Gross and Health: My idea of fun

My idea of fun

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I found out that since no other procedures are working, I was required to stop eating, and drink a bunch of foul tasting "goo", which will in turn give me constant diarrhea. This will then prepare me nicely for the long tube with a camera on the end of which will be shoved up my rectum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 699

You deserved it 3 898

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Same thing different taste

Bunged up

By Anonymous - 17/03/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, the medication I’ve been taking has caused me to become constipated for so long I'm now unable to go, because all my poop is a solid mass in my bowels no stool softener can touch. So a surgeon is either going up my ass with a hose and a spoon, or cutting open my stomach to remove it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 88

Drained

By Anonymous - 01/08/2020 23:01

Today, after following the directions and drinking a gallon of what can only be described as an industrial strength laxative for a scheduled colonoscopy. I shit my brains out for nearly 12 hours. The hospital then called and canceled my procedure an hour before my arrival time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 147

You deserved it 110

Rip it up and start again

By Anonymous - 24/12/2022 15:00

Today, after fasting for 24 hours and drinking 2 buckets of laxatives, my doctor's office notified me that my colonoscopy had been cancelled. I'd just finished the prep by taking the fart pills, and now have the cleanest colon ever. A lot of time spent on the toilet that I’ll never get back though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 057

You deserved it 122

States of matter

By Nirah - 26/07/2019 21:00 - Canada - Parksville

Today, I'm a week into a prescription of extremely constipating antibiotics. I also just caught the stomach bug going around at work that causes aggressive diarrhea. The two combined mean I have a constant, slow-moving stream of thick, foul-smelling sludge coming out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 049

You deserved it 166

Dad jokes

By Anonymous - 22/08/2013 17:56 - Philippines - Dasmarinas

Today, it's my last day before I get my colonoscopy. I've been on a strict chicken broth and jello diet in preparation. My dad thought it would be hilarious to drag me out to one of the best restaurants in town just so I could watch everyone else eat their delicious meals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 536

You deserved it 3 162

Help!

By 2for1 - 28/03/2019 00:00 - Norway - Sandefjord

Today, after being constipated for four days post-surgery, I have gotten diarrhea. It doesn't actually help getting the hard plug out, but it has found slow passages around it, so I’m still left to my own devices. This is not the kind of gold I’d like to be digging for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 778

You deserved it 164

Healthy lifestyle tips

By middleagednurse - 04/10/2017 23:37

Today, I spent 5 hours in the emergency room for what I thought was heavy bloody diarrhea. After having various implements and doctors' fingers shoved up my ass, it turns out I was only shitting out the family-sized bag of red spicy cheese curls I had eaten for lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 582

You deserved it 4 118

Receipe for disaster

By Yudith - 13/06/2024 14:00 - Canada

Today, I went to the doctor, expecting him to tell me my cancer was gone. Instead, he told me I will need a colostomy, which means all my favorite food will be replaced with yogurt and parsley. No tabbouleh, as onions would make the colostomy bag stink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 86

By Ali - 17/04/2019 02:00

Today, after drinking a half gallon of liquid laxative in preparation for a colonoscopy, I puked the half gallon of laxative. Out my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 225

You deserved it 226

By blehh - 14/04/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, I had horrible pains in my stomach area so I went to the doctors. They couldn't find anything wrong and sent me to the Emergency Room for X-rays. After spending the entire day in the hospital, they tell me I'm slightly constipated. I had to pay $400 to find out I had to take a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 293

You deserved it 54 669

SirEBC 7

Wednesday 19 January 2011 9:12

People get colonoscopies all of the time. Big deal.

FYLDeep 25

Wednesday 19 January 2011 9:11

When doctors get to the bottom of things, they quite literally get to the bottom of them.

Comments

aerogxt 7

Sunday 18 November 2012 7:32

You poor, pitiful, pansy of a pussy. Be glad it's a camera and not my dick you twit.

ViviMage 38

Wednesday 5 December 2012 8:48

Trust me, we all go through this

Llama_Face89 33

Wednesday 13 February 2013 5:12

It's a colonoscopy. Pretty much everyone needs one at some point. No need to whine about it, man.

tigersponge2 8

Thursday 14 March 2013 2:52

been through it. I get your pain.

Sodapop40 21

Thursday 4 April 2013 19:42

Umm, i'm 16 and have had 2. & got my large intestine removed. No need to whine about it on the internet, its not that bad. Everyone gets them.

BaDumTsss_fml 23

Wednesday 24 December 2014 5:49

Ugh I hate having colonoscopies -_- I have to drink this lemon tasting this that's disgusting three times a day before the day of the colonoscopy, and the only thing we can have is flat, clear lemonade. I've had 4, first one when I was 10. I'm now 14, and about to have my 5th. This is a true FML!

kct101 18

Monday 6 July 2015 20:06

it's better than cancer at least, my dad had it and it was horrible. because of it I have to start getting them done at 19

hayleyannah 15

Saturday 11 July 2015 17:07

so? that's called a colonoscopy. They're common, lots of people have had one, I've had one. It's not a big deal and it's not like you're the first one to have one. Suck it up and deal with it.