Painful and Health: Nuts

Nuts

By Painful - 05/10/2009 04:16 - United States

Today, I was sitting around a bonfire when an ember landed on my crotch. Without thinking, I quickly slapped at it and hit myself square in the nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 924

You deserved it 39 999

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Same thing different taste

By lageste - 20/11/2008 04:37 - France

Today, while I was out, I was having a drink with a pretty girl. She started looking at my crotch and said, smiling, "There's something burning down there." I smiled, but she insisted. Ashes had set my trousers on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 190

You deserved it 5 325

By crayons128 - 24/01/2011 06:13 - United States

Today, I was at a fire roasting marshmallows. When mine caught on fire, I pulled it back so I could blow out the flames. It flew off the stick, and, still flaming, landed on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 052

You deserved it 6 601

Nutfirecracker

By Akashi - 22/07/2020 14:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the couch and his legs were on my lap. We heard a loud firework from somewhere outside our window, we both jumped and I felt the pain of him kicking me in the nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 274

You deserved it 449

In pain

By Khail Lozano - 02/04/2022 00:00

Today, I was making my bed and had an armload of pillows. One slipped and I tried to catch it between my arm and leg. I missed, sending my fist into my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 744

You deserved it 260

By person - 26/12/2010 17:59 - Jordan

Today, I was applying some Icy Hot to my sore thighs, when I accidentally got a little on my dime sacks. For the next hour, it felt like someone had lit a match under my plums. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 922

You deserved it 28 340

Wakey wakey

By sacked - 22/02/2010 19:51 - United States

Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 368

You deserved it 24 017

By ericane27 - 27/12/2011 19:53 - United States

Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 362

You deserved it 5 853

Close but no cigar

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 23:26

Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 607

You deserved it 15 134

By jrocks - 19/05/2009 17:06 - United States

Today, as I was watching a DVD, I noticed a spider crawling on my crotch area. So, I panicked and smashed the spider, smashing my nuts in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 881

You deserved it 70 625

By chaoticnh - 24/06/2011 09:57 - Austria

Today, I found out how it feels to have my groin catch fire due to a magic trick going wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 221

You deserved it 12 615

skiz_fml 0

Monday 5 October 2009 12:11

This isnt an FYL or a YDI. Thats just ******* funny.

Zapzip2013 0

Monday 5 October 2009 13:48

in soviet Russia crotch hits you

Comments

taylordianex04 0

Tuesday 6 October 2009 0:14

is this anthony barbano ?! (:

Hourglass_fml 0

Tuesday 6 October 2009 1:20

Owned!!!

yme 0

Tuesday 6 October 2009 2:48

its like the south park when Jimmy has a dream he gets a giant erection, wakes up and punches himself in the crotch

danielw 0

Tuesday 6 October 2009 2:55

can someone tell me why he deserved this, please?

arty191 0

Tuesday 6 October 2009 4:15

ahhh funny =)

Yawn823 0

Tuesday 6 October 2009 4:51

lol classic XD

royboh 0

Tuesday 6 October 2009 6:50

Better than a burn.

doof_fisch 2

Tuesday 6 October 2009 7:06

Puts me in a Christmas mood: "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire...."

basketballbrian 0

Wednesday 7 October 2009 3:19

hahahaha funny stuff

sux_2_b_you 0

Wednesday 7 October 2009 6:49

YDI for saying crotch

Keywords

Miscellaneous Neighbours Awkward Halloween Wanker Lonely Jealousy Love Party Family Argument Fight Animals Cats Parents Health Embarrassing Sports Shopping Medication Birds Anger issues Weddings TikTok YouTube Pranks Dogs Cute AITA Work

The Top

Today, I found out my mom has been randomly searching my room. I've asked her repeatedly to stop, but she says it's her right as a parent. In retaliation I started searching their room when they were out, and found porn mags and DVDs. I confronted mom about it. Long story short, dad's in a hotel. What have I done?! FML

I agree, your life sucks 300

You deserved it 613

Today, I made roast beef with mashed potatoes and green beans for dinner. My 8-year-old daughter was crying and gagging the whole time, and eventually said between sobs, "Can't you just beat me and send me to bed hungry instead?" I have no clue where she got that idea from. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 246

You deserved it 459

The Top

Today, I got back to work. Last week, my divorce was finalized and my last name is, once again, my maiden name. Since I'm a teacher, all my students will remember me by my ex-husband's last name. I get to be reminded every day that my marriage failed until everyone memorizes my maiden name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 102

You deserved it 4 088

Today, it might be the day I ask my wife to peg me. Hope it goes well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 1 269

Today, I excitedly showed my new roommate my pet fish. She then told me about how she purposely starved her last fish to see how long it would take before they started eating each other before starving to death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 467

You deserved it 3 015

Today, I was told to go fuck myself twice because I asked people to wear masks. Only a month and a half of this left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 328

Today, I asked my girlfriend if she has ever had an affair. She replied, "Yes. With you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 250

You deserved it 7 368

Today, I tried to be a responsible adult and went to bed early. I woke up at 3 a.m. and couldn't fall back asleep, so I binge-watched a whole season of a show on Netflix. It was a terrible fucking show as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 271