Insects, Scary and Miscellaneous: New, from Goop

New, from Goop

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, after a nap, I went to scratch my eye and felt what I presumed to be a clump of mascara on my eyelash. I didn't wear mascara today. It was a tick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 680

You deserved it 3 936

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 10/08/2010 16:34 - United States

Today, I woke up to find a tick stuck to my eyelashes. The only way I know of to get it off is with fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 457

You deserved it 6 916

Ouch!

By pickle - 20/09/2019 06:01

Today, I applied mascara directly onto my eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 201

You deserved it 538

By chelsea - 07/03/2011 22:23

Today, I found out that if you cry yourself sleep and forget to take off your mascara, your top and bottom lashes will stick together. Leaving you unable to open your eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 564

You deserved it 13 911

Hello little dude

By Anonymous - 19/05/2012 22:54 - United States

Today, I was about to get in the shower, when I felt an odd itch in my navel. I saw what I thought was bellybutton lint, so I pulled on it, and quickly realized what I had between my fingers was a still-squirming, headless tick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 574

You deserved it 2 864

By yuck - 15/11/2011 14:38 - United Kingdom

Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 020

You deserved it 17 426

By ticked - 06/10/2009 13:01 - Pakistan

Today, I was eating a packet of chips while watching TV. I saw a crumb on the table in front of me, so without thinking I picked it up and ate it. It wasn't a crumb. It was a tick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 555

You deserved it 47 991

By Ciara - 11/06/2012 20:44 - Ireland - Cork

Today, I woke up to a weird feeling on my face. Thinking it was a bug, I slapped at it. It was my freshly-inserted nose ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 286

You deserved it 35 185

Classic confusion

By Anonymous - 28/11/2023 05:00

Today, while I was shaving my nose started to itch. Guess which I shaved and which I itched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 188

Knackered

By morethanablondemoment - 28/08/2015 04:40 - United States - Redding

Today, after working 8 hours and immediately packing my house for another 6 hours to prepare for moving, I was extremely exhausted and more than ready to brush my teeth and go to bed. I tiredly brushed my teeth with my mascara. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 494

You deserved it 4 371

Freak out

By Anonymous - 31/05/2009 14:55 - United States

Today, I washed my face and grabbed a towel to dry it. I felt something moving down my forehead, thinking it was a drop of water. Upon looking in the mirror, I found it hadn't been a drop of water… unless the water drop had legs and was gooey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 533

You deserved it 3 967

Crash92 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 3:09

Where have you been sticking your head?

TurtleGenius 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 3:10

Pour gasoline on your eyelashes and set it on fire; that should help. FYL indeed.

Comments

KRD727 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 21:29

This is going to give me nightmares forever

orangekoala_66 0

Friday 5 June 2009 1:18

oh my gosh that seriously makes me want to throw up so bad and now i keep rubbing my eyes thingking there might be a tick or sumthing..thanks a lot! ewwwwwwyucky

elliekinslurvsya 0

Monday 8 June 2009 0:36

#71, it ISN'T uncommon in some places. like #65 said, if you live in the country with woods around your house and dogs, tics will show up a lot (i would know, i used to live in maryland and my whole house was surrounded by woods, and we had 2 australian cattledogs).