Lying and scheming
By samantha711 - 10/11/2009 02:28 - United States
By samantha711 - 10/11/2009 02:28 - United States
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By jobless - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Buffalo
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By wasteoftime - 07/06/2017 20:00
I think the word "lying" is being used bit too strongly here. It's not so much lying as it is about telling them what they want to hear. When answering the questions, keep in mind that all the questions are loaded. They tell you to tell the truth in order to get you to lower your guard. They con you into thinking they appreciate honesty. In reality, it's a smokescreen. It's basically catching more flies with honey than with vinegar. It is easier for them to weed out potential "problem" employees once they find you have strong opinions on things. So you try to think,"What would they want me to say?". Bending the truth may seem unethical, but in the kind of society we live in today, it's all about survival. Do what you have to do to survive. even if it means compromising your principles. Sad commentary, yes, but it is what it is.
Yeah, for those things, just pretend you're a trusting, honest, obedient, punctual, confident, emotionally level person with pretty good leadership skills who never ever does drugs and loves working with other people people but can totally work alone too. Even if not all of that applies. And never question the reasoning behind using a test which essentially rewards dishonesty!
YDI. Psych analysis isn't really used to see if you're right for the job or if you're actually a good person. It's intended purpose is to see how well you kiss up to and for your boss(es) and how well you can cheat, scam, and lie your way through a job while keeping a good face. Employers don't really care whether you're a good and/or honest person or not. On the other hand, some people do answer truthfully anyway, not necessarily because they're good or because they're honest, but simply because they're true to themselves despite the consequences. Truth be known, if you think about it that way, if someone is displeased with the services you can offer, they probably don't deserve to have someone like you in their employ anyway. That's not to say, however, that such an attitude is inherently wise. Many times, it's exactly the opposite, especially if it's just for foolish pride. In other words, either answer the blasted questions like the employer would expect you to (lie, cheat, etc.), stick yourself out for whatever reason you desire (however foolish or wise), or just find a damned job where you don't have to fill out one.
To fail those things are impossible. I mean the questions that give the big ass red flags are the ones that say, "I find stealing to be okay if it's small things. True/False" or "I feel like I'm failing if I ask for help. True/False" So, YDI. Every employer knows people are lying. I got a 93% on my last one. Some jobs won't even look at applicants who get lower than 70% now, like my job. Every employer knows someone steals, someone is lazy, someone just doesn't give a shit. They just don't expect you to admit it. Well, at least you didn't get fired six months down the road for being stupid, right?
You aren't selling yourself if you are telling people your faults. I don't know what kind of test you took, but surely you at least thought about why they were asking those questions.
It also helps not to be mentally unstable. This wasn't a "how well can you tell the truth" test. It was a mental test. And you failed.
This isnt new I don't think I have ever actually told the truth on any test for a job.
Haha aw, OP. If no one told you, how would you know? It's true, though. Never answer honestly. Answer as if you were the best worker suited to the job, always obedient to the boss, always following the rules, and always seeing things in black and white. It's dreadfully immoral and unrealistic, but it's the only way you're going to get hired.
I applied for seasonal job at walmart and had to fill out one of those. There were several odd questions. One was “if you saw a lady stealing for her children, and you knew there was no way she would be able to feed her kids otherwise, would you call management on her?” Pretty sure I didn’t answer that one honestly. Another one was “If your TV broke and there was no way you could fix it and someone told you they knew where you could get a new TV for $100, would you take it or question why it was so cheap?” I thought that was odd because walmart sold TVs for less than $100. I fudged the truth on all of them and, no joke, they said I qualified for the management track
Keywords
Have you ever looked at child ****? Op: Uh, she was 15... I mean 18... I mean...oh god! Have you ever sexually harassed your employer Op: I wish! I mean, I wish that happened... no didn't happen... no... wait... can we erase the last ten minutes. I don't think we are looking for someone like you. Op's Friend: I am a christian, with magical powers, and I can fly, so I will always be on time. Also I never sleep with people, I am like a plant, I don't need food just water and sunlight. So put me by a window, give me some coffee and I will never sleep. I am always honest, honestly.
Do you get along well with others? ... No. Do you tend to have violent mood swings? .... Yes. Are you clinically depressed? ... Sure as shit am. Have you ever had a restraining order against you? ... Who hasn't? Do you take any illegal drugs? .... **** yeah, why, you lookin to buy? Sometimes honesty just is not the best policy.