Work: Many such cases

Many such cases

By Idiot says "HIPAA violation" - 27/06/2015 01:21 - United States - Roanoke

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 344

You deserved it 2 569

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 18/06/2014 19:06 - United States - Lake Wales

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 496

You deserved it 5 038

By Anonymous - 08/09/2013 16:38 - Switzerland - Bern

Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 007

You deserved it 3 594

By Anonymous - 03/05/2015 07:42 - United States - Annapolis

Today, I pulled a piece of dental floss out of my ass. How it got there is one of life's great mysteries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 426

You deserved it 5 066

Downhill

By loveinanelevator - 13/02/2012 12:03

Today, I visited the doctor. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 694

You deserved it 2 694

Mah bawsac

By Anonymous - 12/07/2014 20:19 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 021

You deserved it 8 045

Bad sandwich, bad week

By Anonymous - 07/09/2019 12:02 - Korea Republic of

Today, I went to the doctor's. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 794

You deserved it 112

By ERnightmare - 02/08/2018 21:00 - United States - Long Beach

Today, I was lucky to have an extremely attractive doctor operating on me. This would have been great had he not been removing a foreign object from my vagina after an ill-fated masturbation session. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 115

You deserved it 4 267

By Anonymous - 15/08/2015 09:32 - Canada - Prince George

Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 826

You deserved it 5 073

Bustin' my ass

By Anonymous - 07/10/2020 20:01

Today, I went in for an interview. While I was waiting to be called, I used the restroom. When I stood up to wipe, I slipped on the floor and fell ass first into the unflushed toilet. I was found an hour later, covered in my own shit and too injured to move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 428

You deserved it 193

Nice.

By poururheartout - 27/07/2018 20:30

Today, I went to the ER as I have an ulcer and I was exhibiting signs of a perforation. This is when the gorgeous doctor told me he had to stick his finger up my butt to check for rectal bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 279

You deserved it 398

warped_executive 16

Saturday 27 June 2015 23:55

Practice makes perfect? xD

SuperWhoMarvLock 22

Saturday 27 June 2015 23:58

I think lying about it is way worse than owning up to it. It just makes you look stupider than you already look.

Comments

Jack_Me_Off_Jerk 5

Sunday 28 June 2015 18:52

Maybe it grew there

Bernadetta 12

Sunday 28 June 2015 19:01

Hahaha Maybe they were just practising yoga and somehow this ended in them :D

protoskore 27

Sunday 28 June 2015 19:20

people really need to get a handle on things. preferably attached with a strong cord, not flimsy string.

Jayroc 18

Sunday 28 June 2015 21:03

This is why I stay away from cucumber patches.?

nursecrys 4

Sunday 28 June 2015 21:14

Yankee candles (the big ones with lids), false teeth, and small animals are all part for the course.

babysupermonkey 4

Sunday 28 June 2015 21:45

laughed so hard i started to haz a couch attack

kevinhlee93 7

Sunday 28 June 2015 22:30

Why FYL? Your job is to be professional. Even if he had a weasel up his ass, your job is to just look past the crazy hilarious incident that happened and lub up that bitch and pull it out

UnholyGentleman 6

Monday 29 June 2015 0:52

I guess I musta left my single condom in the grocery store next to that bottomless pit.

emmshemms 5

Monday 29 June 2015 7:27

Isn't that confidential? Are you sure you should be sharing that on the Internet?

sturschaedel 27

Monday 29 June 2015 20:26

Yeah, since we all know his full name and home adresse now, confidentiality has clearly been violated.

Backboner 3

Monday 29 June 2015 12:04

It's the week to celebrate anal penetration because man with man fornication cannot happen without a ******. It's sick, but sickos have been successful in forcing this lifestyle into mainstream society.