Intimacy: Smooth

Smooth

By sopathetic - 26/02/2009 04:09 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around. I was sitting up on my bed when he reached down near my privates and said, "Wow babe, did you shave today? It's so soft…" He was actually touching my bottom roll above my vagina, which delightfully formed a crease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 035

You deserved it 22 064

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By megaladon - 28/06/2010 08:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 891

You deserved it 37 458

A little higher, dude

By Anonymous - 04/04/2022 14:00

Today, I was laying in bed with my boyfriend. He started caressing me, his eyes were closed, and he said, “I love touching your boobs.” Which was actually a roll of fat on my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 075

You deserved it 523

By Sugao - 10/12/2008 07:48 - France

Today, during foreplay with my boyfriend, I put my legs around his neck. He pushed them away violently, shouting, "Bloody hell, it's prickling me!" I'd shaved the day before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 077

You deserved it 7 636

Baby Got Back

By backfat - 18/05/2018 01:44

Today, while in bed, my fiancé rolled over in the dark and complimented me on my nice buttocks. He had actually grabbed a roll of back fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 691

You deserved it 1 099

Beauty standards

By Anonymous - 08/05/2023 03:00

Today, my boyfriend snuck up behind me while I was naked and whispered in my ear to bend over. I thought this was a lead up to doggy style but nope, he slapped a waxing strip on my exposed bum hole and ran off yelling, “No more hairy hole! No more hairy hole!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 684

You deserved it 524

So hot

By bonesniffer - 16/09/2010 05:13 - United States

Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 827

You deserved it 6 059

By Anonymous - 27/10/2010 06:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were snuggling and telling eachother nice things. The nicest thing he could think of to say to me was "Well, I see you shaved your mustache." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 692

You deserved it 6 404

By marsbar - 15/03/2009 05:07 - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was moving his hand from his thigh to my chest but on the way he sort of squeezed my stomach. When I asked him why he did that, he told me that "his fingers got stuck under my roll." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 735

You deserved it 20 103

Mr Clean

By Anonymous - 18/01/2013 10:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 269

You deserved it 7 595

By BarbieKen - 14/06/2009 04:14 - United States

Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me I spread my legs to help out then he looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 139

You deserved it 63 337

vitamin_f 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 13:25

Why does it crease vertically in the middle like a vulva does? That's what I don't understand, lol.

itsfuntobesexy 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 12:33

That's disgusting.

Comments

GoldenArias 0

Friday 27 February 2009 8:07

Hey, #40, you're a ******* moron. Most fat people have NOT been fat since they were children. Most people get fat when they get older and their metabolism slows down and they're too lazy to go exercise and diet. Yeah, there are some people who have been fat since they were children, but not very many (even though childhood obesity is on the rise). So shut the **** up.

imjustbeinian 0

Monday 30 January 2012 3:57

Why can't we all be friends? :)

That_Guy 4

Saturday 28 February 2009 6:48

omg you fat ****! hahahaha

Zic_fml 7

Sunday 1 March 2009 16:13

Yeh, fat people aren't fat, it's us who are underfed.

I_Suck_At_Life 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 19:11

Ok comments #38 - #54 are SO off-topic its just sad. Sopathetic, you can be what you want to be, do what you want to do, have what you want to have! Girl just live your life how you want to. I think that was pretty courageous to post that as a FML though. If anyone wants to read my profile, go ahead. It's 100% true. You can feel bad for me, make fun of me, not care, or whatever you want. It's exactly 1,000 characters so I couldnt put the rest. If you want to know more Ill tell you...

music_baby224 0

Wednesday 11 November 2009 0:49

dear mr. i suck at life, let's get married in ten years. (:

ebonyirony 29

Wednesday 15 August 2012 13:24

Uh kid it was meant to be laughed at. Obviously they're comfortable enough to say they had fat rolls. they're gonna be expecting some fat comments. You're gettin riled up over nothing.

ekdikeo 0

Monday 2 March 2009 18:06

Lose some weight, babe

melkman 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 0:30

you should work on that weight problem

Anonx9876 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 5:42

Sounds like you need a date with a turkey trimmer

e_n_t_r_e 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 6:29

Well your bf obviously doesnt care about your "weight." Why should you. But yeah thats embarassing. If i were you Id consider shaving the cat.

alyssaxx_57 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 6:43

obviously she knows she a bit overweight, hence her posting this... so everyone calling her fat probably wont upset her all that much...and why does everyone feel the need to stick up for her? confusing :/