Kids, Dogs and Intimacy: Life imitates art - FML

Life imitates art

By awkwardsituation - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Spicy

Today, I watched a stray dog hump a garden gnome in my front yard. So did my two year-old daughter. I've already had to stop her "re-enactments" twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 761

You deserved it 4 980

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Top comments

iSitt 0

Sunday 11 July 2010 16:38

it's the next travelocity commercial

jrkarikas 0

Sunday 11 July 2010 16:45

YDI for having an easy garden gnome.

Comments

jonny2x4 0

Sunday 11 July 2010 20:18

Did you realize your daughter just witnessed the raping of a garden gnome by a dog? Now she's practicing raping inanimate objects. If she keeps this up, she'll want to try pole-dancing by age 5.

brushababyy 0

Sunday 11 July 2010 20:21

oh children.

nathan41222 0

Sunday 11 July 2010 20:35

holy shit that is funny as he'll!

Klink_fml 3

Sunday 11 July 2010 20:40

lol future stripper anyone?

Igor_g5 0

Sunday 11 July 2010 20:51

YDI for having garden gnomes.

nerdsgetmehot 22

Sunday 11 July 2010 20:56

Well, those garden gnomes are pretty sexy. I like my men short, bearded, and employed by Travelocity.

rawrineedcandy 0

Sunday 11 July 2010 21:00

pedonome

buddymask1 0

Sunday 11 July 2010 21:28

that'll be a good story to tell her boyfriend one day!

coolbreezelain 0

Sunday 11 July 2010 22:03

Yes, indeed! Hahaha!

_celizabeth 0

Sunday 11 July 2010 22:00

yuck.

Sarra88 4

Sunday 11 July 2010 22:04

lmao #38!!

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Keywords

Awkward Embarrassing Miscellaneous Sleep Work Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Teenagers Dogs Animals Video games Gamers Ironic Zoom

The Top

Today, it's been two months since I broke up with my boyfriend. He's been texting me every time he found a bobby pin at his house that belonged to me, saying we should both see it as a sign of us belonging together. If he keeps this up every time he finds one, the texts will probably never stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 096

You deserved it 880

Today, at my sister's engagement party, my cousins thought it would be funny to get my nanna drunk. They regretted it when she told them, and everyone else at the party about her sex life and how she fakes orgasms with my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 294

You deserved it 9 653

The Top

Today, I found out that my mom isn't coming to see me for Christmas. Instead she'll be spending it in jail for a DUI and battery. Thank you to my cocklick of an aunt for taking a recovering alcoholic to a bar and pressuring her into relapse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 723

You deserved it 3 286

Today, I was browsing the People of Walmart site, chuckling at all the weirdos on there, when I came across a picture of my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 949

You deserved it 7 925

Today, I was pretending to be a veteran for the US Navy at a local outlet, because I was desperate for cheap stuff. All was going well, until an actual vet pointed out that the ship I had on my naval hat was a fictitious one. Shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 3 419

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 089

You deserved it 31 371

Today, I wore a dress that I bought last weekend to work, thinking how I liked it and it fitted me perfectly, until someone at work told me that I was actually wearing a nightie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 976

You deserved it 23 676

Today, I realized I wasn't getting notifications for my voicemail, so I decided to check it and found out that I had 3 job offerings that are no longer an option. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 050

You deserved it 3 757