So… good news, or…?

By daddy-o - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML
I agree, your life sucks 35 081
You deserved it 21 179
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Top comments

brokenangelexy 13

Don't be silly wrap your willy!

845 20
tencentsakiss 19

I want to know if this is just your cute way of writing, or if she's really too dumb to realize that she's pregnant.

372 25

Comments

l0v3p4in 7

Good job, OP! That great excuse you used to get into her pants? It's going to bite your ass. Congrats!

4 0
I_Punch_Babies 7

hopefully OP will have more of that special curing sauce left over for when his girls sickness comes back

0 4
DocBastard 38

How on earth did you cure her of her gonorrhea? And why the hell does she catch it every month? You two seriously need to sit down with each other and talk this out. Something fishy is going on.

32 0
kittenvks 11

Could be a monthly outbreak of the herp too doc :)

3 0
BostonBruinsFan 8

It was her PERIOD, gosh, a doctor doesn't know what a monthly illness for a girl is?? WTF?

0 14
DocBastard 38

A period is that little dot that goes at the end of a sentence. It's also a portion of a football game. What the hell are you talking about?

10 0
desireev 17

41- The word 'girlfriend' does not mean highschool or young people. There are millions of people, of all ages, who have boyfriends and girlfriends. In this day and age, people don't have to be married to have a child. I wish it was that way, but it isn't.

13 0
desireev 17

Ugh!! This is supposed to be for comment #41!

1 1
ElmoSaysSquishy 28

Why is everyone assuming they're going to keep it ?

3 4
coried91 28

Adoption is an option! A whole hell of a lot better than abortion. Please tell me you meant adoption by this comment.

1 0
ElmoSaysSquishy 28

I meant both as they are both options. Everyone seems to be assuming that OP and his girlfriend are going to keep the baby.

0 0
coried91 28

Well it's more humane than abortion so maybe that's why they think he's going to keep it.

1 2
ElmoSaysSquishy 28

I'm not going to bring in my opinions on abortion vs adoption. However, no one really seemed to be acknowledging that there are other options than having the kid and raising it.

0 0
ballbearing 10

Because adoption is so humane.... Both to the birth mother who spends her life tortured wondering if her baby is okay, loved and nurtured. And to the baby who grows up feeling abandoned and alone. The only one who benefits are the adoptive parents who for selfish or biological reasons can't have children. and lawyers who facilitate baby purchasing.

0 1
rifletwirler92 15

Adoption's not a bad thing. And FYI, there's such a thing as open adoptions where the birth mother/parents are kept up to date with the kid and the kid knows who his/her parents are. How is it inhumane for a kid to go to parents that can take care of them?

0 0
Hannibal83 0

48 - Humane? A fetus isn't capable of surviving outside its mother in the first trimester. I would hardly consider "humane" an applicable word to describe something that doesn't have a fully developed nervous system or functioning organs. The med-grade vacuum makes quick, clean work of problems.

0 0
mmjluvi 1

Dumbass CONDOMS YOU MORON!!!!!

4 9
ElmoSaysSquishy 28

Yeah because condoms never fail. No contraception is 100% effective.

6 0
coried91 28

Condoms aren't always effective. Chill with your hostility.

4 0
SpartanMerc 18

Not having sex is 100% effective... And it is technically a form of birth control. Next best thing is vasectomy with a 99.9% effectiveness.

1 3
McNerdyNerd 8

The way your gf worded this, she sounds like she's 14 or something. I wonder if she was being 'creative' or if she's just that dumb...but either way, I think once you get over the initial shock you'll be happy :) Stay with her, and treat her right, and take care of them, and you'll be fine..plus, you should've taken precautions if you didn't want a kid...sorry!

7 5
mikeymayhem_87 15

Sounds like the next illness may last an average of 18-22 years

3 0