for the dryer to dry her pyjamas. By the time she got in bed, I'd fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 467

You deserved it 1 087

By Velian - 09/12/2008 08:59 - France

Today, I began to undress my wife, who was watching TV, and gave her a massage to relax her while she watched her soap. 20 minutes later, when the programme came to an end, she said "I wish you'd let me watch TV in peace!". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 651

You deserved it 4 734

By hannieannie - 09/02/2016 21:51 - United Kingdom - Oxford

Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 379

You deserved it 3 124

Romance is dead

By Anonymous - 10/10/2022 18:30 - Turkey

Today, my girlfriend and I haven't had sex for a long time, so when she got out of the shower I was ready on our bed to finally do it. Her response? "Really? Now? I just got out of the shower." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 504

You deserved it 492

Waste of time

By I'mmessedup - 29/09/2021 22:59

Today, after weeks of every excuse not to, my wife wanted sex. It was amazing, and she had at least 3 orgasms. Instead of cuddling afterwards, she got up like someone kicked her and started bitching about all the things she could have been doing, as she got dressed and stormed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 152

You deserved it 538

abes22 0

Wednesday 17 August 2011 11:51

should have asked her to come help you..

jasminea 0

Wednesday 17 August 2011 11:54

show her how tired she really is (;

Comments

jahshuwa 0

Thursday 18 August 2011 3:38

Selfish bitch

SMyD_RenBen 0

Thursday 18 August 2011 4:47

Someone Just got **** blocked.

tomoko_fml 1

Thursday 18 August 2011 5:29

Exactly this. A little lovey-dovey cuddling can easily lead to something more XXX-rated. Though if you try and it doesn't...well... You have my pity.

starfish7 18

Thursday 18 August 2011 4:53

Don't ask...just seduce her. If she is tired, just take charge and do most of the work yourself. She will get into it!

ithappens28 0

Thursday 18 August 2011 4:56

worst comment mentioning turtles i've ever seen....

iMagzzzy 0

Thursday 18 August 2011 4:59

Does it really matter if shes awake?

Dalton1177 2

Thursday 18 August 2011 5:06

It's better to ask for forgiveness then permission.

mikep911 1

Thursday 18 August 2011 5:34

All she had done all day was *lie down

1911_Angel 0

Thursday 18 August 2011 5:39

Next time start early. Send a text or call her a couple times during the day. Tell her you love her or that the smell of her perfume makes you want to be with her so bad, and you can't wait til you get home. Putting thoughts of being together in her mind might get her on the same page as you when you get home. If she is just sitting around watching TV then that could REALLY help! Have you ever watched daytime TV? What a mood killer!!!!