TV shows and Miscellaneous: Parasocial

Parasocial

By NotJessePinkmanFFS - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Norwalk

Today, my 43-year-old brother's obsession with Breaking Bad reached a new level of stupidity when he nearly got us beaten up by a bunch of meth-heads down by our local park. He went up to them with his shaved head and stupid hat, and tried to act all Walter White with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 088

You deserved it 2 368

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High times

By Anonymous - 03/04/2023 00:00

Today, I got a call from my brother, saying he was losing his mind at work and did not feel well. I went to pick him up. Turns out he decided to try weed for the first time at work and was high AF. Now I'm the little brother babysitting a 35 year-old man child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 935

You deserved it 109

By an idiot - 16/02/2013 18:03 - Australia

Today, my brother was arrested for starting a fistfight at a funeral. He didn't even know the deceased; he's just been crashing funerals recently, hoping to hook up with mourners. I'm not sure who's more pathetic: him for doing such a thing, or me for bailing his fucking dumb arse out of jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 011

You deserved it 7 832

Party animal

By Toto - 25/08/2021 14:01

Today, my brother was asking why I'm mad at him. Not a big deal, if we and our friends weren't now banned from a pub, all because he got shitfaced, started smoking weed and stripping off in public, even though marijuana wasn't allowed at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 820

You deserved it 92

By Yo Mr. White! ... BETCH! - 23/10/2012 22:47 - United States - Imperial Beach

Today, I realized I'm so desperate for money that I started to watch Breaking Bad to learn how to make meth. I stopped, not because I decided it was a bad idea, but because it looks too hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 107

You deserved it 29 535

Tone police

By Firstborn - 16/05/2017 19:00 - Canada - Halifax

Today, I got into a major fight with my parents over my younger brother stealing from me. Their response was to get angry at me for my "tone" with them. My brother is 18 with an obvious drug problem, but my tone is the problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 277

You deserved it 274

By Bec - 25/07/2011 14:10 - Australia

Today, the police were canvassing my neighbourhood about a recent robbery. When I answered the door, my brother saw badges, panicked, and jumped out our apartment's third-storey window in an attempt to escape. He thought they were after him for using a bong two weeks ago. I'm related to this twit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 432

You deserved it 3 605

By WaltTheFuckDad - 01/09/2013 23:06 - United States - Salida

Today, my dad tore my room apart for the second time, looking for drug-making equipment. His reasoning is that I must be dealing drugs, because I'm a chemistry major who likes to watch Breaking Bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 385

You deserved it 3 609

By yeah_im_mad_bro - 24/09/2011 00:32 - Canada

Today, it's been a week since my little brother took up his new hobby of posting "cool story, bro" in reply to almost every Facebook status and comment that I make. Not only do I already want to smash his face against a brick wall, my parents will ground me if I defriend any family members. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 210

You deserved it 5 467

By that's methed up, darling - 16/08/2013 21:33 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 880

You deserved it 6 087

Hustle culture

By Anonymous - 02/07/2024 05:00 - Canada

Today, my brother has decided to hustle hate groups. Everyone, including the police, think he's some sort of Robin Hood. I wouldn't have a problem with this, except he's trying to recruit people. Any day now we're going to be attacked by Nazis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 136

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 10 September 2012 15:55

Perhaps this will break him of a bad habit.

theslimshadylp 6

Monday 10 September 2012 15:59

Best show on television. Who doesn't want to be like Walter White? He's a badass.

Comments

someone3225 2

Tuesday 11 September 2012 6:18

No he can't be like Walter White, because there is only one Walter White

tamarstep 2

Tuesday 11 September 2012 6:56

omg...i keep on reading and cant stop laughing! You're brother needs a job or a new hobby! lmao

tamarstep 2

Tuesday 11 September 2012 7:22

whats next for your brother...city hunter? lmao

mikef6919 3

Wednesday 12 September 2012 0:42

That's awesome!

mccutie936 6

Wednesday 12 September 2012 4:53

That's so great you have no idea.

The_F3rris 11

Wednesday 12 September 2012 14:45

Rule number 1. Meth heads and non-meth heads should never cross paths. You'll thank me for this advice later.

Give_Linux_A_Go 28

Saturday 6 April 2013 16:48

but... then there would be no Breaking Bad...

SacredOath 3

Thursday 13 September 2012 6:31

I am the danger!

wiredream 0

Friday 14 September 2012 5:42

oh boy he's one of those who think Breaking Bad glorifies drugs.

NOLO24 1

Friday 14 September 2012 22:30

Well maybe it didn't work cause he didn't have jesse to back him up?

Give_Linux_A_Go 28

Saturday 6 April 2013 16:49

I wonder if this is the chemistry teacher...

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I agree, your life sucks 11

You deserved it 13

Today, I heard my next door neighbour screaming as if someone was trying to slice her throat. Her window was open. Intrigued, I went onto my balcony and asked if everything was okay, and if she needed anything. She and her boyfriend shouted back in unison: "We're fucking! Go away!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 076

You deserved it 8 201

The Top

Today, after parking my car, I was informed by an incredibly hot girl that my tail light was faulty. I tried hitting it to make it work again. Guess who has 5 stitches and a smashed tail light? FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 778

You deserved it 36 074

Today, I invaded my boyfriend’s privacy by looking through his phone. I read the texts between him and his mom. I realized his mom is the worst. Then I realized I’m exactly like his mom. I told my boyfriend what I did, and called him weird for dating his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 2 249

Today, I witnessed a man die from a heart attack. When I told my dad later, he said "Lose some weight or you'll be next." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 250

You deserved it 5 368

Today, my girlfriend and I walked to her couch while kissing with our eyes closed. Stumbling, we reached the couch and dropped our bodies, her on top of me. What I didn't know was that her kitty, Elvis, was napping. Elvis was very angry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 94

Today, I went to set up for the first time the wedding tent we'd purchased, two days before the wedding, to discover one of the seven boxes was a pink light up Christmas tree and not the tent's canopy. Thanks Bed Bath & Beyond. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 259

Today, we had a new babysitter coming over to the house and my kids were a bit anxious, so I asked her to send me a message telling me how it went. At around 10, I received a message saying, “it’s going alright. Both kids are in bed.” I have three children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 540

You deserved it 455