It doesn't sound like the op's boyfriend told her from the begining that it was against his culture for him to get married to her. Now if he were upfront with her and she continued to date him, then it would be her fault. I just think it's sad that he claims to be "in love" with her and not choose to marry who he wants. At least she only wasted a year on the relationship.

This was beautifully written. Whereas I quickly skimmed over other comments, I carefully read over this comment at least three times. I agree that different things are of importance to every individual. I just do not understand why he would be willing to go against his parents in the first place if they are that “sacred” to him. If your (I am using your in the general sense) parents are that “sacred” to you, I do not see why you believe that it is okay to do things that do not approve of behind their back because they do not know about it. Who are you fooling? In addition, I do not believe that it is okay for him to take advantage of the OP. If his parents, culture, and legacy are as sacred to him as you believe, than he should focus on these things of great importance, and do right by them at all times, not when it is convenient for him. If he really wishes to preserve his culture, legacy, and parents favor, he need to leave people they do not approve of alone and seek out people they do approve of.

I don't mean for this to be offensive, but the reason you are confused is because you are looking at it too narrow mindedly. You are basing your opinion on the assumption that the OPs boyfriends family disapproves of anything about their relationship other than the potential marriage. It is possible that they don't disapprove of the relationship, or the OP, or even of "cheating" on ones spouse. The only thing that we can be certain of is that they disapprove of the idea of him officially bringing her in to the family. If this is the case, you could only judge the boyfriend if you think that any relationship that isn't 100% committed to end in marriage is a farce and the people are evil for pursuing a relationship that they knew they wouldn't consummate in matrimony.

No offense taken. If my own biases are causing me to look at the situation too narrow mindedly and if the parents approve of him dating individuals who are not of the same ethnicity but do not permit him to marry them, okay. If he wishes to abide by his parents rules, all is well. All I am saying is that he should have given the OP a heads up. He should have informed her that he did not intend to be committed to her. If the OP decided to date him despite being informed this, then I would not argue on her behalf. Under no circumstances should anyone be misused in the way that his misused the OP. It’s just not alright.

I agree, in theory that would be the right thing to do. The problem that I have with it, and a similar post to yours several spots down, is that it isn't realistic. You aren't going to start any relationship out with "Hi, I have strict traditional parents, and have no intention of ever marrying you." 99% or relationships don't (or rather shouldn't) end in marriage. Casual dating is casual dating. No one should go in to any relationship with any expectations other than to let it run it's course and be treated fairly. In my humble opinion, the 1 year mark would in fact be the appropriate time to bring up this kind of issue. Honestly, a relationship that lasts less than a year could not be described as "serious", unless both parties would honestly admit that they moved way too fast. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, just that it probably shouldn't work out that way. The truth is, that most of the first year of dating someone is just getting to know them, and enjoying spending time with them. If you really want to get serious with someone, the smart thing to do is become friends with them, date casually, and really get to know who they are and how they operate. If you still feel as strongly for them as you thought you would, that is the time to start thinking about settling down.

A perfectly honest human being would start the relationship out with “Hi, I have strict traditional parents, and have no intention of ever marrying you." Why not? It is the truth. Relationships that are built upon lies, or hidden truths, have no potential to last. Why shouldn’t anyone go into relationships with expectations? Your philosophy proves that people go into things thinking only the worst. Is there anything wrong with having faith that a relationship would actually endure? Is there anything wrong with giving EVERYTHING, including relationships, your all? Or do you suggest that people continue viewing the world as a large pit devouring everything in site? I notice that you often advocate fair treatment. Treating a relationship fairly is allowing the relationship to prosper if it is going to. Not ending the relationship prematurely because your unfair selfish self only wanted someone to hook up with. I do not know the specifics of the OP’s relationship, so I will attempt to refute your claim that her and her partner casually dated. But for the record, relationships that haven’t yet reached the one year point are not casual by default. Both partners should agree that they are dating casually. Once deeper emotions are attached, it is no longer casual. You have claimed that it was alright for him to break up with the OP because they have reached the one year point, the so called claimed serious point. This is ludicrous. He should have broken things off before they had gotten serious, maybe then this would not have been a FML. Let’s not wait until things are serious and out of control before we attempt to do anything about them. Consider this: a doctor knew that you have had a life threatening disease for several years but decided to inform you, and begin treatment, when you were in your very last stages. Is he justified because he told you when the disease had gotten serious? I would hope not! I would hope that the OP’s boyfriend is not justified because he broke up with her after a year, that is, after they are officially serious by your standards.

It could be that or he could be white and she could be brown. It is normal practice but thankfully it's being gradually phased out by the wealthier, city-dwelling Indians. It is definitely still the norm in the villages though.

Unless this FML is labeled as coming from India, that is highly unlikely. I have a pretty strong feeling that the families that arrange marriages in India are probably not the kind of people that would move out of India and/or be around people from other cultures all that much. I would say it is a million more times likely that the boyfriend is asian. It is very common for asian people in the states to date outside their race, but traditional asian parents are EXTREMELY unlikely to approve of a marriage. Since the boyfriend is male, they probably wouldn't give him a very hard time about dating a "white" person, but they wouldn't make it any secret that they would not approve of bringing her in to their family. Since family plays such an important role in asian culture, it would probably also explain his reluctance to go against his parents wishes. Long story short, my guess is he's Chinese.