Intimacy: Pussy power

Pussy power

By Anonymous - 25/02/2013 17:57 - Canada - Fernie

Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 150

You deserved it 8 153

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Same thing different taste

Flooftastic

By Anonymous - 26/05/2024 22:00 - Australia

Today, I tried to wax my own Brazilian. My housemate’s cat rolled onto a half-used wax strip on the floor. The poor cat now has a small, less-fluffy patch, and I still haven’t figured out how to wax myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191

You deserved it 338

By Ugggggggggg - 06/11/2012 05:11 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, I woke up with a wax strip on my chest and my girlfriend sitting next to me on the bed laughing. She pulled the strip. I screamed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 590

You deserved it 4 863

By helpme - 15/07/2013 17:25 - Canada - Sudbury

Today, while waxing my bikini line, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me which caused me to close my legs. I am now sitting in the sink with my best friend pouring hot water "down there" trying to remove the wax. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 572

You deserved it 4 664

By Nickolas - 31/12/2010 05:58 - United States

Today, I was getting my chest waxed. The woman dipped the stick into the wax and hit her elbow, making wax fall into my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 057

You deserved it 3 731

By waxer150 - 22/03/2015 22:32 - United States - Ashtabula

Today, while waxing a client's chest, I forgot to have him turn his head. When I ripped the strip, I punched him in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 301

You deserved it 8 646

By coolcat10156 - 08/07/2015 07:04 - United States - Keller

Today, while waiting the required 5 minutes for my hair removal cream to work, my cat rubbed all over my legs while I wasn't looking. After getting clawed to death throwing her in the bath to get the cream off, all her hair on that side fell off. I now have a half hairless cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 073

You deserved it 4 627

Waxing pubical

By Anonymous - 10/10/2019 16:00

Today, I was waxing my legs and somehow dropped an enormous dollop of hot wax on my naked crotch. I refused to yank it off, but still had to cut it off with scissors. So now I have a huge patch of pubic hair way shorter than the rest of it. It looks a right mess FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 033

You deserved it 1 075

By Anonymous - 18/04/2012 19:18 - United Kingdom - Eynsham

Today, I attempted to wax my "lady area". It hurt more than losing my virginity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 091

You deserved it 9 907

Beauty standards

By Anonymous - 08/05/2023 03:00

Today, my boyfriend snuck up behind me while I was naked and whispered in my ear to bend over. I thought this was a lead up to doggy style but nope, he slapped a waxing strip on my exposed bum hole and ran off yelling, “No more hairy hole! No more hairy hole!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 684

You deserved it 524

By iliku - 01/06/2019 02:00

Today, I was having a romantic evening with my new boyfriend, until we walked into my bedroom and discovered that my cat had ripped apart my pads and had spread them all over the place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 501

You deserved it 233

zingline89 18

Monday 25 February 2013 23:15

Thank you, OP, for making a pussy reference in the FML. It spared us from a half a dozen bad ones in the comments.

SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18

Monday 25 February 2013 23:10

Full or Brazillian?

Comments

shadow7x 10

Tuesday 26 February 2013 1:49

oh man, that's hilarious

akiahara 14

Tuesday 26 February 2013 2:45

Did you seriously wax your cat instead of cutting the strip out? That's just cruel...

Xalandra 17

Tuesday 26 February 2013 8:19

^Exactly my point!

outoftown 26

Tuesday 26 February 2013 2:55

On the bright side, the cat may be less likey to jump on the counter. At least that counter.

broncos67 9

Tuesday 26 February 2013 3:11

Just shave next time?

Ziggy122 15

Tuesday 26 February 2013 3:13

I'm sorry, but the wording of this scenario is ******* hilarious.

missfrenchie 11

Tuesday 26 February 2013 3:17

The poor cat! Didn't you have baby oil in you house? Baby oil turns the wax 'soft' so that the wax would slide off easily

katiebugs22 4

Tuesday 26 February 2013 3:39

soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of... nope :D

kyletk 7

Tuesday 26 February 2013 3:50

Oh wow that play on words got me laughing pretty good. great fml, poor pussycat...

Sodapop40 21

Tuesday 26 February 2013 6:06

I would sleep with one eye open

foxykz 13

Tuesday 26 February 2013 7:22

revenger of the cat?

ethereana 2

Tuesday 26 February 2013 6:44

seems like the cat might actually get your toungh eh? but that sucks alot though for you and your cat (mostly the cat)

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Annoying Am I overreacting? Health Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, my best friend and I were playing Call of Duty when he said he had to go to the bathroom. Curious, I checked his phone. A text message read, "Tell your friend you're going to the bathroom and come eat. Pizza is here" from his dad. Apparently, I'm not good enough to feed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 058

You deserved it 8 155

Today, my longtime crush, who turned me down because he’s “sick of women”, just got into a relationship. He made it Facebook official, with photos of them and everything. Wanting to even the score, I commented, “So it seems your sickness of women is cured, huh?” He bitched at me for “ruining his moment” and deleted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 999

The Top

Today, my husband had to quit his job. Five months ago, we paid a deposit on a brand new house, and the title and mortgage need to be finalized next week. His work is forcing him out because he wanted to do his job safely and to a high standard of workmanship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 147

You deserved it 203

Today, I read on Facebook that someone shat outside our block of flats. I laughed and showed it to my friend who was with me. She turned to me, and said, "That was you, we were locked outside last night and you needed to pee, but a poo slipped out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 750

You deserved it 2 357

Today, I asked my mom if she could include mashed potatoes and gravy with dinner. She then went on to yell at me about my "unhealthy eating habits" and how I've "gained a lot of weight in the past few months". I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 998

You deserved it 4 195

Today, my mom announced to everyone that she wants at least ten grandchildren. I'm an only child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 208

You deserved it 3 900

Today, I walked behind a girl I hooked up with last weekend while she was on the computer in the library. I noticed she was looking at my Facebook page and got excited. Then I heard her say to her friend, "This is the one with the smallest dick I've ever seen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 003

You deserved it 9 604

Today, my ex was talking about getting back together. I say I’d be willing to talk and ask him to explain what he wants from me, to see if there’s any common ground, but he replied, "I just mention something and you immediately attack me with this emo crap! I already regret even thinking about it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 179