Sex, Awkward, Cute and Intimacy: Mood ruiner

FML for mobile
Free

Mood ruiner

By RuinedTheMood - 21/09/2014 05:11 - United States - Tomball

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said, "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded, "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 980

You deserved it 13 483

April Pisces: Traps and Laughs
Laugh at the best (and worst) April 1st jokes. Watch out, you could be next! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

That was quick

By Anonymous - 09/09/2012 12:03 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 574

You deserved it 6 835

Bad sign

By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 01:28 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 865

You deserved it 6 272

Miscommunication

By xoxo - 01/04/2020 02:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend won't talk to me because I let a giggle slip during sex and he's convinced I was laughing at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 898

You deserved it 422

By Anonymous - 09/07/2019 20:00

Today, I woke my boyfriend up at 7 a.m. to have sex. I thought the sex was great, but later he kept complaining, "I can't believe you woke me up so early." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 980

You deserved it 773

By anon - 27/07/2015 04:43 - United States

Today, I tried to wake my boyfriend up to sex. When I went to touch his penis, he elbowed me in the face, mumbled an apology and began snoring again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 575

You deserved it 5 960

By teegtwo - 22/07/2014 05:55 - United States

Today, my boyfriend said we can't have sex with the light on anymore. He said he can never finish because the face I make when I orgasm makes him laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 022

You deserved it 27 002

Honky

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 472

You deserved it 5 229

Booming

By Anonymous - 26/04/2013 22:22 - United States - Arvada

Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 941

You deserved it 10 203

By Anonymous - 01/02/2011 13:43 - United States

Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 161

You deserved it 5 334

By Anonymous - 23/08/2015 14:03 - United States - Charlotte

Today, after some great sex, my boyfriend mused: "You know, from this position, I could punch you in the cunt and you wouldn't be able to stop me." I could only relax when he finally fell asleep nearly an hour later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 722

You deserved it 2 765

fearlesscooldude 12

Sunday 21 September 2014 18:39

That is actually pretty hilarious, sorry that you lost your morning pleasures though :)

adrian1910 15

Sunday 21 September 2014 18:40

Don't drop the soap

Comments

godcomplexkid 7

Tuesday 23 September 2014 1:02

it'll were off.

Donna_Dashh 8

Tuesday 23 September 2014 3:37

Haha, goodness. That's a good one!

trendkilla254 4

Tuesday 23 September 2014 5:44

Back story: He just got out of jail recently.

Maskarade_fml 1

Tuesday 23 September 2014 23:49

Haha this just made my day...

mathsgeek69 8

Thursday 25 September 2014 11:44

...am I the only one who has seen this before on a meme?

RayvenWhite 12

Wednesday 8 October 2014 16:14

XD love people with a sense of humor.

landryr 4

Tuesday 3 March 2015 1:25

goals af

EpicCrazyBitch 12

Sunday 15 March 2015 17:24

OP, you are AWESOME ma'am!

blackwidowtaco 31

Friday 31 July 2015 8:14

On the bright side, at least you've got a pretty humorous sex life to look back on

EliGolsdworthy 7

Monday 25 July 2016 21:04

You chick are funny I'd have laughed if my partner said that

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Vacation Family Technology Health Ironic Money Pizza Delivery Miscellaneous Clothes Embarrassing Awkward Surprise Animals Scary Death Work Bullying Skincare Relatable AITA Love Transportation Cars Relationship advice Friends Cooking Intimacy Sex Underwear

The Top

Today, my girlfriend was a mystic and I'd told her not to use FML because it seemed negative. I think it feels controlling and I don't want that. I also deleted a file that was about fear of her husband dying because she lost her dad. I wish I could go back and be on FML too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 409

Today, at physical therapy, I felt that all-too-familiar gurgle in my gut, but I thought it would a light, silent fart. I squatted for an exercise and shit my pants in front of the cute, single, male physical therapist. He definitely noticed. I still had 30 minutes left in the session. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 823

You deserved it 663

The Top

Today, I was denied entry into Hong Kong after flying here from Canada and paying thousands of uncancellable dollars for quarantine hotel and other plans, because the immigration company fucked up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 021

You deserved it 172

Today, I'm sick with a fever, and on my cycle I was too tired and forgot to change my tampon, and ended up putting another one in. I woke up to go to the bathroom and ended up pulling two out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 983

You deserved it 371

Today, I saw a small bug on the wall, so I decided to send it straight to the insect afterlife by smashing it with a book. The book crushed it, and caused my clock to come free from the wall and crash down onto my TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 935

You deserved it 26 598

Today, I called the toaster a "cheeky thing" for being done before the kettle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 509

You deserved it 23 303

Today, I couldn't sleep because I had the worst time positioning myself around my cat who was sleeping in my bed. I couldn't kick my cat out of bed because I earlier today had an argument with my brother over which of us the cat loved more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 007

You deserved it 42 713

Today, my boyfriend was about to go down on me as foreplay before losing his virginity and he actually poked my clitoris and said, "What’s this thing?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 825

You deserved it 441