Health, Shopping and Thief: Smugglers unite

Smugglers unite

By atang - 09/04/2009 09:16 - United States

Today, I was leaving a clothing store when the security guard stopped me and demanded that I surrender the clothing I was "trying to steal" by hiding it under my shirt. It turns out, he was just looking at my pot belly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 941

You deserved it 11 455

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Same thing different taste

J'accuse !

By Anonymous - 10/08/2010 21:34 - United States

Today, I was shopping at a store from which I had previously bought a shirt. The clerk accused me of trying to steal my own shirt and called security. They examined it and argued with me for so long I was late to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 188

You deserved it 3 011

By ilovezim29 - 03/06/2012 07:45 - United States - Windsor

Today, I went to Safeway. The security guard wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. When I confronted him about it he told me that they looked fake and he was making sure I didn't stuff my bra with stolen items. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 885

You deserved it 4 882

By Anonymous - 02/04/2011 21:05 - United States

Today, while shopping, I was grabbed and dragged off to a security room with no warning. Apparently, the way I was dressed and walking was suspicious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 531

You deserved it 5 067

By Gitana - 22/04/2012 19:08 - Spain - Tafalla

Today, I was trying on some clothes in the store's changing room, when someone reached under the door and grabbed my purse, shoes, and pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 906

You deserved it 3 168

By Recon - 17/03/2009 12:16 - Switzerland

Today, I had gone to the store and bought a new wallet. 5 minutes later a security guard asks for my receipt. Turns out I had dropped my receipt. Some guy had picked it up and pretended I had stole his wallet. The guard confiscated my wallet because the guy had "his" receipt to prove it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103 739

You deserved it 8 421

By what_the_hell - 20/06/2013 08:35 - Finland - Helsinki

Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 866

You deserved it 3 601

Are you new?

By Anonymous - 28/06/2012 02:28 - United States - Lakewood

Today, while walking around the local thrift store, I noticed an attractive guy watching me and following me through the aisles. As he followed me to my car I was sure I would get his number. He then asks me to bring my purse inside as I had been tagged as a shoplifter. I work at the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 757

You deserved it 2 531

By goingtothegym - 09/12/2013 01:16 - United States - Canyon Country

Today, I was accused of shoplifting because my jacket looked "too chunky". I wasn't stealing, I'm just fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 733

You deserved it 6 553

Kinda sus

By embarrassed - 03/07/2010 07:14 - Australia

Today, I went out with my boyfriend and thought I'd wear two bras under my singlet-top to make my chest look bigger. Upon leaving Target, one of the security guards noticed the extra straps and accused me of shoplifting. I had to spend the next 20 minutes explaining the situation to security. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 347

You deserved it 47 115

By Anonymous - 04/04/2014 19:02 - Canada - Markham

Today, I went to the store to buy a phone I saw last week. I looked around a little first, then continued to the electronics section. I couldn't find the phone I saw, so I went to leave. Halfway to the exit, I was detained by security and grilled for ages over my "suspicious behaviour". FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 169

You deserved it 3 687

I_Go_Commando 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 20:02

If this isn't motivation enough to get your ass in shape, i don't know what is.

xxyumtasticxx 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 20:03

it's like family guy Chris: I need an adult! I need an adult! Guard: You're not a shoplifter, you're just a fat kid.

Comments

patray_angel 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 20:33

The security guard was just doing his job, but hopefully he appologized when he found out the truth.

Sure_Thing 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 20:34

I'm going to go ahead and call fake on this. Clothing is, um, i don't know, lumpy? You'd have to be an idiot to get that mixed up...

roll_fukng_tide 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 20:37

Straight depressing shit right there. Join a fuckn gym man

trynightday 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 20:39

Gutted. First, complain to the store - maybe you can get some free merchandise for your trouble? Second, lose some weight so it doesn't happen again.

Aiiron_fml 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 20:43

YDI.. Lay off the twinkies and ding-dongs.. just kidding FYL for being so overweight, some people just can't help it.

kathyFTW 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 20:43

Wow. Your tummy must be bumpy.

guitardedman 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 20:46

9 made me laugh out loud. bein overweight sucks.. dont wear tight clothes if you a big girl though

Jeffo314 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 20:50

Did you surrender it to him?

liznmr09 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 20:58

you know you can file a lawsuit for that, right? when they accuse you of stealing? i work for loss prevention. that's a HUGE no-no.

Jaxro 6

Thursday 9 April 2009 21:04

Hahaha that sucks for you.

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The Top

Today, I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were three girls loudly discussing blowjob techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was, "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 371

You deserved it 29 703

Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 872

You deserved it 4 683

The Top

Today, I have horrible diarrhea because of IBS. If I was at home, this wouldn't be that big of an issue, but I'm at work and I don't have access to a bathroom all the time. I also found out I have about 10 minutes to get to the toilet or else I'll probably shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 113

Today, after recently moving to Australia, I saw my first kangaroo. In the refrigerated section of the supermarket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 727

You deserved it 132

Today, my husband got home and shouted he had a surprise for me. I shouted back that I hoped it was his tasty knob with strawberry lube. Nope, he'd picked up my grandparents for a visit now social isolation is being relaxed. They might be in their 80’s but they’re not deaf, unfortunately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 892

You deserved it 880

Today, I came out to my parents. They nodded empathetically throughout my entire speech and told me repeatedly that it was okay. As I smiled and stood up, my dad asked, "But you're still going to marry a guy, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 546

You deserved it 8 125

Today, I was told that if I was caught yawning again, I'd be fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 881

You deserved it 2 305

Today, I found out my new neighbour tried to report me as a terrorist for, "speaking terrorist language and moving bags of that explosive fertiliser." I’m Japanese, and the bags were mostly rotting vegetables and animal dung. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 305

You deserved it 101