Sex, Parents and Intimacy: Nooooooo! - FML

Nooooooo!

By ScarredEars - 12/08/2010 12:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 391

You deserved it 3 801

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/01/2009 16:48 - France

Spicy

Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 692

You deserved it 4 395

By Anonymous - 01/08/2019 09:00 - United States - San Diego

Spicy

Today, I caught my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been as mortifying if they weren't doing it in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 476

You deserved it 219

By GoldenTornado11 - 10/05/2017 14:00

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 141

You deserved it 559

Thin walls

By xtilltheendx - 05/10/2020 20:08 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had to have an awkward conversation with my parents when they told me they were able to hear me and my boyfriend having sex at night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 1 422

Excuse me

By Anonymous - 30/03/2015 10:30 - United States - Cincinnati

Spicy

Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 322

You deserved it 3 801

By whoawhoawhoa - 28/12/2010 22:04 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 634

You deserved it 4 984

By yourstruly - 11/02/2010 19:40 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up to the sound of someone having sex in the room next to me. I don't have a roommate. Turns out my mom thought I was out of town and used her extra key to bring a guy over for sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 714

You deserved it 2 361

Boundaries

By Anonymous - 14/10/2020 02:01

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my parents, who are in their late 50s, having sex. That's not the worst part, it's understandable; we all have needs. However, I walked in on them doing it on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 724

You deserved it 157

By Headphones - 21/07/2009 21:38 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was lying in bed, trying to sleep, when I heard my parents having sex, so I put on my headphones. After listening to music for a good long while, I figured they were done by now, so I took off the headphones just in time to hear them finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 643

You deserved it 5 707

By fmjob - 21/07/2009 04:39 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 298

You deserved it 6 253

Next

Top comments

thriceforme 3

Thursday 12 August 2010 19:16

eww

rlerke 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 19:22

you should have started farting, nothing kills the mood like a wet fart.

Comments

perdix 29

Thursday 12 August 2010 20:44

You're lucky you didn't get hit by your dad's arcing ropes of spooge . . . and/or, if your mom's a squirter, whatever her flying juice would be called. Good thing you didn't get any visual or tactile stimulation from the event . . . I'll bet the smells were inevitable.

Fichael 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 21:24

^ lol

mush_room 0

Friday 13 August 2010 3:28

you're so full of win perdix xD

zZsleeperrZz 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 21:02

sleep in the bathroom ;)

shadowsbane 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 21:05

My parents would've known I were awake by the sounds of me projectile vomiting.

adrienne421 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 21:09

omg haha

pinkizzy 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 21:10

whenever my parents do that...i join them. ;)

the_flirtt 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 21:18

wow

bubblezz0504 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 21:18

scarred.for.life.

Fmlissodamnfunny 0

Thursday 23 September 2010 2:42

Exactly what I felt when I saw your profile picture

roflinyourwaffle 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 21:18

should've filmed and sold it to a **** site.

sourgirl101 28

Thursday 12 August 2010 21:30

Those mini bar prices are a rip off! Your folks would feel like they got ****** (twice) after they see the final hotel bill.

ZachMitch1994 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 21:34

tell them to shut up ... problem solved !!

ladouche182 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 21:40

hahah! ydi for not telling them! "dad please stop ******* mom"

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The Top

Today, I got home from visiting my long-distance girlfriend. I spent $366 to get a plane ticket to visit her for the week. The day after I arrived there, she broke up with me and I had to buy a ticket for an earlier flight home. With fees and penalties, I paid around $550 to be broken up with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 711

You deserved it 5 223

Today, my parents were helping me construct my bed. We ended up not having enough screws to properly secure the frame. My dad mentioned that it might cause problems if I got a girl into my bed. My mom said, "Don't worry about it, we all know that's not going to happen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 596

You deserved it 9 210

The Top

Today, I was having a mass lecture, for 3 classes combined, all microphones muted. I wanted to go to the toilet, so I connected my headphones, and I did my job massively while listening to the teacher. Suddenly, the teacher said, "Oh, close your mic for the love of god." 85 students heard me taking a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 2 117

Today, my husband won’t stop bragging about the girl with the "model cheekbones" from the airport shuttle, who kept telling her friend in French how hot he was in front of us. Miss Model was unaware that we’re from France, and my husband’s ego might never deflate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 156

Today, at work, I was helping a customer over the phone. Another customer came and asked me a question. I let them know I'd be with them shortly. They then said "I really think you should hang up. The customer is always first." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 414

You deserved it 568

Today, I propositioned my boyfriend of two years to have sex with me in the shower to spice up our love life. He said that he was really busy. He was playing Call of Duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 008

You deserved it 6 066

Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room. She had my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 64

Today, I received some new snow boots I had ordered online. When I opened the package there was only one boot in the box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 619

You deserved it 596