Sex, Embarrassing, Gross, Awkward and Intimacy: Quick thinking

Quick thinking

By rolyat - 01/05/2012 16:41 - United States - Rochester

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 723

You deserved it 4 005

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Same thing different taste

You coming?

By snotface - 23/04/2009 19:47 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She started panting harder and going, "AH, AH, AH..." and I thought she was about to come. Next thing I know, there's snot splattered all over my face and neck. Turns out it was a sneeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 804

You deserved it 8 867

By shitfaced - 18/09/2015 17:30 - Netherlands - Sassenheim

Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 675

You deserved it 9 515

By herve - 22/05/2009 19:50 - Lebanon

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 022

You deserved it 11 617

We all do it. Don't we?

By Anonymous - 30/08/2010 07:30 - United States

Today, I saw my girlfriend scratch her crotch and then sniff her fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 061

You deserved it 13 758

Rash beard

By Rashbeard - 05/01/2020 01:00

Today, I was eating out with my partner, and we decided to use the new lube we bought. Things went great until I later realized I was allergic to it and a large red rash spread all across my mouth and chin. It won't go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 812

You deserved it 441

Freaked out

By Anonymous - 16/06/2020 02:02

Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my shirt off, she saw my chest acne. She ran out of my house and hasn't spoken to me in 5 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 148

You deserved it 262

By goo - 10/02/2017 18:00 - United States - Louisville

Today, while having fun between the sheets with my boyfriend, his allergies got the best of him and his nose started running. Every time he kissed me he'd drip snot onto my face. When I complained, he said I was being insensitive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 665

You deserved it 1 129

By WorstMedicalBill - 20/11/2009 14:53 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when I realized I had to sneeze. Not wanting to sneeze on her, I tried my hardest to hold it in. When I climaxed, I couldn't hold it in any more and sneezed all over her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 184

You deserved it 21 862

By Geez - 19/10/2009 17:02 - Netherlands

Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 205

You deserved it 3 765

By Anonymous - 16/04/2013 23:21 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. A few hours later, we discovered he's highly allergic to my Summer's Eve soap. He looks like he's been attacked by bees. Yay for losing my v-card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 551

You deserved it 8 072

richy90255 8

Wednesday 2 May 2012 0:32

Next time if there if is a next time

Keyganator 5

Wednesday 2 May 2012 0:34

Hey, they don't call it fun sized for nothing! ; )

Comments

mgkgambino 3

Wednesday 2 May 2012 2:49

It cool, I did that too when my gf took off her shirt :P

hhhwat 0

Wednesday 2 May 2012 12:15

Patty cakes? That u?

Rasetsu 10

Wednesday 2 May 2012 2:58

Penises are funny no matter what. Whether I'm 18 or 98, I will always be too immature to not giggle when I hear the word "penis." Sorry.

on_the_flip_side 0

Wednesday 2 May 2012 23:41

AGREED. XD

Dnigz13 4

Wednesday 2 May 2012 3:02

Wow your gf is pretty shallow

mosquito19 14

Wednesday 2 May 2012 3:03

don't feel bad, size do mattet, no one likes giant ******

bethanyjk 0

Wednesday 2 May 2012 4:25

Are u 6?

cetlawizard 15

Wednesday 2 May 2012 3:08

Wash your junk & tell her "it gets bigger with use!"

mollydarling 0

Wednesday 2 May 2012 3:15

71 she must not be. but seriously youre 14 you should stop it makes you look bad (just saying)

klorehore 24

Wednesday 2 May 2012 3:18

you better start working on your hand and oral techniques, sounds like you're gonna need it. Atleast you can please your girl then, if your penis just doesn't cut it. ;)

harof1c 0

Wednesday 2 May 2012 3:19

That is one ****** up girlfriend you have.if she loves you she wouldn't have laughed at you.

Jac_d_ipper 10

Wednesday 2 May 2012 3:23

Prolly u were not getting enough intimate with her... and it was ur first time hey. next occasion get her aroused until there's no looking back, no matter what.