Love, Pregnancy and Surprise: So… good news, or…? - FML

So… good news, or…?

By daddy-o - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 081

You deserved it 21 179

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

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Same thing different taste

Cold open

By AbsentMindedBoy - 03/03/2009 04:09 - Canada

Today, I visited my ex-girlfriend's house. I saw her mother and asked, "Hi! Have you recovered from that nasty cold that you had for so long?" She said, "I don't have a cold," to which I smiled and said, "That's great to hear!" Turns out she has lung cancer instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 636

You deserved it 15 771

By themarrowguy - 23/08/2013 10:06 - United States

Today, after recently discovering that I need a bone marrow transplant, my girlfriend got tested to see if she could be a donor. When the results came back with a negative match, she blurted out, "Oh thank god." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 173

You deserved it 4 358

By Anonymous - 25/01/2011 07:19 - Korea Republic of

Today, I was waiting for my girlfriend, I wanted to have a serious talk about her hypochondria. She called to cancel because she was (self) diagnosed with some sort of 'neurological disorder'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 094

You deserved it 3 523

By Tweety - 09/04/2011 11:40 - United States

Today, I found out via a Twitter post that my girlfriend is pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 896

You deserved it 8 515

By captainuniverse - 14/05/2016 05:53 - United States - Nashville

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 102

You deserved it 1 286

Blockages

By jakestorm - 04/09/2019 20:00

Today, my girlfriend texted me to pick her up some medicine because she’s "all plugged up." When I arrived with laxatives, she yelled at me. She meant her sinuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 708

You deserved it 378

Sweet relief

By Anonymous - 17/06/2016 03:00

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was ecstatic. Apparently, she'd been trying to figure out how to break up with me for the past four months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 625

You deserved it 1 566

By DaChief - 31/05/2016 03:17 - United States - Highland Park

Today, I went to the doctor. They did a test and said they would email me the results. My girlfriend saw the email that said "The test was positive", and now she thinks I'm cheating on her with someone named Doctor Johnson. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 379

You deserved it 1 107

Bad sign

By ITalkGood - 28/12/2009 00:37 - France

Today, I finally told my girlfriend I love her. She corrected my grammar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 786

You deserved it 10 024

By Anonymous - 02/09/2015 13:29 - United Kingdom

Today, I was diagnosed with depression. My girlfriend's idea of consoling me was to break up with me because she can't date a "psycho". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 797

You deserved it 2 193

Next

Top comments

brokenangelexy 13

Wednesday 14 March 2012 16:09

Don't be silly wrap your willy!

tencentsakiss 19

Wednesday 14 March 2012 16:11

I want to know if this is just your cute way of writing, or if she's really too dumb to realize that she's pregnant.

Comments

a_lenzmeier 11

Wednesday 14 March 2012 17:13

More like f the babies life. I get that this site is to make a mockery of and enjoy the misfortunes of others. However, I'm going to call douche on this one. You guys are about to become parents, and you turn it into a joke? This is a whole new level of douchebagarry.

kjz102 5

Wednesday 14 March 2012 17:37

I love the way you worded this!!!

Rainbowbright99 4

Wednesday 14 March 2012 17:27

You will now have somone to take care of your frail elderly body. Also, kids are fun. It's good to have a human being that will always love you.

taco_bender 12

Wednesday 14 March 2012 17:43

Hahahahaha. Crap i got nothing. This is getting thumbed dwn hahahah.

jayman117 5

Wednesday 14 March 2012 17:35

Congrats! Have fun with parenthood

j_cat187 19

Wednesday 14 March 2012 17:25

Either that's really good or really bad, it's all perspective. Congratulations, you are now a father, or congratulations your options are now limited.

LadiDi_fml 10

Wednesday 14 March 2012 17:41

How old are you?

awesomeAlexx0 0

Wednesday 14 March 2012 17:47

Haha you thought PMS was bad now your messing with an angry pregnant chick. Have fun buddy

pnutbutternjelly 15

Wednesday 14 March 2012 17:47

Am I the only one who finds it weird that he called periods an illness?

noidea06 7

Saturday 7 July 2012 19:57

if you're a girl, you'd understand.

pnutbutternjelly 15

Wednesday 14 March 2012 17:51

Plus, it is not curing anything if it is only temporary. Not that you can " cure" periods anyway.

SpartanMerc 18

Wednesday 14 March 2012 19:16

Menopause can...

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Keywords

Gross Poopoo peepee Cats Animals Awkward Smells Love Embarrassing Miscellaneous Health Painful First Dates Work Christmas Grieving Social Media Music Anniversary Boredom Intimacy Abuse Ironic Alcohol AITA Transportation Am I overreacting? Drunk Kids Parents Gun control

The Top

Today, I was eating cereal and decided to warm it up to see what it tasted like. So, using a candle in the room I placed my spoon over the flame and waited to see if it heated up. Pleased with my silly experiment, I put the spoon back in my mouth. I now can't talk because of my swollen tongue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 760

You deserved it 250 851

Today, I accidentally called my teacher "Babe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 355

You deserved it 15 024

The Top

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because someone asked him if we were dating and he lied and said no. He said he didn't want to be a liar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 520

You deserved it 2 691

Today, I met my new roommate. I also met her stuffed animals, who introduced themselves to me. My roommate makes inanimate objects talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 224

You deserved it 4 336

Today, I asked my father if it was okay for me to take an ADHD test. He spent about 30 minutes yelling at as to why that is a dumb idea. I have asked multiple people who know me better than anyone else and they believe that I might have ADHD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 149

Today, I met my daughter's boyfriend, who she hopes to marry. I asked what he does, to which he answered, "I'm a Flamencologist." Flamencology? The study of Flamenco? Huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 882

You deserved it 7 000

Today, I got a perm in an attempt to prove to my family that I'd been doing well with my life since I last saw them almost a year ago. I ended up going over for dinner looking like Bozo the Clown thanks to my idiot stylist, and my brothers wouldn't stop mocking me about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 657

You deserved it 23 898

Today, my new bikini must be cheap as shit because I tanned nicely where I put on sunscreen, but where I didn’t apply it under the bikini I’ve gotten super red sunburn on my butt, my lady bits, and my boobs. My nipples look like the ends of red felt tip pens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 641

You deserved it 838