Intimacy: Sensual world

Sensual world

By Anonymous - 16/10/2015 15:05 - United Kingdom - Eastleigh

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend about the importance of foreplay, and that attempting to get me "in the mood" by whipping his cock out and air humping was roughly equivalent to throwing a dry teabag at me and claiming he made a cup of tea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 245

You deserved it 3 011

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Wanker

By alicia - 20/12/2012 22:45 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I had to explain to my fiancé that having me watch him jerk off over a porno is not in fact considered foreplay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 315

You deserved it 11 981

Imagery

By bunnyluver4545 - 11/01/2012 05:42 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 586

You deserved it 36 720

By fuckadaisical - 06/12/2013 20:23 - United Kingdom - Pontypridd

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 438

You deserved it 8 903

Mr Selfish

By Anonymous - 20/04/2021 11:00

Today, it's the fifth time this week alone I've attempted to explain to my boyfriend that I need more than just two minutes of foreplay to get horny. He tells me he's too tired, but is apparently not too tired to receive head and then have sex afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 233

You deserved it 192

Hmmmm…

By Anonymous - 12/12/2010 23:02 - United States

Today, my 21 year-old boyfriend asked me what foreplay is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 545

You deserved it 5 289

By Anonymous - 28/02/2014 21:10 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, frustrated that my boyfriend never gives me any orgasms when we make love, I tried politely hinting that he needs to improve. To start with, I said maybe he should be more spontaneous in bed. He replied, "What, like putting it in your ass? Gotcha." Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 854

You deserved it 16 535

Bruh…

By ... - 06/06/2011 07:44 - Australia

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that fist pumping during sex is not romantic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 772

You deserved it 6 716

By valerie - 28/05/2011 01:04 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 045

You deserved it 18 791

Steamy

By Anonymous - 20/05/2019 06:35

Today, while getting steamy with my boyfriend, I tried to be sexy and tease him by playfully pushing his hands away every time he touched me. He responded by telling me it's OK if we didn't have sex because my breath was a bit "funky" and he needed to take "a massive dump anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 111

You deserved it 3 403

Booming

By Anonymous - 26/04/2013 22:22 - United States - Arvada

Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 936

You deserved it 10 200

heftysmash253 6

Saturday 17 October 2015 1:40

Sounds like foreplay isn't his best quali-tea

YumeWolf 23

Saturday 17 October 2015 1:41

I love the comparison you made. FYL

Comments

CosmicElk 26

Saturday 17 October 2015 2:02

Ok this one cracked me up! Best analogy ive seen in a while!

CharismaGeek 19

Saturday 17 October 2015 2:15

Must be kinda embarrassing to teach your boyfriend how to get you "in the mood". But, he sounds funny.

Bgreen94 12

Saturday 17 October 2015 2:26

He sounds like a keeper

conman531 23

Saturday 17 October 2015 2:29

Woman need this licked, that fondled, and something else kissed. They need time to get ready. For man to get ready, you just need to be... there. Be there, be naked and we're ready. So, who is really the one more dedicated to the relationship?

silverbane27 13

Saturday 17 October 2015 2:38

That's pretty harsh

exoticwaved 9

Saturday 17 October 2015 2:38

I like girls who are ready to go. **** all this warming you up shit.

quackImapenguin 16

Saturday 17 October 2015 3:17

So you like blow up dolls then? Because that's the only "girl" that fits your criteria. Unless you just expect women to fake being ready.

NineeCat 32

Saturday 17 October 2015 3:47

I know a lot of girls who are ready to go at a moments notice. Being one of those girls, I can only hypothesize that maybe the slow starters aren't too excited at the thought of having sex with you? But that's just my thought, what do I know? lol everyone's different:)

emilyjgraham 34

Saturday 17 October 2015 10:45

24, not everyone likes just the sex part. Some people love the foreplay part. I have been wanting to have sex before but not quite ready down there straight away so foreplay is involved. You might get horny really quickly but if your vajayjay isn't wet enough it hurts a little and some people want to prevent that entirely. It's awesome that you are ready to go straight away but you can't criticise someone for wanting foreplay. It does wonders for a relationship too, in my opinion!