Furniture and Miscellaneous: Nice try

Nice try

By grovage - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a repairman came to fix my couch, which is under warranty because the frame had broken in multiple places. To ensure I got a new couch out of the deal, I stabbed multiple holes into the cushion. The guy fixed the frame, but said there was nothing he could do about lacerations on the sofa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 792

You deserved it 81 994

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Customized

By gss - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I pulled one of my favorite hoodies out of my closet, and immediately noticed several large stains on it. Apparently, my dad had managed to open a hole in the roof and couldn't be bothered to patch it, so a squirrel got in and used my closet as a litter box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 515

You deserved it 2 280

Boxing

By Holly - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I had to wait in a hospital room because I cut myself with a knife while trying to open a box of soda. After three stitches, I went home only to notice the box has an easy-open tab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 519

You deserved it 32 193

Suspicious

By StevieMe - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 782

You deserved it 99 808

By Anonymous - 26/08/2009 18:55 - United States

Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 862

You deserved it 4 723

Dumbass

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, we were having a little bonfire. At some point, while I was inside, my stupid roommate filled a beer can with lighter fluid and threw it in the fire, resulting in it spewing 5-foot flames, catching the pile of wood and the chair next to it on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 987

You deserved it 248

By "ztodaro" - 30/06/2017 20:00

Today, while I was inside a store, I heard a crash. Of course I ignored it because my car was parked. I paid for my items and walked out to see this. Nobody else was around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 890

You deserved it 291

Silly idea

By jameen - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Tadley

Today, whilst out shopping with my crush, I decided to jokingly try on a silly-looking dress in an overly-expensive shop. Apparently I took the wrong size as I couldn't get out. Not only did the shop assistants have to publicly cut me out of the dress, I had to pay for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 852

You deserved it 47 264

I was right all along

By 3peeps - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I came to the conclusion that I was right about thinking how much it would hurt to hit your head on a door-frame, stub your toe on a stone table leg, and then trip over your cat, who won't take it well and will probably claw your recently stubbed toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 812

You deserved it 4 059

Neil Diamond was wrong

By LucyLollipop - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I had my first glass of red wine after months of pregnancy and giving birth. Just as I sat down and started to relax, I spilled it all over myself and my in-law’s couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 270

You deserved it 937

Guilty

By jamienicole1993 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Savannah

Today, I woke up to a broken car window and a text from my ex that read, "Before you ask me, the answer is yes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 925

You deserved it 3 338

YdoIhaveAchode 4

Thursday 3 May 2012 8:02

You're stupid.

EricWill 1

Thursday 3 May 2012 8:04

Are you retarded?

Comments

yesibby760 0

Thursday 3 May 2012 8:07

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

DespairFaction 11

Thursday 3 May 2012 9:10

No way the frame on this couch is perfect just turn the cushions over. Right?

I_heart_sex 1

Friday 4 May 2012 4:27

Doh!

lalalanono 8

Thursday 3 May 2012 8:07

Why do you need a new sofa if they're able to repair your current one? Asshole scammers like you make the prices go up for everyone else.

thejewishfuhrer 17

Thursday 3 May 2012 10:38

Agreed.

gr8koolkat 6

Thursday 3 May 2012 18:10

I really don't understand people who comment 'agreed'. I mean if you agree just thumbs up the comment? :/

bfsd42 20

Thursday 3 May 2012 20:02

102, Agreed.

elk21dbm 18

Thursday 3 May 2012 23:01

I completely and wholeheartedly agree with your comment

purplemnm 9

Friday 4 May 2012 0:01

She thought they wouldn't be able to fix the frame.

melissahoefs83 2

Friday 4 May 2012 1:20

That doesn't matter it's still ignorance on her part. She deserves a broken couch now!

UnikornG33K 12

Thursday 3 May 2012 8:08

If it was under warrenty, then why the hell would you stab the cushions??

Llamacod 11

Thursday 3 May 2012 23:48

In an attempt to get a new couch, didn't you read the fml?

mandadarling 10

Thursday 3 May 2012 8:09

Prolly should have asked them when you called for repairs what their coverage was on the damages.

yesibby760 0

Thursday 3 May 2012 8:09

maybe, its time for a new couch, just maybe..

Blue_Black_fml 21

Thursday 3 May 2012 9:01

You don't say..

KnightAngela1109 10

Thursday 3 May 2012 8:10

Guess you will just have some new places to hide things

Serythvalker 7

Friday 4 May 2012 9:38

Pennies!

ByronJess 17

Thursday 3 May 2012 8:11

If you ever have the urge to complain that something is overpriced, stop and think about how it's the people like you who help to contribute to the rising costs. You're a scammer, you definitely deserved it.