Intimacy: Oh, hai Mark! - FML

Oh, hai Mark!

By hi Mum - 11/12/2013 19:59 - United States - North Charleston

Spicy

Today, I learned that just because you live on a different continent, it doesn't mean your mother won't come knocking when you are having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 321

You deserved it 5 202

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Same thing different taste

Fair warning

By Alwayshappens2me - 17/07/2009 23:09 - United States

Spicy

Today, I learned that even when you put a sock on the door because you are having sex with your boyfriend, it doesn't mean your mom won't walk into your brand new apartment for a "surprise visit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 443

You deserved it 10 516

By ikungfuyou - 27/12/2011 07:11 - United States

Spicy

Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me whacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 724

You deserved it 10 244

Not now, mother!

By Anonymous - 19/06/2022 04:00 - United States - Sayville

Spicy

Today, after nearly two months of no sex, I got cockblocked by an unexpected visit by my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 062

You deserved it 201

By MarMar - 15/03/2009 20:47 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 596

You deserved it 17 308

Privacy

By Anonymous - 25/11/2023 22:00 - Germany

Spicy

Today, I’m 20 and my mom is well aware I’m having sex. Nonetheless, this morning when my boyfriend was going down on me under the covers, she marched into my room without knocking, dumped a load of wet laundry on my sofa, and walked back out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 464

By yourstruly - 11/02/2010 19:40 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up to the sound of someone having sex in the room next to me. I don't have a roommate. Turns out my mom thought I was out of town and used her extra key to bring a guy over for sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 713

You deserved it 2 361

Unwanted guest

By MMM - 21/01/2014 23:26 - United States - Saco

Spicy

Today, my plans for having sex with my girlfriend were thwarted for the sixth time in a row by my own mother. I found out later that she's been reading my texts so she knew when to drop by and ruin everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 576

You deserved it 11 473

So good

By shelby124 - 15/08/2012 16:31 - United States - York

Spicy

Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 116

You deserved it 39 911

By glittercat - 26/01/2009 23:44 - United States

Spicy

Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 261

You deserved it 3 323

Thanks mom

By Anonymous - 14/02/2021 14:01 - Colombia

Spicy

Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 041

You deserved it 108

Next

Top comments

luke_nylan 7

Thursday 12 December 2013 0:23

Mum: *flies plane to the continent you live on* Mum: are you guys having sex? Mum: *flies back*

nikkon416 13

Thursday 12 December 2013 0:21

Did you put a sock on the door?

Comments

Josickle 8

Thursday 12 December 2013 4:33

On the plus side, at least she knocked!

tukies 28

Thursday 12 December 2013 4:49

This FML scares me a little. Four hours away may not be enough, nor the gates... I love my mum and all, but I hope she never decides to do a surprise visit.

jh921971 10

Thursday 12 December 2013 5:43

Ladies and gents, the "helicopter mom".

dumscivisti 12

Thursday 12 December 2013 8:32

it's like they have a sixth sense...

WeAreAHurricane 14

Thursday 12 December 2013 9:12

Mom: the ultimate transcontinental clockblock

bushada 18

Thursday 12 December 2013 9:37

Your mother has spidey senses.

wodenlord 11

Thursday 12 December 2013 10:00

Surprise!!!

p_nafnaf_fml 12

Thursday 12 December 2013 13:31

Guess who is here ? I had a feeling that you are having some naughty moments so I told myself let's check her out ^^

mxij 13

Thursday 12 December 2013 13:42

Wow, that is one dedicated mom with bad timing

Ashnella0523 0

Thursday 12 December 2013 13:43

I feel your pain! my mother in law has spidey senses too! she has a knack for calling every darn time we attempt to have sex

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The Top

Today, my husband threw up in the shower after drinking almost a whole bottle of wine. The shower won't drain now. Happy Thanksgiving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 180

You deserved it 2 948

Today, I invited my mom over for lunch so we could discuss how she broke my trust while she last babysat for me, and that as a result she won’t be babysitting for a little while. She then yelled at me and told me I was being disrespectful and dramatic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 110

The Top

Today, I got rear ended. The guy flashed his lights at me to pull over, so I pulled into the side of the road. He drove away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 823

You deserved it 204

Today, I worked up the courage to tell my girlfriend that I love her. She made a face like she'd just sucked on a lemon and said, "Um... yay, I guess...?" and awkwardly left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 343

You deserved it 3 036

Today, my husband and I were fighting over money. As we were arguing, our 13 year-old daughter stole $250 dollars from my purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 047

You deserved it 14 893

Today, I was talking to my good friend's girlfriend. She mentioned being afraid of losing her job. Because she was still a teenager, I jokingly said, "Oh, like you're responsible for a whole family!" She is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 095

You deserved it 51 273

Today, it was my first day at the fire station. Naturally, we all went out and got lunch together. I normally don't handle spicy food well, but sucked it up. About ten minutes after we finished, I got up to do rookie duties when someone slapped me in the back. I forcefully vomited all over my new Lieutenant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 155

You deserved it 5 109

Today, an angry customer threw her sticky toffee pudding at the wall and pointed out that because it didn't stick, it was not really a "sticky" toffee pudding, and that she'd been mislead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 274

You deserved it 3 277