Sex, Roommate and Intimacy: Revenge is sweet - FML

Revenge is sweet

By Anonymous - 09/06/2015 20:52 - Ireland

Spicy

Today, my housemate got back at me for asking for her share of a bill by losing her virginity to the guy I like, very loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 710

You deserved it 2 840

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 26/08/2009 05:12 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my roommate brought a guy home at 3:30am. Not having a condom, she ran into my room to borrow one of mine. She was overzealous, jumped onto my bed, and cracked two of my ribs. She then took the condom, left me lying paralyzed with pain, and then had very loud sex, which I heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 241

You deserved it 4 111

MY EARS! MY EARS!

By ashbeat - 01/01/2013 15:20 - Australia - Sydney

Spicy

Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 639

You deserved it 4 400

Not helping

By StillUnemployed - 11/10/2021 20:00

Today, I received a call from a potential employer. I was excited, until my roommate starts loudly moaning sexually in the background. The interviewer got offended and hung up. My roommate did it because I "made her" pay my half of the rent this month. FYI, I’m unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 211

You deserved it 202

By idontwanttoknow - 16/06/2013 11:37 - United States

Spicy

Today, I heard my roommate moaning my name in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 117

You deserved it 6 917

WTF roomie?

By JN5SLK - 08/11/2013 22:29 - United States - Salt Lake City

Spicy

Today, I walked into my dorm room, only to witness my roommate shaving her vag over my trashcan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 074

You deserved it 4 647

By CollegeFreshman - 11/09/2009 04:20 - United States

Today, I heard a knock on my door and, thinking it was my student adviser, opened it. I was greeted by a drunk girl, who pushed her way into my dorm room, informed me that she lived here last year, and then told me that she lost her virginity in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 610

You deserved it 3 749

By Arizonagirl - 06/11/2016 07:31 - United States

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed, because apparently hers is "for sleeping only". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 312

You deserved it 840

Life imitating art, or…?

By Bik - 27/06/2023 22:00

Spicy

Today, some filthy creep grabbed my girlfriend's ass in front of me. I smashed his face in, as would be expected. Afterwards, we had wild sex, then she cried, told me how frightened my "unprovoked violent response" made her, and kicked me out. I'm now in a seedy motel, wondering what the hell happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 069

You deserved it 411

By Anonymous - 09/12/2018 22:00

Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my roommate to chip in for electricity costs. She called me a bitch, proceeded to tell me she can't afford it despite working full time and I part time, and blocked me on all communications. Uhm, what ? FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 256

You deserved it 349

By itsemilyc - 02/02/2015 19:34 - United States - Byron Center

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend "accidentally" had sex with my roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 860

You deserved it 4 309

Next

Top comments

lovelockdown23 23

Wednesday 10 June 2015 9:09

Who gives up their virginity out of spite? she's an idiot

Jefffz 13

Wednesday 10 June 2015 9:11

You should have asked her if you could split the guy too

Comments

Kidjazzin 17

Wednesday 10 June 2015 21:35

That's pretty freaking rude. Time to find a new roommate eh?

FunnnyGirrl 19

Thursday 11 June 2015 2:15

Your roommate sounds like a cow! I suggest looking for somewhere else to live, she's shown her true colours!

97mailo 17

Thursday 11 June 2015 3:25

Time to fight fire with fire. First you charge a guy to sleep with her, after he pays you, you casually mention to her how much you like him. Then she will probably sleep with him also, and you have a win win. You can pay all your bills with the money you make from her.

snazzymcwho 21

Thursday 11 June 2015 3:49

Just move out and leave that **** with all of the bills she can't pay. That shit used to happen to me too until I finally met my now husband.

kishmobile444 16

Thursday 11 June 2015 5:08

umm, I'd bet money she was not a virgin if that's why she did it. she's possibly a perpetual liar and not likely to be a reliable housemate with rent. beware!

edmunson 22

Thursday 11 June 2015 7:42

Probably not a virgin, just a mean, vindictive bitch...

Ruskiy_Cherep 18

Thursday 11 June 2015 10:25

Jokes on her, shes the one that got ******!

Ava_Darkflame 26

Thursday 11 June 2015 17:24

Bitch.

pinque 19

Friday 12 June 2015 4:42

What a ****

Freelman 7

Sunday 14 June 2015 13:39

Why does this never happen to me ?

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The Top

Today, I woke up from a night of serious depression, drinking by myself at home, to find a USB stick wrapped in plastic up my vagina, with "Top secret" written on it. There was nothing on the stick when I checked. I may need to give tequila a rest and switch back to gin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 1 831

Today, I was on the webcam with my boyfriend. I could see that he was on the couch, and alone, so I took off my shirt and smiled, waiting to see his reaction. He smiled at me but then kept looking in another direction. I playfully asked "What's so distracting?" His answer: "History Channel". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 434

You deserved it 10 095

The Top

Today, we had a new babysitter coming over to the house and my kids were a bit anxious, so I asked her to send me a message telling me how it went. At around 10, I received a message saying, “it’s going alright. Both kids are in bed.” I have three children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 541

You deserved it 455

Today, while out for a jog, I noticed that you never know how fast you run until you're being followed by someone in a car you don't know, and they're continuously honking at you. I later found out it my dad in his new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 806

You deserved it 2 322

Today, after eating out with my boyfriend, we went for a drive, but ended up getting into an argument. I reached back to grab my bag and storm out of the car. He thought I was trying to take the restaurant's doggy bag and lunged at me. My boyfriend would rather save chicken than our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 443

You deserved it 6 568

Today, while my 8-year-old was at school, I got a call saying that he shat and peed himself and then attacked a girl with his shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 281

You deserved it 365

Today, just like every workday for the last 6 months, the construction workers in my building made loud noises in the morning and woke me up almost 2 hours before I would otherwise have to get up. This will continue for one more year. I'm not a morning person, and I live in a protected historical building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 142

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of two years after eating in a 5-star restaurant. She said that she wasn't ready, and that she would walk home by herself, which she did. A homeless gentleman walked up from behind me, patted me on the back, and said, "Bitches, man." I cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 787

You deserved it 3 387