Insects, Scary and Miscellaneous: New, from Goop

New, from Goop

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, after a nap, I went to scratch my eye and felt what I presumed to be a clump of mascara on my eyelash. I didn't wear mascara today. It was a tick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 680

You deserved it 3 936

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 10/08/2010 16:34 - United States

Today, I woke up to find a tick stuck to my eyelashes. The only way I know of to get it off is with fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 457

You deserved it 6 916

Ouch!

By pickle - 20/09/2019 06:01

Today, I applied mascara directly onto my eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 201

You deserved it 538

By chelsea - 07/03/2011 22:23

Today, I found out that if you cry yourself sleep and forget to take off your mascara, your top and bottom lashes will stick together. Leaving you unable to open your eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 564

You deserved it 13 911

Hello little dude

By Anonymous - 19/05/2012 22:54 - United States

Today, I was about to get in the shower, when I felt an odd itch in my navel. I saw what I thought was bellybutton lint, so I pulled on it, and quickly realized what I had between my fingers was a still-squirming, headless tick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 574

You deserved it 2 864

By yuck - 15/11/2011 14:38 - United Kingdom

Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 020

You deserved it 17 426

By ticked - 06/10/2009 13:01 - Pakistan

Today, I was eating a packet of chips while watching TV. I saw a crumb on the table in front of me, so without thinking I picked it up and ate it. It wasn't a crumb. It was a tick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 555

You deserved it 47 991

By Ciara - 11/06/2012 20:44 - Ireland - Cork

Today, I woke up to a weird feeling on my face. Thinking it was a bug, I slapped at it. It was my freshly-inserted nose ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 286

You deserved it 35 185

Classic confusion

By Anonymous - 28/11/2023 05:00

Today, while I was shaving my nose started to itch. Guess which I shaved and which I itched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 188

Knackered

By morethanablondemoment - 28/08/2015 04:40 - United States - Redding

Today, after working 8 hours and immediately packing my house for another 6 hours to prepare for moving, I was extremely exhausted and more than ready to brush my teeth and go to bed. I tiredly brushed my teeth with my mascara. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 494

You deserved it 4 371

Freak out

By Anonymous - 31/05/2009 14:55 - United States

Today, I washed my face and grabbed a towel to dry it. I felt something moving down my forehead, thinking it was a drop of water. Upon looking in the mirror, I found it hadn't been a drop of water… unless the water drop had legs and was gooey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 533

You deserved it 3 967

Crash92 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 3:09

Where have you been sticking your head?

TurtleGenius 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 3:10

Pour gasoline on your eyelashes and set it on fire; that should help. FYL indeed.

Comments

loveyababe 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 23:54

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW THATS ****** NASTY

beany212 0

Monday 25 May 2009 0:14

EW SQUEAL SCREAM BARFFFF

Luna_LoveIsGood 0

Monday 25 May 2009 1:08

AAAHHH!!! now you got me all paranoid from tick season! (i fall asleep with mascara on all the time)

claudya_fml 0

Monday 25 May 2009 2:41

**** your life??? **** mine for becoming paranoid immediately going to the bathroom to do a 15 min check for ticks. and now i keep feeling itches on random parts of my body.

Lucicx0 0

Monday 25 May 2009 3:32

ticks scare me :[

Dreamlite 0

Monday 25 May 2009 4:24

That sucks hardcore ewwww

george1124 0

Monday 25 May 2009 5:51

that sucks...on the eye. but for the rest of u, having a tick is not the end of the world. i pulled off about 4 today, 2 were biting and 2 were just crawling on me. and u can just pull them off with ur fingers, then either burn them or get them on ur fingernail and squash their heads with another nail. and u cant get a disease from them if they just bite u. they have to be biting u for at least 24 hrs befor you will get a disease. and even if u do get it, just go to the doctors and get the medicine for it. if u dont, u could end up in a wheelchair.

wand3rlust 0

Monday 25 May 2009 6:02

yikes... that's scary. I hope it didn't bite you.

miscellaneousact 0

Monday 25 May 2009 6:31

i agree with number 3 just where have u been putting ur head?? also ticks *jump* fyi how could u not feel that thing on ur eyelid??? i think that its an fyl though :)