Animals: Pure evil - FML

Pure evil

By Anonymous - 07/10/2016 20:22 - Switzerland

Today, the cat climbed up to the spice shelf while I was cooking. As I looked up and told him to leave, he tipped over a chili container which coated my face with chili powder. The bloody pain in my eyes then made me knock over a pot of boiling water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 965

You deserved it 1 173

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Same thing different taste

By ChaosFerret - 03/05/2016 20:53 - United States - Eugene

Today, I spent six hours making chicken and black bean chili for a big family gathering. I go to use the restroom. I come back to the pot on the floor with my cat standing in the chili, eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 673

You deserved it 2 111

By r1has - 12/06/2016 02:58 - Pakistan - Islamabad

Today, while chopping green chilies, I accidentally rubbed my eyes. It currently feels like Satan pissed hellfire straight into my right eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 050

You deserved it 4 882

By klutz - 25/08/2010 04:14 - Canada

Today, while grabbing a husk of corn out of the boiling hot pot, I splashed hot water on my neck, dropped the corn on my injured toe, and cut myself on the counters, all while my family laughed at my pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 210

You deserved it 9 714

Slippery when wet

By anonymous - 03/01/2017 01:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I managed to spill piping hot oil all over my kitchen floor, thinking it was too hot to clean right then and there I left it for a few hours to cool. I forgot about it, and slipped over in it bashing my head into my cupboard handle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 728

You deserved it 1 855

By Rach - 08/06/2010 14:24 - United Kingdom

Today, my cat knocked over a cup of scalding hot tea - but don't worry, the carpet wasn't damaged. It went all over my leg instead leaving a nice big scar for my holiday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 681

You deserved it 4 391

By fiery - 24/07/2010 00:06 - United States

Today, I was reaching for something in the back of the refrigerator. The bottle of hot sauce that was in front of it fell and broke. Not only did the glass cut my feet up, but the hot sauce got in the fresh wounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 027

You deserved it 4 599

By Alec - 15/06/2011 09:02 - United States

Today, I had a sore throat, and I'd read that drops of Tabasco sauce on your tongue helps. I aimed the bottle at my tongue and the whole cap came off, covering my face and filling my mouth with Tabasco sauce, causing me to blow chunks all over the kitchen floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 017

You deserved it 38 208

By Anonymous - 12/11/2011 09:27 - Australia

Today, at work, I got chilli powder in my eye. Now not only do I have a swollen, blistered eye, but I am covered in milk as my boss assured me that would help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 103

You deserved it 2 815

By ihatecats - 01/12/2009 07:05 - United States

Today, I heard my cat climbing on the counters in the kitchen. To prevent a tremendous avalanche of dishes, I picked up the cat and put it outside. She got scared from the blinds and scurried away leaving deep scratches across my nipple. I wasn't wearing a shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 176

You deserved it 16 610

By Anonymous - 08/02/2016 17:43 - Austria

Today, I made a delicious casserole for dinner. Just as I was about to serve it, a bowl fell from the cupboard above, exploded on the counter and made it rain tiny, sharp glass shards on my food. I can't pick them all out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 904

You deserved it 1 788

Next

Top comments

Trainn 19

Sunday 16 October 2016 9:31

Savage cat.

latenerd 11

Monday 24 October 2016 1:15

Sounds like a cat all right.

Comments

Xquisite1 28

Tuesday 25 October 2016 0:55

YDI for having a cat.

somedudesomewher 29

Tuesday 25 October 2016 5:55

That cat knew exactly what it was doing.

ImObnoxious 6

Tuesday 25 October 2016 7:02

And people STILL ask me why I prefer dogs...

JocieM 9

Tuesday 25 October 2016 9:05

I don't understand why people let their cats get on the kitchen counters.

MelRose520 2

Wednesday 26 October 2016 21:21

wow sounds like a scene that would be in one of those home alone movies lol. but very sorry that happened feel better!

faireanjell 5

Wednesday 26 October 2016 23:07

Your cat ... is an asshole

HylianBadger 21

Thursday 27 October 2016 5:39

And that's why I don't allow my cats on tables or countertops.

Keywords

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 832

You deserved it 101

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I agree, your life sucks 14

You deserved it 16

The Top

Today, I watched my fiancé ride off on my motorcycle with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 844

You deserved it 361

Today, my dog ate a $2,000 check. My credit card bill gets taken out of my bank account tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 283

You deserved it 9 997

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I agree, your life sucks 237

You deserved it 354

Today, an old man started telling me about the high price of meat. I told him I wouldn't know, since I'm a vegetarian. His reply was, "Oh, most vegetarians are slimmer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 926

You deserved it 9 006

Today, my boyfriend tried to serenade me with The Sex is Good by Saving Abel. According to him, "I have to fake it, I'd leave if I could. I'm not in love, but the sex is good." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 614

You deserved it 4 052

Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 761

You deserved it 9 341