Work: Lying and scheming

Lying and scheming

By samantha711 - 10/11/2009 02:28 - United States

Today, I found out that I didn't get a job because I failed the psychological analysis. It told me to answer each question and tell the truth. So I did. I asked my friend, who got the job, if she told the truth. She said no. Apparently you have to lie in order to get a job. Sorry for being honest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 511

You deserved it 7 870

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/01/2012 19:45 - United States

Today, I spent two hours filling out an online application and questionnaire for a potential employer. The application stated that there were no right or wrong answers and to answer truthfully. I was automatically rejected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 426

You deserved it 5 391

Honest

By Anonymous - 04/09/2024 22:00 - Australia

Today, I had a job interview that I really wanted to nail. Everything was great until the interviewer asked me why I left my last job. I meant to say, "I felt it was time for a new challenge," but instead I said, "I felt tired of pretending to care." The look on their face was priceless. Needless to say, but I don't think I'll get the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 527

By Confused - 13/05/2013 14:39 - United States - Bath

Today, I was told I would not be getting the job I was offered because I failed my drug test. They never gave me a drug test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 630

You deserved it 3 144

By Anonymous - 16/11/2012 23:59 - United Kingdom - Eastbourne

Today, I went to a big job interview. Everything went well at first, with the interviewer being impressed by my CV. I was then interrogated over not having a Facebook account, and practically accused of being a criminal, because people without them "always have something to hide". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 693

You deserved it 1 932

It's all too much

By twistedelegance - 19/07/2019 04:00

Today, I failed my driving test, and didn't get my great new job that a buddy helped me get. He got fired, and they won't hire me because he recommended me, regardless of how qualified for the job and how great the interview went. He called to tell me an hour before my driving test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 770

You deserved it 167

By Lisa - 28/10/2018 22:00

Today, I was turned down for a job because they thought I lied about having a six-month internship. Why? The secretary I told off for stealing my lunch every single day told them she hadn't heard of me, and the new company won't listen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 596

You deserved it 305

Due diligence

By jobless - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Buffalo

Today, I heard back from a company that I recently interviewed with. They told me I didn't get the job because "it was obvious that I had been coached." I wasn't. Sorry that I actually researched the company unlike the rest of the nitwit candidates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 030

You deserved it 3 882

And then it hit me

By Anonymous - 06/05/2024 01:00 - Russia - Moscow

Today, there's a company I want to get a job at, and I've worked for a long time to get in. However, I realized that in the test task I'd been doing for almost a month, there was a small mistake in my calculations that makes all my results false. And, of course, I'd already sent this task to HR two days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 168

The Apprentice

By panther of the desert - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Puerto Rico - Rio Grande

Today, I was to have an important phone interview for a job. I got a call and everything went perfectly, and they said I was hired. Later, I found out that one of my "friends" had gotten one of his buddies to prank call me and make sure the line was engaged when the real interviewer called. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 848

You deserved it 2 305

Waste of time

By wasteoftime - 07/06/2017 20:00

Today, I went to a job interview. I never applied for the job, they'd sought me out, had a phone interview, and sent samples, all before the face-to-face interview. Turns out none of the people I met with had even read my resume or writing samples. I was told I might not be a good fit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 316

You deserved it 300

Flutist 3

Tuesday 10 November 2009 9:41

Have you ever looked at child ****? Op: Uh, she was 15... I mean 18... I mean...oh god! Have you ever sexually harassed your employer Op: I wish! I mean, I wish that happened... no didn't happen... no... wait... can we erase the last ten minutes. I don't think we are looking for someone like you. Op's Friend: I am a christian, with magical powers, and I can fly, so I will always be on time. Also I never sleep with people, I am like a plant, I don't need food just water and sunlight. So put me by a window, give me some coffee and I will never sleep. I am always honest, honestly.

HeatherFTW 0

Tuesday 10 November 2009 9:43

Do you get along well with others? ... No. Do you tend to have violent mood swings? .... Yes. Are you clinically depressed? ... Sure as shit am. Have you ever had a restraining order against you? ... Who hasn't? Do you take any illegal drugs? .... **** yeah, why, you lookin to buy? Sometimes honesty just is not the best policy.

Comments

Peroxide 3

Tuesday 10 November 2009 9:56

That's how the police catch most of their murderers. Answer every question and make sure you tell the truth: 1. Did you kill him?-yes End of Test

grimmelok 0

Tuesday 10 November 2009 9:58

What are you, 10? Of course you don't tell the truth to everything.

Flutist 3

Tuesday 10 November 2009 10:06

Op not only lives with their mom, still breast feeding.

anjyu22 0

Tuesday 10 November 2009 9:58

First day in the real world, eh?

nokillnobeepbeep 0

Tuesday 10 November 2009 10:10

Welcome to the real world kiddo.

Flutist 3

Tuesday 10 November 2009 10:11

is it because you cried

BadLuckBub 0

Tuesday 10 November 2009 10:25

There's a point of telling the 'truth' and what's the 'right truth'. You tell employers what they want to hear. Not what you think your personal opinion is on the subject. If you didn't know that, you're an idiot.

saunder 0

Tuesday 10 November 2009 10:42

the way it is #21 agree

DarkJoy_fml 5

Tuesday 10 November 2009 10:47

It is like Lionel Hutz said on the episode of Simpsons where Marge becomes a real estate seller. There's the truth and then there's the "truth." A dilapidated house=a rustic house a small house= a cozy house etc. Sorry that this happened OP it sucks, but really it is a good lesson to learn. You are always going to have to fudge details to get a job unless you're a perfect person and even then I doubt they will hire you cause they won't believe it when you say you don't have flaws. Sorry. Learn to lie or FYL.

macfarley 0

Tuesday 10 November 2009 11:22

you sure it wasn't an ethics test rather than psychological? if ethics ydi for not knowing to answer unethically= choose the most ethical option every time. if psychological, ydi for not realizing that it was a test of adjustment and conformity, and that you should have lied to make yourself seem more sane.

Tubasaurus 0

Tuesday 10 November 2009 11:26

It must have been a place like best buy where the online applications have 50 questions devoted to your personality. If the options are "strongly agree" "agree" "disagree" and "strongly disagree", always go with the most extreme.