Animals: Pure evil - FML

Pure evil

By Anonymous - 07/10/2016 20:22 - Switzerland

Today, the cat climbed up to the spice shelf while I was cooking. As I looked up and told him to leave, he tipped over a chili container which coated my face with chili powder. The bloody pain in my eyes then made me knock over a pot of boiling water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 964

You deserved it 1 172

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Same thing different taste

By ChaosFerret - 03/05/2016 20:53 - United States - Eugene

Today, I spent six hours making chicken and black bean chili for a big family gathering. I go to use the restroom. I come back to the pot on the floor with my cat standing in the chili, eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 670

You deserved it 2 111

By r1has - 12/06/2016 02:58 - Pakistan - Islamabad

Today, while chopping green chilies, I accidentally rubbed my eyes. It currently feels like Satan pissed hellfire straight into my right eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 048

You deserved it 4 881

By klutz - 25/08/2010 04:14 - Canada

Today, while grabbing a husk of corn out of the boiling hot pot, I splashed hot water on my neck, dropped the corn on my injured toe, and cut myself on the counters, all while my family laughed at my pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 209

You deserved it 9 711

Slippery when wet

By anonymous - 03/01/2017 01:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I managed to spill piping hot oil all over my kitchen floor, thinking it was too hot to clean right then and there I left it for a few hours to cool. I forgot about it, and slipped over in it bashing my head into my cupboard handle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 726

You deserved it 1 852

By Rach - 08/06/2010 14:24 - United Kingdom

Today, my cat knocked over a cup of scalding hot tea - but don't worry, the carpet wasn't damaged. It went all over my leg instead leaving a nice big scar for my holiday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 680

You deserved it 4 391

By fiery - 24/07/2010 00:06 - United States

Today, I was reaching for something in the back of the refrigerator. The bottle of hot sauce that was in front of it fell and broke. Not only did the glass cut my feet up, but the hot sauce got in the fresh wounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 025

You deserved it 4 599

By Alec - 15/06/2011 09:02 - United States

Today, I had a sore throat, and I'd read that drops of Tabasco sauce on your tongue helps. I aimed the bottle at my tongue and the whole cap came off, covering my face and filling my mouth with Tabasco sauce, causing me to blow chunks all over the kitchen floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 017

You deserved it 38 205

By Anonymous - 12/11/2011 09:27 - Australia

Today, at work, I got chilli powder in my eye. Now not only do I have a swollen, blistered eye, but I am covered in milk as my boss assured me that would help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 102

You deserved it 2 815

By ihatecats - 01/12/2009 07:05 - United States

Today, I heard my cat climbing on the counters in the kitchen. To prevent a tremendous avalanche of dishes, I picked up the cat and put it outside. She got scared from the blinds and scurried away leaving deep scratches across my nipple. I wasn't wearing a shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 176

You deserved it 16 608

By Anonymous - 08/02/2016 17:43 - Austria

Today, I made a delicious casserole for dinner. Just as I was about to serve it, a bowl fell from the cupboard above, exploded on the counter and made it rain tiny, sharp glass shards on my food. I can't pick them all out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 903

You deserved it 1 788

Next

Top comments

Trainn 19

Sunday 16 October 2016 9:31

Savage cat.

latenerd 11

Monday 24 October 2016 1:15

Sounds like a cat all right.

Comments

Xquisite1 28

Tuesday 25 October 2016 0:55

YDI for having a cat.

somedudesomewher 29

Tuesday 25 October 2016 5:55

That cat knew exactly what it was doing.

ImObnoxious 6

Tuesday 25 October 2016 7:02

And people STILL ask me why I prefer dogs...

JocieM 9

Tuesday 25 October 2016 9:05

I don't understand why people let their cats get on the kitchen counters.

MelRose520 2

Wednesday 26 October 2016 21:21

wow sounds like a scene that would be in one of those home alone movies lol. but very sorry that happened feel better!

faireanjell 5

Wednesday 26 October 2016 23:07

Your cat ... is an asshole

HylianBadger 21

Thursday 27 October 2016 5:39

And that's why I don't allow my cats on tables or countertops.

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Racism Love Money My ex Harassment Work Accident Embarrassing AITA Am I overreacting? Religion Relatable Health Gifts LGBTQIA+ Annoying Inappropriate Teachers Education Dogs Animals Relationship advice Cats Cute Transportation Cars Friends Scams

The Top

Today, after returning from some caveman type "men’s retreat" with his buddies, my husband is now refusing to cook or help out with the house and kids as it’s "women’s work." He also expects to be fetched beer on demand and referred to as "King" from now on. I don’t know rather to laugh or cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 581

You deserved it 300

Today, my boyfriend "proposed" to me. When we first started dating, he told me that he hated the concept of marriage and absolutely never wanted to go through with it. So I laughed and turned him down, obviously thinking it was just a joke. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 209

The Top

Today, I had to borrow my mom’s car to jump-start my battery-dead car. I got everything set up and it worked. Parked my mom’s car back into her spot, went into my car. And turned it off. Now I have to do it all again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 925

Today, I washed my hands and reached for the towel but felt something sticky. It was a house centipede. It exploded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 766

You deserved it 3 583

Today, at the age of 30, I was diagnosed with both sciatica and ADHD. I don't know whether to feel really old, or really young. FML

I agree, your life sucks 800

You deserved it 86

Today, I showed my colleagues how I could switch on my webcam at home from the office. That's how we all found out my wife is cheating on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121 103

You deserved it 7 315

Today, my sink seemed to be filling up with dirty water. Concerned, I turned on the garbage disposal and plunged away. With no change in the water levels, I called a plumber. He reached in, pulled out the drain plug, and give me his bill while chuckling to himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 093

You deserved it 45 180

Today, I finished hauling all of my possessions from another state, because I was supposed to move in with my girlfriend. I was just waiting to find a job. Almost as soon as my stuff was delivered, she broke up with me and told me to figure out getting it all back by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 085

You deserved it 221