Health, Weird, Conspiracy theorist and Miscellaneous: Not a science major

Not a science major

By dumb mother - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mother yelled at me for standing too close to the microwave. Her reason? The radiation was going to seep through, kill my sperm, and cause cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 359

You deserved it 5 155

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Same thing different taste

By fml - 20/05/2010 21:32 - Canada

Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 991

You deserved it 7 610

By Todd - 14/08/2012 16:14 - United States

Today, my dad got so drunk that he had an intense argument with the microwave, resulting in him threatening to ground me after I tried to calm him down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 814

You deserved it 1 976

By Anonymous Cunt - 24/11/2012 19:38 - Netherlands - Blaricum

Today, my mom had a tantrum and screamed at me over my use of bronzer. She called me a selfish bitch and claimed that I'm somehow slowly giving myself skin cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 011

You deserved it 17 624

By imobesejk - 17/07/2011 00:19 - United States

Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 202

You deserved it 2 822

By smarterthanmymum - 26/05/2011 09:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to explain very slowly to my mum why she cannot put metal cutlery in the microwave. She did it anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 274

You deserved it 2 989

Thanks dad

By Anonymous - 19/09/2013 17:32 - Canada - Brantford

Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. My dad was having a bad day and was rude from the outset, but things went to total hell when he started screaming that he'd "kill" our microwave if it didn't "shut the hell up". My girlfriend now thinks we're a family of abusive psychos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 882

You deserved it 3 327

By Anonymous - 03/02/2016 15:29 - Australia - Hove

Today, my mum had no legitimate reason to have her daily yell at me, so she resorted to bitching me out for putting her phone on charge after it started beeping with a low battery warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 275

You deserved it 1 478

By pasquale - 20/09/2014 06:54 - Australia - Parramatta

Today, my mother threw an egg at my face with force because I returned home 5 minutes late to dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 045

You deserved it 5 631

Tantrum

By Gloria - 25/06/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, my daughter asked me for permission to go to her boyfriend’s studio apartment without any supervision to “watch a soccer game and eat pizza.” I said no because she thinks I was born yesterday. She proceeded to throw a tantrum and told me that she hopes my breast cancer kills me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 637

You deserved it 203

The blame game

By stupid child - 24/03/2023 10:00

Today, I asked my girlfriend to stop her preschooler from playing in the kitchen when I'm cooking dinner. She bitched about how I'm "controlling and micromanaging". As she did so, he put his hands on the hot oven and screamed in pain. She then shrieked that it was my fault he hurt himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 113

You deserved it 621

alaskababy907 11

Tuesday 31 January 2012 8:13

Hey, I heard that if you stand too close to the microwave you can get cancer from the radiation in those things. You should probably stay away from them...

thatgirlinoregon 21

Tuesday 31 January 2012 9:10

I wonder how much 'kimotherapy' costs? Less than chemotherapy, perhaps?

Comments

GODert 8

Wednesday 1 February 2012 0:36

You should get ball cancer you'll be able to jump on them and smoke medical weed

redhedsaysrawr 18

Wednesday 1 February 2012 1:59

and you honestly think cancer is fun? i would say YOU deserve it, but no one deserves cancer. its a scary and depressing thing to go through. honestly? if the cancer doesnt kill you, the chemo can do some serious damage to vital organs... all for some damn weed? Please... if you think weed is more important than your health, then, well... im a total lost for words...

power6053 4

Wednesday 1 February 2012 3:54

I'm in 6th grade and I know a microwave produces microwaves from the magnetron making water vibrate and causing friction to hear your food and what not. Thus your argument is invalid.

SpeakOutLoud 1

Wednesday 1 February 2012 4:23

That stuff can cause cancer moron!

artmastr 0

Wednesday 1 February 2012 4:27

My dad told my little sister once to keep her nose off the glass because she was going to die of cancer then he told me a few days later it was fine because he didn't care as much.

AnnaPhase 0

Wednesday 1 February 2012 4:43

It's true. :/

yeongji 31

Wednesday 1 February 2012 5:55

I heard something about the radiation before and because of it, I do not stand next to the microwave either. Whether that is true or not, I don't care. I still won't stand next to it because microwaves can explode. Not all of them do and you do not necessarily have to put the wrong object in for it to explode, but I have heard stories of them exploding before. It does not hurt to not stand next to it either way. It is not like your body heat will make your food heat it up faster anyway.