Health: Ouch

Ouch

By beateneggs - 02/03/2010 19:57 - United States

Today, while shopping with my mother, she handed me a frozen turkey to put in the cart, but ended up swinging it into my nuts instead. I feel like a giant battered eggplant, and I think I'm now impotent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 433

You deserved it 3 433

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Same thing different taste

By emeraldarcher74 - 19/11/2016 18:34 - United States - Lake Stevens

Today, my mother made me a delicious meal of gravy, stuffing, mashed and sweet potatoes, and cranberries. Overjoyed, I tried to give her a hug. Instead, I accidentally punched her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 269

You deserved it 1 349

Violence is never the answer

By Anonymous - 04/06/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my coworker warned me that if I made one more dad joke, she’d belt me with a frying pan. Alas, I did not believe her capable of such violence, which is why I now sit here with a bag of frozen peas pressed to the 3-inch lump on the back of my head. Plus she was sacked, so now I feel horribly guilty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 960

You deserved it 703

By beleria - 23/04/2012 22:41 - United States

Today, I went grocery shopping. As I was leaning in to pick up some produce, someone viciously slapped me on the butt. I whirled around and nobody was anywhere in sight. Now I'm starting to worry that I'm losing my mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 241

You deserved it 2 892

By Jeff - 02/08/2019 04:00 - United States

Today, after a stay at the hospital for two broken legs, I finally got home and attempted to relax. My dad went to hand me the remote and dropped it right on my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 652

You deserved it 140

By Anonymous - 23/11/2017 01:30

Today, I took a well-aimed TV remote to the testicles. My wife’s pregnancy cravings are really bad and I forgot to restock the cupboard with apricot jam and packets of sage and onion stuffing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 490

You deserved it 780

By bbbkingsey - 23/07/2009 07:10 - United States

Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 886

You deserved it 4 373

In pain

By Khail Lozano - 02/04/2022 00:00

Today, I was making my bed and had an armload of pillows. One slipped and I tried to catch it between my arm and leg. I missed, sending my fist into my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 744

You deserved it 262

By pasquale - 20/09/2014 06:54 - Australia - Parramatta

Today, my mother threw an egg at my face with force because I returned home 5 minutes late to dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 050

You deserved it 5 632

By Anonymous - 21/11/2015 21:12 - United States - Rockville

Today, I sliced my finger on a frozen chicken cutlet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 720

You deserved it 2 794

By Eggs - 15/11/2013 05:00 - United States - Port Richey

Today, I fell down in the street when a speeding car chucked a hard-boiled egg at my butt. While I waited for the feeling in my legs to return, they came back and threw more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 096

You deserved it 3 150

JojoBrown520 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 23:38

giant battered eggplant? O.o

jennacide 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 23:35

Thats what you get for trying to do a womans job! jk :)

Comments

shadaboo2014 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 0:26

omg calm ur nut sac grl!

TrollHunter 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 0:31

That sucks man are they PURPLE(:

caittycat95 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 6:31

oooh my fav colour lol

faithsmom 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 0:38

that would be painful but im sorry impotent is not able to get an erection, sterile is unable to have kids

quikwit1212 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 0:52

Actually, impotent, I believe, just means weak sperm. You may be able to have kids, but you probably won't.

faithsmom 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 1:06

no impotent is not being able to get an erect penis, didnt health class teach you anything

quikwit1212 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 3:55

Also, Erectyle disfunction is the inability to get erections( without some trouble, at least).

Kurai_tenshi 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 0:47

hahahahahahahaha...hahahahahahahaha!!!

quikwit1212 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 0:49

TrollHunter 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 0:56

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Sun_Kissed18 25

Wednesday 3 March 2010 0:59

I love how there were no words in the post above me haha

schnitzel5 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 1:00

it's ok you'll be able to have kids in 3 years

airborn54 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 1:00

I got field goaled in the nuts when I was little and i can promise you that I'm still potent,so don't worry about it

Auberginez 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 1:01

eggplants r lovely :) :P

Keywords

Awkward Sleep Miscellaneous Television Love Weddings Money Annoying Transportation Relatable Snow Kids Family Pregnancy Mental health Empathy Toxic Food Gamers Argument Cats Animals Valentine's Day Gross Health Homeowners Home improvement Babysitter Drugs Music

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 1 236

You deserved it 190

Today, I saw my ex, who had dumped me for not being “ambitious” enough. I'd said she was just a gold digger and would die alone. She looked amazing at the fanciest, most expensive restaurant in town, and was celebrating being made partner at her law firm. I was bussing tables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 698

The Top

Today, I went to see my favorite band. It was all amazing and great until I decided to go crowd surfing. I was maybe too heavy because people jumped away instead of catching me. I fell right on my tailbone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 698

You deserved it 32 367

Today, I can’t sleep because the moon is full. No, wait, that’s actually the floodlight from the neighboring farm shining in my window. Apparently, they thought it a good idea to hook the thing up to a motion detector, so the cats and mice can play disco lights at midnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 926

You deserved it 86

Today, I was walking in the mall with my friends when one of them pointed at a store and commented, "Bae Goals." My fat ass thought she said "bagels" and I actually got excited at the thought of eating a bagel, even after I realized my mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 549

You deserved it 484

Today, my husband's 70-year-old uncle came for a visit. Since we only have 2 bedrooms, we set him up in our daughter's room. Later, I glanced into the room and saw him masturbating in her bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 990

You deserved it 2 816

Today, I was sitting in the cafeteria with my friends when I suddenly passed out due to my hypoglycemia. When I woke up, I discovered that I was still in the same spot and my friends had abandoned me to go to class. Also, my stuff was stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 827

You deserved it 2 849

Today, my ex gave me a heartwarming speech about how much he wanted me back. After talking for hours and me finally wanting to get back together too, he started mentioning a date he has with a cute colleague. Conclusion: he wants to get back together, but still be able to fuck the entire world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 070

You deserved it 4 466

Ouch

Same thing different taste

Violence is never the answer

In pain

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