Insects, Scary and Miscellaneous: New, from Goop

New, from Goop

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, after a nap, I went to scratch my eye and felt what I presumed to be a clump of mascara on my eyelash. I didn't wear mascara today. It was a tick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 680

You deserved it 3 936

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 10/08/2010 16:34 - United States

Today, I woke up to find a tick stuck to my eyelashes. The only way I know of to get it off is with fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 457

You deserved it 6 916

Ouch!

By pickle - 20/09/2019 06:01

Today, I applied mascara directly onto my eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 201

You deserved it 538

By chelsea - 07/03/2011 22:23

Today, I found out that if you cry yourself sleep and forget to take off your mascara, your top and bottom lashes will stick together. Leaving you unable to open your eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 564

You deserved it 13 911

Hello little dude

By Anonymous - 19/05/2012 22:54 - United States

Today, I was about to get in the shower, when I felt an odd itch in my navel. I saw what I thought was bellybutton lint, so I pulled on it, and quickly realized what I had between my fingers was a still-squirming, headless tick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 574

You deserved it 2 864

By yuck - 15/11/2011 14:38 - United Kingdom

Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 020

You deserved it 17 426

By ticked - 06/10/2009 13:01 - Pakistan

Today, I was eating a packet of chips while watching TV. I saw a crumb on the table in front of me, so without thinking I picked it up and ate it. It wasn't a crumb. It was a tick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 555

You deserved it 47 991

By Ciara - 11/06/2012 20:44 - Ireland - Cork

Today, I woke up to a weird feeling on my face. Thinking it was a bug, I slapped at it. It was my freshly-inserted nose ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 286

You deserved it 35 185

Classic confusion

By Anonymous - 28/11/2023 05:00

Today, while I was shaving my nose started to itch. Guess which I shaved and which I itched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 188

Knackered

By morethanablondemoment - 28/08/2015 04:40 - United States - Redding

Today, after working 8 hours and immediately packing my house for another 6 hours to prepare for moving, I was extremely exhausted and more than ready to brush my teeth and go to bed. I tiredly brushed my teeth with my mascara. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 494

You deserved it 4 371

Freak out

By Anonymous - 31/05/2009 14:55 - United States

Today, I washed my face and grabbed a towel to dry it. I felt something moving down my forehead, thinking it was a drop of water. Upon looking in the mirror, I found it hadn't been a drop of water… unless the water drop had legs and was gooey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 533

You deserved it 3 967

Crash92 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 3:09

Where have you been sticking your head?

TurtleGenius 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 3:10

Pour gasoline on your eyelashes and set it on fire; that should help. FYL indeed.

Comments

bcmg44 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 18:57

Ticks attach in the weirdest places. I had a tick on my belly button once.

normandin131 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 19:50

DID IT POP IN YOUR EYE!?!?!?!

hlks 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 20:38

what the hell is a tick? :p

fmlroxmysox2470 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 20:44

woww 87 u dont get out often do you? haha but that sucks i hope u get rid of it and haha #3

hlks 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 20:49

i'm not english, i haven't heard that word before :p

gsk 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 21:43

******* nasty

speedydrumstix 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 22:16

shtoopid.

lilcuti3pi389 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 22:36

Yea that's gross. Its not normal who ever said that it is, is gross hahaha

Sami_Smiles 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 23:09

that happened to me once..i was walking under trees

Misanthropist 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 23:51

Rubbing alcohol on a Q-tip should get them out no problem.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Neighbours Awkward Wanker Lonely Halloween Jealousy Love Party Fight Family Argument Animals Cats Parents Health Embarrassing Sports Shopping Medication Birds Anger issues Weddings TikTok YouTube Pranks Dogs Cute Work AITA

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I agree, your life sucks 33 874

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