Sex and Intimacy: Precaution

Precaution

By Tai - 31/10/2010 13:30 - Australia

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for coming inside her because she didn't want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 575

You deserved it 9 940

Back to School: Quiproquos and Notebooks
Laugh at back-to-school mishaps, with dazed students and overwhelmed teachers! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

I don't understand!

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 18:00 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 976

You deserved it 634

By ottawaaa - 27/01/2009 22:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 163

You deserved it 10 853

By fuckmuppeter512 - 04/01/2014 22:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 845

You deserved it 8 696

Some people are so... creative.

By Anonymous - 17/02/2018 06:00

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's pregnant. She'd told me she was on birth control, so I asked her to show me. She had been sticking the pills up her vagina like a suppository. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 410

You deserved it 1 586

Yeet it

By Anonymous - 22/05/2020 05:00

Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend is on the pill, and even though my girlfriend took emergency contraception, she became pregnant days after the first time we had sex without a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 356

You deserved it 1 148

Wrap it up

By Anonymous - 03/09/2023 14:00

Today, the one time, THE ONE TIME, we ran out of condoms and had sex anyway, my girlfriend got pregnant, even though she’s on the pill. I didn’t even orgasm inside her, I had to do a Google search to learn that live sperm can emerge and go inside her even before I orgasm. We are so screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 241

You deserved it 766

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2012 22:58 - United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 1 792

It's a trap!

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2009 22:58 - United States

I agree, your life sucks 636 784

You deserved it 798 452

By Anonymous - 20/06/2009 11:13 - Switzerland

Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 803

You deserved it 97 678

Not my turn

By Perry85 - 10/12/2019 05:00

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she says "Don't cum in me, my husband has plans for later." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 263

You deserved it 1 012

perdix 29

Sunday 31 October 2010 19:19

You're going to have shitty kids.

Paramorefan2 1

Sunday 31 October 2010 19:16

wow. that sucks. she's stupid.

Comments

ToeCutter 0

Monday 1 November 2010 19:21

she is what they call a "dumbass"!

rockefoe 6

Monday 1 November 2010 19:35

is she blonde?

79DrAwkwArD97 0

Monday 1 November 2010 20:11

Wow... Are you having sex with someone who has downsyndrome?

crzygirl1980 7

Monday 10 January 2011 9:21

lmao yep she wears a helmet her nickname should be 'short bus!'

snakelady 3

Monday 1 November 2010 20:25

YDI for dating a dumbass

staggman13 0

Monday 1 November 2010 21:12

y were you wearing a condom during anal

Cinn_fml 22

Monday 1 November 2010 21:27

You have heard of bacteria, right?

at1325 0

Monday 1 November 2010 22:48

167 IQs can be lower then 80, is legally retarded.

at1325 0

Monday 1 November 2010 22:50

normally I would never recommend this because I find it cruel and disgusting, but next time donkey punch the **** for being ******* retarded.

rusticmayhem 0

Monday 1 November 2010 23:36

Congrats. You're going out with a retard.

LittleMagicWolf 7

Monday 1 November 2010 23:44

wow. wait. what? woooow. lol

doral330 0

Tuesday 2 November 2010 0:08

POO DICK!!!!!!!!!!!!

Keywords

University Confused Annoying Education Love Sex AITA Divorce Awkward Relatable Dreams Miscellaneous Embarrassing Racism Work Weird Cute Pregnancy Kids Motherhood Animals Harassment Family Poopoo peepee Surprise Health Roommate Food Texting My ex

The Top

Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 679

You deserved it 1 228

Today, we’ve been unable to have sex for months due to my boyfriend’s health issues. I would never EVER cheat on him; however my unconscious mind has other ideas. I’ve dreamt of kinky sex with everyone from the maintenance man to gettin' freaky with detective Stabler. I’m so horny I’m gonna burst. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 538

You deserved it 283

The Top

Today, I was at a bar with my friend, when I noticed a young lad at a table near to us. I thought it'd be funny to jeer and flick peanuts at him. I went to the restroom, only to come back to my friend face-down on the floor. Turns out the guy fucked him up instead, and now he won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 235

You deserved it 60 895

Today, I found out what rotten cooked potato both smells and tastes like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 776

You deserved it 1 872

Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 560

You deserved it 2 265

Today, my neighbour asked me to stop "flaunting my nudity" where her husband can see me. By this she apparently meant my bathroom when I open the window to let the steam out, because her husband can see me shower from their son's treehouse. Somehow, I don’t think me or my window are the problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 719

You deserved it 153

Today, I left the living room for 3 minutes to make a coffee. When I went back, my 4-year old had found a permanent marker, God knows where, since I don't own a permanent marker. She'd then drawn on her face, the carpet, wall, sofa, both dogs and as an added bonus the TV screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 984

You deserved it 546

Today, I live in Japan. I discovered that the toothpaste with the terrible taste that I’d been using for a month, and on which it says “Whitening” in non-Japanese characters, was in fact a skin whitening cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 719

You deserved it 200