Love: Not a morning person

Not a morning person

By crazybitch - 18/06/2012 04:57 - Canada - Okotoks

Today, I learned that when my girlfriend told me that she's a different person without coffee and smokes in the morning, she wasn't kidding; after I'd asked her how she'd slept, she bitched me out for "mocking her" and hurled a hairdryer at my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 009

You deserved it 4 069

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Shame on you!

By Bjax - 11/10/2017 16:00

Today, my girlfriend woke me up at 5am to tell me she was mad at me. Apparently I did something bad in her dream. She still won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 733

You deserved it 393

Never change the routine

By Anonymous - 18/10/2024 00:00 - Sweden

Today, my girlfriend and I got up, dressed, and dealt with the kids. I had to be somewhere so I poured coffee for her and me and started eating my breakfast. She got offended, refused to drink coffee with me, and has been ignoring me since. She regularly starts eating before I sit down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 72

By TwiceDaily,Kids - 06/04/2012 00:41 - United States

Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 927

You deserved it 5 123

By Anonymous - 14/06/2013 21:21 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my girlfriend got into bed with me and started fooling around. I had a terrible migraine, which she knew, so I asked her to stop because it wasn't helping. She then yelled at me for being "ungrateful" and "selfish", and accused me of secretly being gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 442

You deserved it 7 608

By RomanceFail - 02/04/2015 12:51 - United States - Crestwood

Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 041

You deserved it 3 381

By Anonymous - 20/10/2015 09:44 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 824

You deserved it 3 656

Romantic moves

By Anonymous - 11/03/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend with breakfast in bed. Instead, I spilled hot coffee all over her and the bed. We ended up spending the morning doing laundry instead of cuddling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 709

You deserved it 291

The best part of breaking up…

By Anonymous - 19/10/2009 23:51 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 045

You deserved it 8 843

Great relationship you got there…

By anon - 26/10/2022 00:00

Today, I had to blast music, turn the lights on, and physically drag my 29 year-old girlfriend out of bed to wake her up. All the while, she verbally abused me. This is the only way to wake her up, and if I don't do it, she will sleep through the day and then scream at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 149

You deserved it 513

By cj123 - 23/12/2011 08:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for breathing too much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 506

You deserved it 5 484

catanita 18

Monday 18 June 2012 12:51

So, morning sex is out of the question.

maosquare 18

Monday 18 June 2012 12:49

Well, loads of people can't go without their regular caffeine intake in the morning. I know my hands start trembling if I don't have my hot brew in the morning. It's really bad though.

Comments

Shadow_Phantom 26

Monday 18 June 2012 14:01

Well, that's what happens when people are addicted to things and don't have them... they turn batshit insane. Honestly, in my opinion, she should drop both of them. FYL.

Llama_Face89 33

Monday 18 June 2012 15:03

You make it sound so easy

Shadow_Phantom 26

Monday 18 June 2012 15:44

Yeah, it's definitely not as easy as it sounds, but it's well worth it in the end.

mikepattonfan 0

Monday 18 June 2012 14:04

I hope you jammed it in her to teach her a lesson

GothInside 6

Monday 18 June 2012 14:08

Sounds like she's using that as an excuse to cover up the fact that she's a WHACK JOB!!! I get a little grumpy in the morning if I don't get my coffee n smokes right away but throwing stuff? No, I think she might need to be medicated!