On the sauce

By drinkdrankdrunk - 27/09/2013 07:33 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I woke up from a night of heavy drinking to find my girlfriend dumped me. Apparently I drunk-called her last night and told her that someone as beautiful as her could be with someone way better than me. She agreed. FML
I agree, your life sucks 44 264
You deserved it 17 921
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Top comments

BntyHntrSeattle 30

Drunk call her back so you have an excuse to call her a stupid bitch.

185 13
autinyork 6

Lol I once did that. Jk, what's a girlfriend?

97 9

Comments

every1luvsboners 11

She's been trying to get rid of you for a long time and finally found an out. Move on and find an ugly woman who knows how to cook.

8 18
jrock9093 18

I want to say sorry but maybe you shouldn't drink so much and also if she is breaking up with you just for you saying that she's not worth it anyways bro

4 10
olpally 32

Drunken words are sober thoughts. What a bitch though.

6 16
cakefete2 30

Unfortunately, OP, in wine there is truth.

1 11
CallMeMcFeelii 13

I'm guessing it probably came out more like, "Hey! Hey! Can you hear me!? Hey! I'm ******* wasteddd.. Jimmy stop poking me! I'm on the ******* phone with my girl. Hey! Hey babe! You're so god damn beautiful. I don't, I don't know why your with, damn I am so drunk.. Babe! You're so beautiful you shouldn't be with me because I'm so ******* drunk right now!" At least that's how most drunk calls go.. Haha.

58 4
cakefete2 30

I don't always let alcohol give me relationship advice, but when i do, i prefer dos equis.

3 9
TheDrifter 23

Time to find a thick, confident woman with some cooking skills OP. She'll know if you're treating her right, not as many men will be trying to steal her away as the Barbie doll type, plus you'll have a good reason to rush home every night... Dinner.

2 19
ifavela89 13

why do you assume all big women can cook. I'm thin love cooking and would never treat my man the way she did. she didn't know to take a compliment the dumb bimbo

5 10
Dynosaur_dollie 38

They didn't say skinny girls couldn't cook or assume that all bigger girls can cook, they said find one that has some culinary skill, I doubt they were being completely serious anyways. Plus as was previously mentioned she may have had enough of op, for all we know this could be a very common occurrence he could be a total jerk, nice to assume she's a bimbo though.

5 0
DFresh503 8

Wait... So you basically just **** blocked yourself? Alcohol wins again!

10 2
starile 19

^ Yeeaap, that's more likely how it happened! Bitches LOVE drunk calls when their man is out having fun without them!

28 2
Slavgaard 16

Drink, drank, drunk, dumped.

10 0