Meat

By tomedicalforlove - 21/02/2013 05:51

Spicy
Today, my husband and I were fooling around in the shower. For some reason, I thought it'd be a good idea to grab his man meat and show him how to wash someone at a nursing home. He said he'd never be turned on by a nurse again. I'm a nurse. FML
I agree, your life sucks 13 130
You deserved it 41 972
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Top comments

DocBastard 38

Maybe the fact that you call it "man meat" like a pubescent teenager is what turned him off.

256 10

Comments

NotGabe 28

Yes, because being compared to the elderly is quite the turn on.

87 1
buddy51 23

OP: you wash the "man meats" of your old male patients naked in the shower with them??!! Your marital sex life is over but you still have a promising career in elder care!!

28 8
oj101 33

That's why you don't mix your personal and work life together...

11 2
buckdharma 36

Did you Dial a wrong # by grabing his Irish Spring with so much Zest that he thought his Lever needed a Lifebuoy?

23 32
hannaaaahr 33

How? Excuse me, what? I have no idea what to make of this comment.

6 3
andyyroxx 20

Let's give him the Axe and move on. Here's his Head & there's his Shoulders.

20 1
THExistentialist 13

I read it seven times and I haven't the slightest idea either :/

5 3
andyyroxx 20

Cosmetic/bath products, an attempt to put a punny spin on them. (Clean &) Clear-ly, it didn't work.

12 0
Enslaved 36

It didn't-- Dawn on anyone they were all names of soaps. Anyhoo I got a kick out of it.:P

18 0
xrudeboyrock 29

wow, I wish I could hit YDI more than once.

14 3
GothickNihilist 15

You can if you logout and then log back in.

3 2
curlstar 6

What next? Are you going to try to get him dressed for the day, spoon feed him and wipe his ass too? How could you think that giving him the full experience of what you frequently do for elderly men would excite him? I hope you didn't start with, "First I hold their man meat like this..." O.o

13 3
Epikouros 31

Some men would love to be treated that way, but they'd be adult babies rather than nursing home fetishists.

3 1
perdix 29

Once he realized you do this day in and day out, the clinical junk wash had lost its appeal. I guess it like getting fingered by a gynecologist.

29 2
THExistentialist 13

which, honestly, is miserable. my doctor uses his huge sausage fingers so violently i could swear he's trying to turn my cervix inside-out D:

14 0
Enslaved 36

I have a female gynecologist. She has the gentlest touch. I like it! (:

14 0
GwennaRose 22

36 Great, now I'm picturing a gynecologist attempting to show his wife how he uses huge sausage fingers to examine other women's cervixes everyday *shudders

18 0
THExistentialist 13

but he's using his digital examination to press against his other hand on my belly in order to feel my ovaries! the duck-billed torture device is so he can look at the cervix and attack it with giant Q-tips, he shouldn't be trying to break into my uterus!!

3 0
hurleyjoe 8

How is that in any way sexy? Do you try to turn on all your elderly patients in the shower? If so you should be arrested and if not why on earth do you think it would be sexy to wash his junk like you would an elderly persons? What the blue hell is wrong with you lady?

14 6