Intimacy: Pussy power

Pussy power

By Anonymous - 25/02/2013 17:57 - Canada - Fernie

Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 150

You deserved it 8 153

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Same thing different taste

Flooftastic

By Anonymous - 26/05/2024 22:00 - Australia

Today, I tried to wax my own Brazilian. My housemate’s cat rolled onto a half-used wax strip on the floor. The poor cat now has a small, less-fluffy patch, and I still haven’t figured out how to wax myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191

You deserved it 338

By Ugggggggggg - 06/11/2012 05:11 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, I woke up with a wax strip on my chest and my girlfriend sitting next to me on the bed laughing. She pulled the strip. I screamed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 590

You deserved it 4 863

By helpme - 15/07/2013 17:25 - Canada - Sudbury

Today, while waxing my bikini line, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me which caused me to close my legs. I am now sitting in the sink with my best friend pouring hot water "down there" trying to remove the wax. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 572

You deserved it 4 664

By Nickolas - 31/12/2010 05:58 - United States

Today, I was getting my chest waxed. The woman dipped the stick into the wax and hit her elbow, making wax fall into my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 057

You deserved it 3 731

By waxer150 - 22/03/2015 22:32 - United States - Ashtabula

Today, while waxing a client's chest, I forgot to have him turn his head. When I ripped the strip, I punched him in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 301

You deserved it 8 646

By coolcat10156 - 08/07/2015 07:04 - United States - Keller

Today, while waiting the required 5 minutes for my hair removal cream to work, my cat rubbed all over my legs while I wasn't looking. After getting clawed to death throwing her in the bath to get the cream off, all her hair on that side fell off. I now have a half hairless cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 073

You deserved it 4 627

Waxing pubical

By Anonymous - 10/10/2019 16:00

Today, I was waxing my legs and somehow dropped an enormous dollop of hot wax on my naked crotch. I refused to yank it off, but still had to cut it off with scissors. So now I have a huge patch of pubic hair way shorter than the rest of it. It looks a right mess FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 033

You deserved it 1 075

By Anonymous - 18/04/2012 19:18 - United Kingdom - Eynsham

Today, I attempted to wax my "lady area". It hurt more than losing my virginity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 091

You deserved it 9 907

Beauty standards

By Anonymous - 08/05/2023 03:00

Today, my boyfriend snuck up behind me while I was naked and whispered in my ear to bend over. I thought this was a lead up to doggy style but nope, he slapped a waxing strip on my exposed bum hole and ran off yelling, “No more hairy hole! No more hairy hole!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 684

You deserved it 524

By iliku - 01/06/2019 02:00

Today, I was having a romantic evening with my new boyfriend, until we walked into my bedroom and discovered that my cat had ripped apart my pads and had spread them all over the place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 501

You deserved it 233

zingline89 18

Monday 25 February 2013 23:15

Thank you, OP, for making a pussy reference in the FML. It spared us from a half a dozen bad ones in the comments.

SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18

Monday 25 February 2013 23:10

Full or Brazillian?

Comments

greatdanen 6

Tuesday 26 February 2013 7:34

LOL, I'd love to see a picture of that... I mean your pussy... I mean your ****... CAT

nvo 6

Tuesday 26 February 2013 7:59

Poor cat

mayley 16

Tuesday 26 February 2013 8:00

Ha ... I see what you did there!

Satoaoi 13

Tuesday 26 February 2013 9:50

have mercy

rightspark 7

Tuesday 26 February 2013 10:44

Use a razor next time so the pussy won't get involved

dlas 5

Tuesday 26 February 2013 16:23

Muhahahahaha Nice job did he like it

379_fml 11

Wednesday 27 February 2013 5:10

When you wanna ditch the fiancé and cat let me know

cabrowneyes04 4

Wednesday 27 February 2013 9:21

I feel like saying animal cruelty but the irony is just SOOOOO funny!! Lol

iB_fml 8

Wednesday 27 February 2013 20:07

Lmao!! I'm sorry, but this totally cracked me up! Poor cat tho, I'm kinda imagining it looks a bit like the one in Austin Powers now

FMYLIFEFF 3

Wednesday 27 February 2013 21:51

Hahahahahahah

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The Top

Today, there was a long queue at the store, and behind me were two senior citizens. I wanted to do a good deed, so I said, "Cut before me in line, I have all the time in the world." My reward? The old man scolded me because I supposedly insinuated that they were old, and only had a short time left to live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 423

You deserved it 13 444

Today, at work, I handed an old man his drink, and our fingers accidentally brushed. He gave me a creepy wink and a smile, but I ignored it. He's now been sitting in the store for two hours watching me. Only four hours to go until I get off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 829

You deserved it 2 483

The Top

Today, in the same sentence, my boyfriend told me that he wanted to "spend the rest of his life with me," and "I want to break up with you because I can't face your family." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 848

You deserved it 169

Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he started humping my leg and said, "I'm gonna hump the fatness out of you and make you beautiful." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 310

You deserved it 436

Today, multiple people pushed me out of the way to get a seat on the metro. I'm five months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 574

You deserved it 438

Today, ever since I let my boyfriend touch my boobs, he thinks it's appropriate to grope me whenever he feels like it. Even talking to him about it doesn't seem to stop him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 120

You deserved it 218

Today, I had a long, meaningful telephone conversation. After hanging up, I realized I hadn't had such a great conversation in a long time. Who was it with? The Dell Customer Support guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 229

You deserved it 5 655

Today I got stuck in a restaurant booth and needed my date to help pull me out. I'm only 23. Safe to say he won't be calling me back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 557

You deserved it 395