Transportation, Cars, Accident and Animals: Pile on - FML

Pile on

By turtle - 12/07/2011 13:26 - United States

Today, I saw a turtle on the road so I swerved, and hit a tree. The people behind me then hit the turtle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 618

You deserved it 12 685

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By vstan - 25/08/2010 00:48 - United States

Today, I swerved off the road and hit a tree in order to avoid hitting a dog that came out of nowhere. Don't worry, I didn't hit him. The person behind me did, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 481

You deserved it 5 120

By RestlessDiesel - 18/04/2016 14:40 - United States - Hudson

Today, I pulled off the road to help a turtle cross it. Before I could get out of my car a dump truck ran over the turtle, splattering my car with turtle guts and bits of shell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 078

You deserved it 1 838

Road rage

By Xtine - 23/06/2009 04:44 - United States

Today, while on the road, I saw a turtle in the middle of the other lane. I slammed on my brakes and got out, holding up, and pissing off, several drivers on both sides of the highway. Getting closer to the turtle, I realized that it was not a turtle at all, but a very large pile of dog shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 618

You deserved it 46 322

By Username - 15/05/2011 06:42 - United States

Today, while driving my new car, a squirrel ran in front of me so I slammed on my brakes. The person behind me didn't notice and rear-ended me. The squirrel got hit by a car going the opposite direction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 462

You deserved it 18 088

By karmavictim - 18/03/2011 11:28

Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel, and in the process hit another squirrel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 103

You deserved it 10 934

By Bambi - 12/08/2009 06:49 - United States

Today, I crashed my car. I saw a deer getting ready to run into the middle of the road, and I was very sleepy, so I panicked and slammed on the brakes, causing me to lose control of the car on the wet road. After I hit a tree, I realized that the deer was a plastic lawn ornament. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 197

You deserved it 46 189

By newly passed, newly grassed - 06/12/2014 17:04 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, while driving home, I swerved to avoid turning a duck and her babies into roadkill. Another car was coming around a sharp bend at the time and swerved to avoid hitting me. In the end, we both ran our cars off the road, and he took out several ducks in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 130

You deserved it 8 397

By JulieClaire - 11/03/2011 01:44

Today, while driving home I saw a few deer running beside me. I stopped to let them go in front. Instead, one face-plants, ramming into the side of my new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 155

You deserved it 4 810

By Anonymous - 10/10/2010 04:29 - United States

Today, I swerved to miss hitting a kitten, over-corrected, hit and killed the cat, and totaled my truck by hitting a parked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 498

You deserved it 13 893

By riddick0846 - 12/12/2010 07:29 - United States

Today, I accidentally ran over a squirrel on the road. I was late for work so I didn't stop. Later, someone keyed the word PETA into the side of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 811

You deserved it 13 185

Next

Top comments

cavalos94 0

Tuesday 12 July 2011 18:45

yeah poor turtle

zekecastro 0

Tuesday 12 July 2011 18:48

Franklin!!!! you will be missed in kiddy shows. R.I.P Franklin.

Comments

seeunexttuesdays 6

Tuesday 12 July 2011 19:22

one ninja turtle down, three more to go! just kidding!

seeunexttuesdays 6

Tuesday 12 July 2011 19:22

one ninja turtle down, three more to go! just kidding!

OkayImSorry 0

Tuesday 12 July 2011 19:24

I don't give a shit if I die. You act like I care.

demoreice 0

Tuesday 12 July 2011 19:30

I want to hear the turtle's side :(

Dodie__fml 2

Tuesday 12 July 2011 19:32

Is the tree ok?

HannahForbesxo 13

Tuesday 12 July 2011 19:33

A good deed never goes unpunished.

bibble8 0

Tuesday 12 July 2011 19:34

sorry to break it to you, but turtles live in water...

3yellowzebras 19

Tuesday 12 July 2011 20:04

I was looking for the first person to point this fact out! well done :-) I'm guessing OP meant tortoise?

3yellowzebras 19

Tuesday 12 July 2011 20:04

I was looking for the first person to point this fact out! well done :-) I'm guessing OP meant tortoise?

Ugi 26

Tuesday 12 July 2011 20:42

I think this is a British English vs American English issue - in American, apparently, "turtle" is used for both land and sea-dwelling animals.

ReynshineCutting 10

Tuesday 12 July 2011 21:59

It's also possible that it was a turtle crossing the road. I used to have 2 pet turtles that I found. The first I found in the grass in my yard and the other was in our pool. We see them in the road all the time so it's definitely possible.

Dodie__fml 2

Thursday 14 July 2011 6:25

they have legs for a reason

SGT_DBL 15

Tuesday 12 July 2011 19:36

You don't swerve to avoid small animals in the road because there is a greater chance of causing an accident by doing that than there is of saving the animal. As evidence of this fact, I present you with your smashed car and one smashed turtle. YDI OP.

typark123 7

Tuesday 12 July 2011 19:38

wow this is the safest FML because I think I've seen this story like at lest 20 times get your own story !! ughh

Bobissmall 13

Tuesday 12 July 2011 19:44

Why should 43 have to be joking? Some turtles do only live in water. Easy mistake to make.

4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids Family DIY Cats Sex Roommate Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, one of my 5-year-old son's teeth fell out, but he's quite scatterbrained and he lost it. He did however find my vibrating duck under my pillow, and is now crying because he thinks that I stole his tooth so that the tooth fairy would bring me a toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 144

You deserved it 7 104

Today, my girlfriend got into a huge fight with her mom over the phone. After the fight, she looked ready to cry so I went over to comfort her. She went straight past me, and started confiding in her creepy, extremely expensive dolls instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 874

You deserved it 3 148

The Top

Today, my boss was fired by the board. A few days ago, he dropped several strong hints that he was going to promote me soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 445

You deserved it 3 522

Today, while in a pharmacy, I walked over to the shaving cream aisle. I picked up a can to smell it and unknowingly pushed the button, spraying an old guy in front of me. He freaked out and started telling everyone that the ceiling above him was leaking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 524

You deserved it 17 432

Today, I learned that when my girlfriend always says she's been at "Alex's house", she hasn't meant the house of her friend Alexis, but rather the house of the man she has been cheating on me with. She literally told me she was cheating on me and still managed to avoid getting caught. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 238

You deserved it 1 503

Today, after looking back at our high school photos, I told my fiancée I’ve been scared lately that I’m getting uglier with age, and that I was much prettier back then. He got really quiet, and then agreed with me.. I’m only 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 832

You deserved it 276

Today, after worrying for years about grinding my teeth after various dentists mentioned seeing evidence. Apparently, this worry manifested as subconsciously putting my tongue in the way at night, to the point where I have an open bite at 39 when I never had a problem before. I can't bite through sushi or sandwiches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738

You deserved it 115

Today, my new room-mate moved in. She spent over an hour obsessively searching the place for god knows what kind of secret recording devices, and now aggressively demands that I taste-test all of her pre-prepared meals to make sure they're not poisoned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 122

You deserved it 2 988