Sex and Intimacy: Precaution

Precaution

By Tai - 31/10/2010 13:30 - Australia

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for coming inside her because she didn't want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 575

You deserved it 9 940

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Same thing different taste

I don't understand!

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 18:00 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 976

You deserved it 632

By ottawaaa - 27/01/2009 22:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 162

You deserved it 10 853

By fuckmuppeter512 - 04/01/2014 22:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 845

You deserved it 8 696

Some people are so... creative.

By Anonymous - 17/02/2018 06:00

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's pregnant. She'd told me she was on birth control, so I asked her to show me. She had been sticking the pills up her vagina like a suppository. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 410

You deserved it 1 586

Yeet it

By Anonymous - 22/05/2020 05:00

Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend is on the pill, and even though my girlfriend took emergency contraception, she became pregnant days after the first time we had sex without a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 356

You deserved it 1 148

Wrap it up

By Anonymous - 03/09/2023 14:00

Today, the one time, THE ONE TIME, we ran out of condoms and had sex anyway, my girlfriend got pregnant, even though she’s on the pill. I didn’t even orgasm inside her, I had to do a Google search to learn that live sperm can emerge and go inside her even before I orgasm. We are so screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 240

You deserved it 764

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2012 22:58 - United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 764

You deserved it 1 791

It's a trap!

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2009 22:58 - United States

I agree, your life sucks 636 782

You deserved it 798 446

By Anonymous - 20/06/2009 11:13 - Switzerland

Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 803

You deserved it 97 678

Not my turn

By Perry85 - 10/12/2019 05:00

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she says "Don't cum in me, my husband has plans for later." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 262

You deserved it 1 012

perdix 29

Sunday 31 October 2010 19:19

You're going to have shitty kids.

Paramorefan2 1

Sunday 31 October 2010 19:16

wow. that sucks. she's stupid.

Comments

BrotherThomas 0

Monday 1 November 2010 5:28

this isn't that bad. 1. girls' intelligence is overrated. all they should do is cook, clean, and be there to have sex with. 2. if ever you get bored of her, she's not that smart, so an affair would be pretty easy to get away with. 3. some of my bros are obsessed with anal (haven't tried it myself, but that's b/c Im someone who cant even imagine a girl pooping) so if youre one of those guys and your gf does anal, you're a lucky man. (first two points are obvious jokes, don't hate)

silvrdragn13 8

Monday 1 November 2010 5:41

wow. time for a smarter gf.

tnglator 4

Monday 1 November 2010 5:51

so what ur saying is shes the dumbest bitch alive?

omfgitsbug 0

Monday 1 November 2010 5:54

is she really that stupid?

bob4tehwin 0

Monday 1 November 2010 6:09

wow fail! btw, for those people who say you can get a woman pregnant even with anal... no. if anything, your knowledge is on par with OP's girl.

noaige 6

Monday 1 November 2010 19:48

it is not physically possible. unless the sperm goes into the ******, IT IS NOT POSSIBLE!

Iluv2D_fml 0

Monday 1 November 2010 6:16

Hilarious and utterly disgusting and stupid all @ the same time. Amazing she can't tell which hole is which and the fact that not all babies are brown and are born in a toilet.